How have you humilated yourself today?

I just spent who knows how long walking around with my skirt tucked into my underwear. In front of the patrons. One of whom got out of prison about two weeks and keeps staring at us. (Thank you, kind co-worker who told me!)

What have you done today that made you want to go home and curl up under the bed?

Oh. My. God. Would you believe I just did it again? (Only for a few minutes this time.) Seriously, nobody washed their hands and got water all over their pants so it looks like they peed themselves? Anybody?

Okay, if it makes you feel any better, this didn’t happen today but I still remember it because it was so embarrassing: about a year ago I was sitting in a class, getting over a very bad cold with a majorly runny nose. In this class, I couldn’t just leave the room to blow my nose, and there weren’t any mirrors, so I ended up working in close proximity with two classmates for like two hours without realizing there was some gross mucus hanging out of my nose. I didn’t notice it until I got into my car after class and saw it in the rear view mirror. The only consolation I have is that it was JUST my peers and not any important school administrators or anything. :smack:
There, is that any better? :slight_smile:

A little. It would be best if you had, say, also gotten your period all over your white dress or something. That would be really helpful. :wink:

Ok, this wasn’t me, but a friend of mine, and it was in 1985, but she did get her period on our very first day of high school, while wearing white pants. Had to leave class, and call her mom to bring her clean pants. Super-humiliating, when you’re 14.

We had our “take your son/daughter to work day today.” I helped run a fun event for the kids. I was trying to guess a little girl’s name (her nickname was Ellie). When I got it wrong, I said “dammit!” Her dad was standing right there, my face turned bright red. How could I cuss in front of a kid??

I’m just not used to being around kids :frowning:

I caught a candid picture of myself and realized that a shirt I’ve been proudly wearing all summer makes me look about 30 lbs. heavier than I am. Like, it’s really unflattering, and I thought it looked amazing.

Asked a coworker for the URL to our intranet .

He’s my umm subordinate I suppose. He said that it was on my desktop.

??? No it isn’t I looked.

Didn’t look hard enough I guess. Yep, there it is 4th up on the bottom left.

I’m a programmer.

Didn’t happen today, but on a day that is still in the history books as A Very Bad Day for auntie em. It was a cold, cold, wintry day, with an ice storm in the making, but ever-dedicated to the preservation of my girlish figure, I hit the gym before work as always. When I got back in my car to drive the three blocks to work, I discovered that I couldn’t back out of the parking space; the spaces were on a decline (so that the nose of my pickup was lower than the rear end), and everything was caked with ice, so the truck wasn’t budging. I went back into the gym to ask the nice lady at the front desk if it would be OK for me to leave my car parked there (I wasn’t at a meter or anything, but I was in a 2-hour parking zone) and walk to work, maybe come back at lunch and try again.

She offered to get some of “the guys” to help me get the car out of the space, and after a couple of minutes, three large, burly men were bundled up and out in the cold, giving my truck the super-heave-ho while I perched in the driver’s seat, gunning the engine.

And they pushed.

And I gunned.

And they pushed.

And I gunned.

It took a mighty long time, and a mighty effort, but at long last, the truck was out of the parking space!

As I waved my thanks and paused to shift from reverse to first gear, a fourth guy came walking out of the gym and hollered, “Hey! You’ve got your emergency brake on!!!”

I wanted to die right then and there.

But alas, the day had more in store for me.

You see, I had been the point person in setting up a big annual meeting that was to take place on that day. Needless to say, when I got to work, I immediately started calling all of the participants to let them know that the meeting would be cancelled because of the weather (in fact, when I arrived at work, I already had phone messages from a couple of participants - one of whom pointed out that it was “slicker than snot” out there - who were calling to see if the meeting was still on). I had to crank, because I only had a couple of hours before the meeting was to start, but I finally made it through the entire list of would-be attendees, and called the sandwich shop that was to cater lunch for the meeting . . .

. . . and then, of course, I got a call from the facility where the meeting was to be held. Somehow, alerting the kind folks at the meeting facility that the meeting would no longer take place had not even occurred to me. And it gets better. Seems one of the meeting attendees was at the facility, madder than a hornet, and confused as hell, because he’d shown up for this meeting and nobody else was there.

Oh, crap.

You see, when I’d gone down the list of meeting attendees to let them know about the cancellation of the meeting, I hadn’t been able to reach him. His phone had rung and rung, without even an answering machine or voicemail, so I’d moved on, vowing to try him again at the end.

Which I then forgot to do.

And boy, was he mad.

In the end, I placated all offended parties from that day with free food; I went to a nearby restaurant and bought gift certificates for all of the big, burly fellas who’d worked so hard against emergency brake odds to get my car out of the parking space (though it was SO hard to walk back into that gym!), and when the big annual meeting was finally rescheduled, I gave the one guy who’d shown up for the cancelled meeting his catered lunch for free.

Food fixes a lot of things.

Um…you…you kicked my dog!

Food? is hungry

auntie em when I was in college I was heading home and there were a bunch of people trying to push a car out of a parking space. They recruited me because I was a weight lifter. I tried to push this little car and it wouldn’t budge. I thought about it a second and then walked up and released the emergency brake.

The girl blushed, apologized and drove off. (She didn’t feed me though!)

I got a rotting plum and some three-day-old Lo Mein. The choice is yours.

Awww, shit–that was YOU???

Just kidding. I think.

On a related note, don’t forget to lock in your front hubs. Especially if you loaned your Jeep to a friend and they unlocked them and then the next day go jeeping with your brother (where I live, they generally stay locked in).

WHAT THE HELL? I’ve be up this trail lots of times! Oh. hehehe.

While walking, I crashed hard into a wooden store sign (the kind that businesses set out in front of their shops). I’ve got a big scrape and bruise on my upper arm, and I must have looked drunk.

You know those signs the police sometimes put up that show you how fast you’re driving? I had a friend who wanted to run by one of those, to see how fast he was running. He ended up running into the sign.

I was out to dinner with a friend of mine (Dennis) who had just come back from living 2 years in Japan. We were accompanied by two of his friends from highschool, who I had not met before. I´d just finished a class called Love and Death in Japanese Society and talked to others who had lived there, so I was asking Dennis a lot of questions about stuff I had learned–enough that one of his friends turned and asked me, “Where did you learn so much about Japan?”

I was surprised, and felt a little proud at having accumulated such in-depth knowledge.

Then my friend started telling us all about the trip he took to Cambodia. From Japan.

“How far away is Cambodia from Japan?” I asked.

And then…

“Did you drive?”


ETA: That happened a long time ago. Since I´ve been trying to communicate in Spanish for the past two months, I generally humiliate myself on a daily basis here. Though my favorite was when we visited a beautiful environmentally protected gated community here called Los Aguabayos.

As I gazed at the stunning natural beauty around me, my host father´s brother walked up and said, in Spanish, “So do you like Aguabayos?”

And I said…
“Well I don´t really eat them that often.”

Saturday morning I was eating breakfast at McDonalds before work. A bit of grease or something dripped on my lap while I was eating a steak McBagel. It looked like a pee stain, except water-soluble liquids tend to dry and fade in khakis, but grease seems to remain an unpleasant urine-color. I didn’t have any way of removing/concealing it, and figured that fussing about it would make it more obvious than it already was.

Nobody said anything. But I’m sure they wondered.

Thursday the brakes went out on my car. I had just enough pedal to slow the car down, but not from any real speed or confidence. Thankfully I was out of town and there was very little traffic,so I carefully drove the last couple of miles to the house and parked the car.

The next day I wanted to drive the car into the garage so I could get a good look and see what the problem was. I lightly set the parking brake so that the car would move if I gave it some gas, but stop if I let off. Got it in the garage, determined the master cylinder was bad, decided to back it out of the garage and park it until I could get the right parts.

As I am backing out of the garage, I have to make my way in between two trees, one on either side of the driveway. I can easily see that I have room on my left, but looking over to the right is hard because of turning my head and a blind spot from the roof pillar.

As I am backing up, I forget several important things: 1) the parking brake (rear drum), due to design, does not work as well in reverse as it does forward, 2) my driveway slopes downwards from the garage, so I pick up speed without even using the gas. As I am backing up, much faster than I wanted to, I see the tree on the right side of the car pass only inches past my windows and lightly touch my outside mirror. Of course, as soon as I see how close I am to the tree, I promptly hit the the brake pedal, and become suddenly aware that 3) I do not have any brakes. ::head smack::

The car rolls just past the tree, without making any contact, and I sit and wonder how I managed to forget all these things in such quick succession. I blame it on cerebral flatulence.

Yesterday I had to leave work early. I was too hungover. I’ve never felt like such a chump in my life.