As his name bespeaks, just he, the one and only Mr. Cynical could possibly identify your long lost (or nearby) evil twin (separated at birth, of course). Only he of such pessimistic mien could have the remotest chance of rendering a personality profile of your malignant alter ego.
Imagine, if you will, Enderw24’s malicious and unimaginative not-so-witty doppelganger. Why, the b@stard could easily take over Hollywood before lunch time! I dare you to take the;
Elusive Miser: Your evil twin is frequently seen wandering shoeless in dark alleys wearing snake-proof pants. Since he has a felony conviction for graffiti vandalism, his tagging is now limited to classic items such as, “Here I sit, all broken hearted…”
Your evil twin is involved in a torrid affair with SanibelMan. You will recognize her by the way she not only delicately fingers the stem of her wine glass to flirt, but by the way she deep-throats the candelabra whenever the wine steward passes by.
Your evil twin takes advantage of you on the sly. When you write something witty, he comes in behind you, and messes up your spelling. He drinks Boone’s Farm Strawberry Hill, and gets tipsy after one glass.
Although your twin, he is fraternal, not identical. He is 5 feet tall, has an IQ of 47, and HE received the 4" of penis you’re missing