Munch needs some good vibes

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Well, where do I start? School is going well, it’s hard, but it’s certainly within my capabilities. I could have been working harder this semester, lord knows I have the time.

But I received a phone call from my brother last night. Basically, the first words out of his mouth were “Dad’s in the hospital.” I won’t get into the details, but basically, his heart is working at 20% of what it was 6 months ago. And he wasn’t exactly running marathons 6 months ago. He’s going in for a bunch of non-evasive tests today (pretty routine, my brother says), so we’ll know a lot more by the end of the day.

My brother’s a doctor, and is keeping an ear to the ground for all of this, so he’s doing a great job of translating from doctor-speak to layman’s speak. There’s no emergent crisis, but there are going to be some serious life changes in order for my father.

My brother says that this is all quite a surprise, but for some reason, I’m not. It certainly reared its head without warning, but there’s no surprise as to what the cause is. Regardless, I’m a bit stressed as to if I should go home or not. Again, my brother stressed that there’s no immediate danger (it wasn’t a heart attack), and I will be home in a few weeks for Thanksgiving. So, any thoughts, prayers, mojo that you want to send in the direction of Indianapolis would be greatly appreciated.

2

{{{Munch}}}

That’s rough. How hard is it to get home? Your dad will probably want you to keep up your schoolwork, but you might want to be prepared to go home precipitately. It should help to talk to your teachers about this.

3

I hope your dad is okay, Munch. If you can get home without too much effort, I’d try to do so. If not, I’m sure your family understands. College is expensive and important, so I’m sure they’d want you to keep up your schoolwork.

4

Thanks for the thoughts. I’m in Indy, and my family is in Kansas City, which isn’t too bad. But the problem lies in the fact that I’m both in grad school and working full time, so not only would I have to get any sort of leave from class (I only have 2, but the papers are piling up, and I met with one of them last week, who said that no excuses would be accepted for late work at the end of the semester), but I’d also have to take time off of work.

I guess the most I can hope to do is stay connected via telephone, and look forward to Thanksgiving.

5

I’m saying a prayer for your dad and you too, Munch. Hang in there til Thanksgiving.

6

Thanks, Ellen, I appreciate it.

Well, it looks like my brother and I will be driving in to KC this weekend for a little heart-to-heart with my dad. He’s in some pretty deep denial, and insists that everyone (including the multiple doctors he’s seeing, as well as my oldest brother the doctor) is overreacting. I don’t understand how you can try to convince yourself that nothing is wrong when you have appointments to see multiple specialists. Oh well. I hope that a visit from his 3 sons and his 2 grandsons will open his eyes a bit.

7

Good luck, Munch. I hope you are able to get through to your dad, and that everything turns out OK. Keep us posted.

{{{Munch}}}

8

Thank you, Geobabe. I just got back from Kansas City. It wasn’t a good trip. It was certainly good to be with my brothers, since it’s been a while since all three of us have been together. My oldest brother has two infants, so it was good to see my nephews as well (they’re 2 1/2 and 3 months).

But the angioplasty didn’t happen (they scheduled it for Friday when I was on the road). He went into alcohol withdrawl and tried to take a couple swings at a couple of the nurses. Four security guards later, he was in restraints and under sedation. He remained in this condition all weekend, which removed any opportunity for any discussion with him.

He was in and out of consciousness all weekend, and it was absolutely aweful to see. He recognized each of us, but he would forget small pieces of information. He also at times thought he was in Miami, or in 1981, and definitely didn’t know what day it was. It was just so painful to see him wake up each time, try to lift his hands, and then discover the restraints holding his arms. It absolutely broke my heart. But there really wasn’t any alternative - if he had the chance, he’d rip out his IVs and electrodes (he got his electrodes at least twice). Also, last night he was hallucinating a little bit - which was also terrible to see him experience.

So now, he has an angioplasty scheduled for Tuesday, which is really the least of our concerns. He’d been drinking a gallon of gin a day, and is a serious risk to his own health. So while we were there, we filled out affidavits to commit him to a rehabilitation program if he refused to admit himself into one. I had to fill out a form and write out a description of his actions and habits, so that a judge can order him into a 72 hour facility in Missouri, that will probably be hell compared to a voluntary institution. If he had been lucid, and didn’t have surgery scheduled, and was going to be at home, we were also prepared to call his brothers in from out of town and hold an intervention. That’s still a possibility for the next two weeks, so I may have to make the trip into KC again before Thanksgiving.

Not to mention my 5 papers I have to research and write in the next three weeks. That certainly is secondary and very unimportant compared to my father’s health, but it’s still substantial, and only adds to my stress level.

But the absolute worst is that when my brother and I were leaving this morning from the hospital, my father was drifting into consciousness. We took the opportunity to say goodbye, and that we’ll be back soon, but that we had to drive back to Indiana. Since he hasn’t taken any fluids orally in the last 3 days his speech is mumbled, and nearly unintelligible (not to mention the effect the sedation has on his speech and dialogue). But the look in his eyes just made me die inside.

9

All my best to you and your family, Munch.

10

Oh jeez, hon. I’m so sorry. Now I’ll wish you good luck with the intervention. The alcoholism is definitely a far bigger problem than anything else. My father was an alcoholic and had heart disease, and the drinking was a big cause of the heart trouble, or at least made it a lot worse. The good news is, he got sober, and had been sober for 25 years when he died in 1996.

I don’t know how much info you already have about alcoholism, but if you need a resource, http://www.alcoholics-anonymous.org/ is a very good one. I’ve also been sober for 11 years, so if have questions or just need somebody to talk to, feel free to email me.

{{{{{Munch}}}}}

11

That’s a tough row to hoe, Munch. I hope everything works out for your family. How in Hell does someone drink a gallon of gin in one day? Your father was in dire need of intervention. It’s sad that this has to come in the middle of important schoolwork for you. Here’s hoping that your family’s efforts will be successful.

12

Thanks, everyone. Zenster, that’s a very good question. I really have no idea. I have a feeling that number might be exaggerated, but he was definitely going through at least a 1.75 L container of gin, if not more. My brother and I had a good time pouring everything out yesterday. While the timing certainly is bad, both my mother and step-mother have offered to fly me in for anything that needs to happen (i.e. intervention), even if for just a day. It was such a relief when that was offered - there’s no way I could have done it otherwise.

Geobabe, thanks for the site - I’ll definitely check it out. I’ve attended a few meetings of Al Anon (for adult children of alcoholics), but I was unimpressed. I got the impression that the people at the meetings were people who had been deeply scarred by their experiences, and had much of their soul taken out the alcoholic in their life. My family is an excellent support group, and the only thing I’m lacking is a little information, which my doctor-brother is in charge of doing in the next few days.

The major step to overcome is to find him something to DO. He retired 8 months ago, and just doesn’t have any hobbies (except for the obvious drinking). He likes to hang his hat on the fact that he and his wife took a 3 week long drive through 3,000 miles of country, including a 6 national parks and an assortment of other odd miscellania, but all other plans of travel have ceased.

In either case, it’s just a waiting game at this point.

13

Munch

Saying prayers for you tonight, friend. (I missed this the first time around.)

Bless you and your family. You all have a lot on your plate right now. I’m sure you are all overwhelmed right now. This is coming at you from so many different angles that it’s hard to know where to start.

Best of everything to you. Your SD family is here when you need us.

Nancy

14

Geez Munch, that’s quite a story.
I hope everything works out and that your father has an easy recovery.

::hugs::
Rose