My wife saw one of these “Mojito Pouches” at the store a few weeks ago and decided to give it a try. As is often the case when she does this, she realized after the first sip that she didn’t like it. Never mind, I’ll finish this 3-litre monstruosity all by myself (fortunately it keeps for up to 6 weeks - I’m getting there).
So, there I was pouring myself a drink when I realized that it was absolutely ridiculous. Perhaps it was the pathetic sound of the liquid trickling down into my glass. Or the huge shapeless pouch. Or the stupid “faucet” thingy that made it look like I was helping a plastic dwarf pee. I don’t know. But for something so innocuous, it sure made me feel unreasonably self-conscious.
That happened to me. The funeral was on an Indian Reservation, and most of the family probably didn’t even own a suit. Everyone was dressed respectfully, but I stood out as the white guy in a suit. Also, it made it more difficult to shovel dirt into the grave, which was not just a ceremonial task.
In recent years, I’m also irrationally embarrassed by the size of my gut. Maybe not irrationally.
No need to feel embarrassed. It’s always better to be over dressed than under dressed. And yes, I realize the operative word is “irrationally”.
I always feel like a doofus when I get an automated operator and I have to state my reason for calling and end up having to repeat it over and over. I’m always alone when it happens but it’s still embarassing.
“Talk to a representative”
<I’m sorry, I didn’t catch that. Please explain in a few words the reason for your call>
"*Talk *to a representative!!
<I’m sorry, I didn’t catch that. Please explain in a few words the reason for your call> TALK TO A REPRESENTATIVE!!!
I usually just start hitting random numbers at that point. More often than not, I’ll eventually get a person, especially if their asking for an account number and I enter something (knowingly) incorrect.
Our standard work break is 1/2 hour. I like to take time and savoy what I eat, so it takes me a lot longer to eat a meal. I usually just bring some cookies and coffee for break.
I always feel embarrassed seeing people eat full meals while I’m just nibbling. Sometimes they offer me some of their food (because they think I can’t afford food). Sometimes they might think I’m showing off by not eating much (I am very thin). Sometimes I go eat outside rather than watch other people eat.
Sort of came close the 2nd to last funeral I went to. Was in full suit with the coat in the back seat. Saw the main group all in t-shirts for the deceased’s favorite team when I pulled in. Left the coat in the car but still had the white shirt/tie/etc. so I stuck out a bit.
So the last funeral I went to just dress shirt w/tie, etc. Was just among the top tier of better dressed.
I share an office with other employees. I am embarrassed about making medical appointments in that space. The receptionist on the phone inevitably asks for the purpose of the visit, and I don’t like reciting my maladies in public, even when it’s something totally mundane like elbow pain (as opposed to, say, hemorrhoids). To make appointments, I always go outside and use my cell phone, no matter what the issue is.
(Trying to make an appointment)
“If you’re calling about an appointment, press 1.”
(I press 1.)
“If you’re calling to make, cancel or reschedule an appointment, press 1”
(As I press 1) “DIDN’T I JUST TELL YOU THAT?”
Then I feel like an idiot, yelling at a phone with no person on the other end.
I don’t think it’s irrational,but…one day I waited for the bus in the morning, in the sun. I had on my sunglasses but it was still pretty bright. (Bright and early!) I got on the bus, and the bus was dark. I put in my pass and the driver pulled away as I was groping my way down the aisle, so I grabbed for the bar so as not to lose my balance.
Oops, it moved. It was somebody’s white cane!
So I said, “Oh, sorry, the sun blinded me and…”
Oh shit. I just complained, about being blinded by the sun–to a blind man!
At least he couldn’t see me. But other people on the bus could.
So I felt my way to a seat, and for the next few weeks I left early and walked like half a mile to a place where I could catch a different bus.
Also, this was years ago. The kid in question is 23 now, but at the time he was about two. I took him into the library. While I was looking for a book, he started pulling out all the cardboad things they store current magazines in (after about a year they have them as bound copies) and strewing the magazines all over the place. I changed my focus from looking for a book to restoring a pile of New Yorkers to order, but by then he had moved on to another magazine, and I couldn’t keep up with him, so I grabbed him and left. And went way out of my way to another library for like, 10 years.
There is probably not the faintest chance that the people on the bus or in the library would have remembered me, or even cared. Well, maybe the librarian. But why take the chance, better to disappear.
I go to the movies alone 99% of the time. I feel awkward standing in the concession line all by my lonesome sometimes, but the feeling is not strong enough to deter me from getting popcorn.
However, I get embarrassed at the thought I might bump into people I know. And when someone asks me what I did over the weekend, I never tell them I went to the movies.
By the way… I’ve hung out with blind people and that is normal. They wouldn’t think anything about your story. Things I have seen with blind people that should be embarassing are:
Wanting to donate money to a cause without bringing attention to themselves, so they hlld out a bill without talling them. How are they supposed to know you are holding out money?
Then not telling them the denomination. They won’t know what it is.
Waiter standing across the table and ask if they can take their order. The blind person doesn’t know the waiter is looking at them.
When asked about a particular food, the waiter pointed down the table and said, “it’s what they have”, thinking that the blind person can tell what a person down the table has.
Hmm… Making a post and then noticing typos and can’t figure out how to edit it. Now everyone can see that I can’t type. (I shouldn’t type and eat at the same time)
When I write something that is going to be public, but isn’t yet, I don’t want anyone to see it. It doesn’t matter if it’s in progress or if it’s finished and meant for publication at a later time. It’s very stupid because I’ll half-consciously take action to prevent my stuff from being seen. Like I’ll snatch it off the printer right away, place it face-down if I have to leave it, or shut my computer if I walk away with it pulled up on the screen. And the point of it is literally that people will read it, so I don’t know why I’m so cagey about it.
I’m kind of weird about other stuff I write, too. Like stuff that is for personal use rather than publication, but is really not private. I have a notebook with this kind of stuff- brainstorms, checklists, to-do lists, stuff for fundraisers, etc. The content is not remotely personal. It’s not like it contains my secret thoughts and feelings and a list of my crushes and which ones of my friends I can’t stand. The closest thing to actually embarrassing is the brainstorms because some of the ideas are kind of half-formed and silly. And yet, that thing is like my diary (if I brought my diary to work with me, I guess). I get a spike of anxiety if someone touches it and I don’t leave it lying around where people can see.
Also, anything that records the things I like… if that makes any sense. I don’t want anyone seeing my Spotify playlists or Netflix history or anything like that. Again, there’s nothing secret on there. And it’s not like I never tell anyone what kind of music I listen to or shows I watch. If you know me, you’re not going to be surprised that my playlists are eclectic leaning toward nerdy. And if you know me and you like me, you’re not going to suddenly think I’m weird because you see the music I listen to. You already know I’m weird.
When I go to meetings at work, I bring my laptop with my mouse still attached, because I hate touchpads. I try to look cool and professional while walking to the meeting, but sometimes the mouse will slide out of my hand and hit the floor. If I detach the mouse and carry it separately, I still have the same issue. It will somehow work its way out of my hand or pocket and hit the floor. It’s most distressing.
I think the most embarrassing sound however is the sound a toilet makes when I sit on it and it’s not flush (so to speak) with the floor. It tilts and makes that clanking sound, like OMIGOD DID YOU JUST HEAR THAT FATASS ALMOST BREAK THE TOILET??? I have to wait in the stall until everybody leaves so they won’t see my face.
If that’s the thing that bugs you the most, you can buy little plastic shims for next to nothing at any hardware store in the plumbing aisle. Stick a few under the toilet, snap them off and it’ll stop rocking.
