I’d suggest having some of Mr. Happy’s friends stand guard while you sleep, but it sounds like your wife has gotten over her fear. 
meek, we hardly knew ye. 
[QUOTE=meek]
Well I wake up this morning and make the coffee and walk out to snag a paper and she was still sleeping when I got back. I wait at the kitchen table for the inevitable.
Nothing. Like waiting for the toaster to pop, you know it’s coming, but it still startles you when it does. The anticipation of the scream was killing me. I sip my coffee, scan the headlines and wait, chuckling to myself.
Nothing. Twenty minutes later there is a stir from the bedroom. I hear her feet hit the hardwood floor and move down to the bathroom lino.
I brace for the impact.
Nothing. Three or four excruciating minutes pass while I wait. Again nothing.
I hear the water in the shower go on. No response whatsoever. Not a peep.
WTF??? 
I hear the water flow pattern change so I know she’s now in the shower. I sneak upstairs to see what happened to Mr. Happy. I expected to see a deflated carcass strewn in the doorway. Nothing. I peek in the bathroom. Nothing. No ribbon parts, paper bits or anything resembling the corpse of Mr. Happy.
I scan the bedroom. Nope not a sign of him. I check under the bed, in the closets, I open drawers and search like a madman. Mr. Happy is… MISSING!
I’m assuming she killed him and disposed of the body. But, I checked all the garbage cans in all the rooms. I was determined to find out what happened to him.
She was now getting out of the shower and I raced back to the kitchen table to act as if everything was normal. She took forever to come downstairs. She acted completely normal and said nothing about it as she joined me for a coffee at the table.
Now, I know she had found him at some point, but I can’t ask her about it. After all, I told her it was in the garbage. I wasn’t ready to admit to the crime. I thought about blaming the cats, but she knew they were never going to get anywhere near that thing.
So now it’s a standoff. I can’t ask about it, and she isn’t taking about it.
I really have no clue what she did with him.
I’m a bit nervous. I suspect she is up to something. :dubious:
I have to find him.
.
[/QUOTE]
Meek, how would you have reacted if the situation had been reversed? Also, just some friendly advice–you might want to sleep on your stomach for the foreseeable future.
The OP cracked me up, I’m sitting here giggling like crazy. I can’t wait to see where Mr. Happy turns up next.
Hah! That made me giggle.
[QUOTE=Lyrics to the song “Mr. Happy”]
Oh, it feels so good everytime I murder I get happy
[/QUOTE]
Too funny and a bonus return visit of the Horror of Blimps. A great two-fer!
If I were your gf, you’d be in serious trouble!
Ok - This is driving me nuts.
She went to her Dad’s house for dinner last night and I got an opportunity to look for Mr. Happy. I poured over every nook and cranny like a crime scene. I looked everywhere, and I mean everywhere! I don’t see how she could have disposed of it in the 3 minutes she had to deal with it.
Then I thought, what if she woke up while I was out grabbing a paper?
Could she have discovered it, whacked it and dumped it during that time frame?
So I expanded my search to the entire house and garage.
I looked for three friggen hours!
I even checked the used cat litter garbage bag, (shudder).
I found 6 cats toys under cabinets and bookcases, a multitude of dust bunnies near the furnace, but not a trace of Mr. Happy. (On a bright note, I found $1.35 in change under the dresser, woot!)
So she gets back from her Dad’s place last night, and finds me in the garage rooting in some boxes taken down from the shelves. She asks me what I’m doing. I have no answer.
I mutter, “I’m trying find something…” my voice trailing off.
“What?” She looks puzzled.
“Um… nevermind”
I put the box back on the shelf. I finally have to ask. I can’t take this anymore.
“Ok - Where is he?” looking completly defeated.
“Who?”
“Mr. Happy” I blurt out before she finishes saying the word.
“I thought you told me you put him in the garbage,” she says plainly with a poker face to rival Phil Ivey.
“Um, I think he escaped.” I say weakly.
“Well sorry I can’t help you.” as she turns and goes in the house.
So I still can’t find Mr. Happy. I’ve turned the house upside down trying to find that bastard. She ain’t letting me off the hook.
So friends, if you were her and found it - where would you hide it?
Cripes - I even checked between mattress and in the heat ducts.
