So I got this friend o’ mine. He works part-time as a bartender. Sometimes you can get this feeling of feeling real blue. You know, depressed. I swear though, he makes this cocktail that just about makes you shit outta your mouth (it’s that good). He uses Vodka and Coke (which normally on it’s own I don’t like) and three other “secret” ingredients that he won’t tell me about. The stuff looks as good as it tastes. But if anyone else does it (or at least tries it) it’s just no-where near as good. I have never seen this skill of his replicated.
So what normal everyday stuff can YOU do skillfully?
My special (mundane) talents:
Wallet-flipping. No, it’s a wallet not the other thing. For a long time I had this wallet that I would open in buses or stores which would take me hours - I’d basically fumble around with this black leather object in my hands and people would start raising eyebrows. Now I have this really slick brown suede wallet I just flip out and spin round so that it’s taken out and unzipped in one hand revolution - it looks so cool when you watch it. Done damn fast too.
Umbrella opening/closing. This wasn’t my fault. My dad used to buy me these big-up circus tents. I’d go to open them and the SOB’s would rattle, struggle and then flip open only to hurl me off in a gust of wind. I’d be practically soaked by the time I would close them back up again - standing in the rain 'cause no-one would let “that monstrosity” into any building of thiers. Can’t say I blame them. Since then of course, it’s been a different story. I got this trendy li’l rain-catcher from a super-cool gadget store. Suave and efficient, it fits right into your back pocket - with enough room for change. But I’ve learned (or should I say mastered) the skill of opening it in such a way that it gives the dramatic effect of recoiling a gun - and my closing makes it look like something out of Mission:Impossible or Minority Report. All the fine ladies were impressed - gotta say so was I.
The walk. Dubbed so for a Nicholas Cage-like strut, this one’s actually a friends, not mine. I swear, heads turn for alla right reasons when he strolls over somewhere. It’s like watching a futuristic Japanese movie combined with the atmosphere of 30’s Chicago. It’s awesome.
Can you match up to that (amount of pointlessness)? Go on, I dare you…
My mundane thing that I do skillfully? Writing. No, I’m not authoring the Great American Novel (or even the Rather Mediocre American Novel) or anything like that. It’s my handwriting that I’m talking about. For some strange reason, it fascinates people. Professors, classmates, employers, random individuals – they’re all amazed. If I pay for something by credit card, the cashier invariably comments on my signature. If someone sees one of my open notebooks in the dining hall or library, they come over and compliment me. It’s actually pretty bizarre, especially since I don’t get what’s so noteworthy about my handwriting. Weird. Eerie
I used to always forget to lock the car/ leave my keys in the car/ lock the car before I opened the door. (I only locked the keys in the car once, and it was in my garage, perhaps 10 feet from another pair inside my house.) So, I worked up a little routine. Brake, Park, turn key, hit seatbelt button, pop open door, grab and remove keys, lock door. I can do it in about 3 seconds. It impresses all the girls. Well, the one girl so far.
I can sit still. Really still. At least three times I’ve been in a couch in a public area and had someone come up and ask if I was okay because I wasn’t moving.
I can do math in my head pretty well. It’s easy, it’s not brilliant, but it blows people away.
For example, I was in a work meeting the other day, and we were discounting a group of three products by $20, and also giving away a gift card that usually costs $3.95, for each of the three products.
We were working out how much to take off each of the three products.
I said, “Well, 6.67 each, plus 3.95, that would be ten… sixty… two.”
Of course, someone worked it out on the board. And I was right.
To me, that’s an easy problem. $20 divided by 3 is 6.67 (really 6.666666_ ). 6.67 plus 3.95 is also easy: 6.67 plus 4.00 minus 5 cents.
I can add, subract, multiply – but for some strange reasons, percentages and moving the decimal point are harder for me.
I’m the recognised king of the office chair (the kind with wheels) - we have an open plan office and i work with a bunch of other designers/developers so we always need to move and look at other peoples screens etc.
I can get from my desk to any other desk with just one perfectly timed and aimed push - no need to put my feet down to stop or anything like that.
I can make a lovely drumming sound with my fingers-and not the usual way. I make a fist, hold it above a desk (about an inch), and then, one by one, I spring my fingers toward the desk. They hit about a second or less apart. I can then do it the reverse way (pinky to pointer finger). I can sustain this indefinately.
Also, while watching movies, I exhibit an extraordinary power of memory. I can tell you which actor/actress starred in what movie (as long as the movie has been around in my time). Unfortunately, that is the extent of my super-memory. I can apply it to nothing else…
Thank you, I was happily stuffing my face until I read that.
Give it time, man. I reckon you could enter one of those porno-championships. Time to start rustling up with the homework…
Very. Especially since I do basically the same thing. I pull it out of it’s case holder, rotate it around my thumb and fingers also until the flip is facing me front-side up, and then I flick out the flip - all using one hand. I telz ya, it looks real sexy. Done fast too.
Now I’m figuring out a way I can take my jacket on and off smoothly too. I’m totally stumped for ideas when it comes to this.
i also can do maths in my head extremly fast, but i am totally useless when i have to use a calculator for maths, i just find using my brain much easier.
i can also flick playing cards really long distances by kinda throwing them towards the ground but then the shoot up in the air and fly for a good 50ft, its quite impressive when i do it right, thatsabout it, oh and sometimes i leap 4 stairs at a time, but hey dont we all?
I’m a stylistic genius when it comes to using my remote car door unlocker. Some people merely click and point - I do the behind the back, the between the legs, the 180-degree spin and fire, and so on. I can even riccochet the little unlocktrons off of nearby objects, like streetlights and trash cans.
It’s never gotten me a date, but I still have hope…
