I think I found her birthday gift…
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Do you have a death wish?
Or you could get her a balloon made up like a clown.
Just don’t tell her who suggested it!
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She is my kinda gal. Paper shredder disposal. She rocks.
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I think if you go on vacation, you should have a Mr. Happy greet you at the hotel room and then at some pre-arranged restaurant.
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Personally, I smell some kind of photoshop competition.
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For your anniversary I have three words: scary clown painting.
Just a side note- I noticed on that site that they have ‘exploding cigarette loads’. No joke… These caused my mom to stop smoking because they burned her face pretty badly. Just a warning for those who consider such things to be ‘fun’.
I always split those loads the long way before inserting them in my husband’s cigs. They were easier to load, AND he never got a burn. Why yes, he HAS stopped smoking. Before he stopped, though, I’d gotten him to the point where he’d take his pack with him wherever he went. Otherwise, he’d find it in a different position, and he never knew whether I’d loaded that pack or not. 
Umm.
Umm.
May the good lord protect you. And if this isn’t threadspotting material, then nothing is.
awesome. the paper shredder. there is no coming back from the shredder.
See, that’s what dangerous about this place. I just spent the last hour and a half googling phrases like “Gacy clown painting,” “Clown parade balloon” and “Harry Potter Prisoner of Azkaban clown jack-in-the-box” looking for something appropriate for meek’s lovely bride.
I got nothin’.
Tenar, would this perhaps be a start in the right direction?
meek, you must fight back. You can’t let her win. She must get hell for this. She must find another evil balloon, but then she also must face the wrath of a couple of clowns you hired to make breakfast.
In the spring, I suggest putting clear, flavorless rock candy in the showerhead. When she showers, she’ll be covered with sugar water. She’ll walk around all day with bees following her and paper and dirt sticking to her. Then she’ll come home and take another shower.
meek, for mankind, you must win.
How about a bouquet of evil balloons delivered by clowns ?
Never did understand that hotlinking thingie, but apparently the link above does it. Just Google Pennywise, thusly, and you’ll see who I mean.
This is GENIUS!!!1111!!!
You need to Trademark this idea. The perfect anti-valentine gift for those who are tired of the hallmark holidays ( yeah, I know, it isn’t really a Hallmark holiday, but it’s been totally taken over.) and you get to put some clowns to work.
I would suggest that you do what she asks. After all there is another holiday coming up on March 14th.
Jeez. Are you trying to give us ALL nightmares?
I dunno Rick, I don’t think she has Steak & a BJ Day marked on the calender.
And - At the rate I’m going, I’d be lucky to get tofu and a handshake. AGAIN!
Dang - you people are vicious! Now I’m scared of clowns.
LOUNE, I can’t Buddy, I made a deal. She didn’t win. It was a tie.
We had a lot of laughs talking about it though. And later she kissed me and told me it was her most memorable V-Day in her life.
So - I *think *I am out of the doghouse for now.
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You should be grateful for that, having lived your life in dangerous ignorance of the evil that clowns are. (nodnodnodnodnod)
ETA: You obviously missed this thread, which made it all clear.
Especially clowns with cigarette loads! (nodnodnodnodnod)
[sub] (Delivering balloons.)[/sub]
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Everyone knows that is Pi day… I don’t know where you get your information 
Bring her a floating pie of death!