She’s at work, and I have Family Day off today, so this may be my final chance to search for him.
I am stumped.
[sub]help me[/sub]
.
It’s psychological warfare on her part. She found Mr. Happy, deflated him, and stashed him someplace until she could dispose of him someplace you won’t find him, like at her Dad’s place. Now you’re going to spend all your time waiting for her to use Mr. Happy in some bizarre revenge scheme, and she’s going to nothing, serene in the idea that you are torturing yourself.
The best revenge is to do nothing, but let your victim think that you’re planning something.
I’m on your wife’s side but…
She murdered him, and she’s going to get away with it. :eek:
Mr. Happy essentially takes up no space at all once he’s dead, right? So she crumpled up the corpse, stuffed it into her purse/ makeup bag, and smuggled it out of the house.
Unless you can retrace her journey, and search every trashbin and dumpster (and culvert and field and gutter, if she’s the type who would litter) you will NEVER find a single trace.
Unless…do you think Mr. Happy was totally loyal? She might have made him an offer, and now YOU are his target. Sleep well!
She took him to her dad’s to dispose of the evidence.
She is my hero, BTW.
Perhaps she simply set him free. “Fly, Mr Happy! Fly!”
Oh I think Mr. Happy is alive … er inflated and well, sent to abide in an Undisclosed Location until such time as meek has completely let down his guard and the BAM she’s gonna spring 'im on him!
Beware any toolboxes, chests or other enclosed spaces, meek. I think she’s got some hideous revenge planned and, as we know, it’s a dish best served cold.
It’s been nice knowing you. 
[QUOTE=Tupug Anachi]
Perhaps she simply set him free. “Fly, Mr Happy! Fly!”
[/QUOTE]
now I’m picturing some poor kid on their first airplane ride, looking out of the window to see theworld spread out beneath them and instead their view is full of some evil looking balloon…
Have you looked under your pillow?
Go back to the store and buy two more!
Yep - I checked the pillows, toolboxes and other enclosed spaces, but as StarvingButStrong pointed out, if he was murdered and deflated, he could be anywhere.
To answer medstar’s question I missed earlier, “How would you have reacted if the situation had been reversed?”
I’d want revenge of course. Which is why I strongly suspect she is planning retribution. Evil retribution.
However, the one place I didn’t check was her car. She mayyyybe had a chance to dump it there while I was out getting a paper then finish the job on her way to her Dad’s place that evening, but I don’t think she would have gone through all that trouble.
Maybe she flushed him. :eek:
Nah… I’m reaching for answers now.
I figure I have four options for getting her to crack and tell me what she did with him.
Option One: Begging. I e-mail her at work and say that I will NEVER, EVER try to scare her again if she tells me what happened. I figure this has a 10% chance of working.
Option Two: Threats. I can threaten to shave her cat before she gets home from work. (I often tell her I’m going to do this one day after finding a tuft of cat hair in my cereal bowl.) She may think I’m bluffing, (cuz I am), but she may crack under the pressure, especially if I send her a video link of me holding the kitty klippers to her “fluffy princess.” This I rate as a 20% possibility of success.
Option Three: Bribery. “Hunny if you tell me, I’ll buy you dinner or something nice!” This may work, but it may not be cost effective if her price is too high.
(50+% success rate on this one, but at what cost?)
Option Four: Find Mr. Happy - Shit - I’m just tired of this one.
What say you folks?
I see on preview, Zebra’s post. YES! Good one! I am looking up the store as soon as I hit submit. I’ll call and make sure they still have them.
That’s the backup plan.
Mmmm… shaved pussy.
Wait, what?
I just want you to know, this is now one of my favorite threads EVER. Thanks!
[QUOTE=meek]
I see on preview, Zebra’s post. YES! Good one! I am looking up the store as soon as I hit submit. I’ll call and make sure they still have them.
That’s the backup plan.
[/QUOTE]
Nothing good can come of this.
I hope mrs meek doesn’t think that revenge is a dish best served cold.
Or else, one Halloween night, many years from now, meek will be driving alone, at night, down a creepy forested road, when suddenly he will feel a touch to the back of his neck, and whip round to see a hideous, disembodied torso… floating… AAAARRGHHH! ScREECH!!! CRASH!
Another victim of the curse of Mr Happy.