Mr.Prime Minister, can you spare a minute?

The BBQ Pit
1

You are a spineless jellyfish with the integrity of a salami sandwich. Ten years ago, in the House, you said we shouldn’t help with Desert Storm because, “there might be a war.” You stupid fuck. Thank God you were the opposition and nobody gave a flying fuck what you said.

But now, asshole, you’re the Prime Minister. You promised America a thousand troops to help in their fight against terrorism. A thousand. Fucking Bolivia can do better than that, but okay, it’s something.

Now you’ve changed your mind, you yellow dog, because “we don’t want to have a big fight there.” You cretin. What the fuck do you think is going on in Afghanistan? A shuffleboard tournament? What does that tell our boys in the military? It’s a fucking insult. How would I feel if the Duty Sargeant told me to go on patrol, but to come back to base at the first sign of trouble? I’d be insulted, you encephalitic idiot.

If you won’t listen to American intelligence, at least listen to ours. They both told you that there are terrorist operating here, and it’s possible that the monsters who took out the WTC used Canada as a launch pad. It’s our fight too, fuckhead.

During the last election, one of your flunkies came to my door scrounging for votes, and asking if he could put his sign on my lawn. I laughed in his face and told him to take a hike. Next time, I won’t be so polite.

I could go for another two pages, but the better half just brung me a coffee and a pair of donuts (hey, I’m a cop) and told me to calm down.

I’m going to take that advice, but first I want to apologize to my American friends.

I’m sorry. Our Prime Minister represents Canada, but he doesn’t represent any Canadians that I know.

2

God. For the first couple of paragraphs I thought that you were talking about OUR prime minister! I was thinking "Slip isn’t British, is he?

Sorry. No comment to make on YOUR PM. Good luck.

pan

3

thanks for the rant Slip. I’m with ya.

The Friday after 9/11 (I guess that would make it 9/14), I sent a nastygram off to my MP (who just happens to also be the Minister of Foreign Affairs - John Manley) telling him exactly what I thought of Chretien and our Liberal government’s inaction to that point. What a beautiful piece of prose it is, and to this day not even a “thanks for writing” response from my own MP! Can’t wait for him to come knocking on my door next election!

given the content of your rant, you might be interested in reading the letter I sent to Manley. If so, drop me an email and I’ll forward it to you.

4

Reilly: Do post your letter.

Personally, I’m ashamed of Canada’s non-involvement in this. Our citizenry stepped up to the plate on Sept. 11, and the Canadian-on-the-street wants to do more. The government’s dropped the ball big time.

I honestly thought the severity of this situation would prod the government out of its lethargy and into doing something useful for a change. Nope. We’re still the slackers of the Western world. It’s humiliating.

5

Wait, isn’t your PM the guy who took the pie in the face and punched the pie-thrower?

No matter how much of a dick I don’t know your prime minister is, I have to admit that was pretty cool.

6

Are you referring to “the Shawinigan handshake”, which Cretin gave to a (pieless) anti-globalization protester Bill Clennett in '96?

He didn’t hit the Pie thrower.

7

You know, I can’t help but notice that for the last 30 years or so, the separatists in Québec have been saying that Crétin is a no-good piece of shit (the only place where he is popular here is in his own riding). The rest of Canada didn’t want to listen. Now we’re stuck with the idiot. God I’m glad I never voted Liberal.

8

I can never decide who’s sexier, Jean Chretien or Joe Clark…

9

You don’t pay much attention do ya slip. You might have heard that the northern alliance wasn’t terribly thrilled about more troops coming into their country. The British, whom I assume you will think have been appropriately supportive, have 6,000 troops on hold and are singing the same tune. All foreign troop deployments in afghanistan are on hold for the time being and all leaders are engaged in dithering about it.

10

You tell 'im, Slip. In my opinion, Chretien is the biggest do-nothing PM we’ve ever had. If he were more afraid to take a stand on anything, he’d be dead. “Oh, you misunderstood; I did not promise to repeal the GST.” Yeah, whatever. Thanks for coming out. :rolleyes:

(Larry, I’ve got the newspaper picture of the “Shawinigan Handshake” in my scrapbook. That was a keeper!)

11

Well we appreciate that, Slip. It may take a while, but we’ll get the job done. We could have used the help, I’m sure, because it won’t just be Afganistan that has terrorists to be dealt with. And yes, Canada does have its share, which eventually will come out of the woodwork. Let’s hope not.

12

But we’re still in agreement that he’s a :wally:, right? (The PM, that is.)

13

Oh, please.

The Northern Alliance aren’t terribbly thrilled. Who cares?

Certainly not Chretien, since he made no mention of that in his decision to keep the troops home.

And I do pay attention, Ned. The Northern Alliance is saying, “Thanks. Now get lost. We’ll take it from here.”

Excuse me for laughing my ass off.

And I’m the guy not paying attention. Oh, my sides!

14

ReillyDog,
I’d love to read your letter. My email is in my profile.

15

IANAC but I did read Mark Steyn’s Sept. 24 column in the National Post. It was directly relevant to your discussion. See http://www.nationalpost.com/commentary/columnists/columnist.html?c=‘mark%20steyn’

Excerpts:

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december,

Those are very harsh words.

It saddens me to admit that they are also true.

What became of our courage? We were famous for it.

17

The courage is still there. It’s the means that aren’t.

18

But my wife is, and I’ve spent enough time in and around canada to know that it is a great country full of great people.

Then there’s Chretien.

Most of the Canadians I know will say “hey, he’s one of THEM, not one of US”.

Do they have term limits?

We (the US) appreciate the moral support we’re getting from you folks, anyway. Even if your PM is a worthless oxygen bandit.

b.

19

Slip, it may interest you to know that Canada has an equally half-arsed brother called Australia.

20

(We must be the other half of the arse) :smiley: