Ummmm, Not yet, but it’s early?
Not done anything today, but I did note that this thread has a huge amount of views relative to replies. Clearly everyone looking for embarrasing material.
Probably now they’re all looking out for librarians with their skirts up.
Last week I rung up an old friend and asked her to meet me in the nearest big city, just to see her one last time before we both move to different states.
This morning, I woke up feeling dizzy and bad. The whole state is blanketed in storms. I’m perpetually afraid of my twelve-year-old car, have never driven in that particular big city before, and I’m moving house in a week so I’ve been pretty stressed and fragile. I decided to make the trip in spite of all this.
Thirty miles down the road I got faint and started to cry. I pulled off at the next exit and called her, to tell her I couldn’t do it.
Humiliating. If I don’t have the sense to make these kinds of trips, then I ought to have the sense not to arrange them.
I’ve been fighting a bad head cold for over a week. On Friday, I kissed a friend on the cheek and only then realized that I left a little smear of snot behind. She deserves better than that.
And a golden oldie: my aunt Jody once freaked out on a hot day because she thought she’d locked her little girl in the car. She called the police and was practically hysterical by the time they arrived. The cop looked at the car thoughtfully, then walked around to the other side and and opened that door - it was still unlocked. It took her a loooooooong time to live that down.
A college friend once complimented a girl on the stud in her nose. Turns out it was just a small, shiny boil.
This didn’t actually today, it happened yesterday. At my first job interview ever.
I’m sitting down in the hiring manager’s office with one of his colleagues sitting next to me (I’m assuming to help calm down the interviewees since he never said a word during the interview) as he goes over my resume.
I got a bachelor’s degree, good.
I have some managerial experience, good.
“How did you hear about us?”
“Oh, from monster.com.”
“Sounds good. I see you’re from ______ which isn’t far from us. How long did it take you to get here?”
For some reason, I thought he meant from me first seeing the ad on monster, to applying, to get to the interview so I said “two days”.
The hiring manager and his colleague proceed to give me an odd look.
At that point I realize what they meant and said “oh I’m sorry! I thought you meant from the time I applied to my getting here! It took about 10-15 minutes to drive here.”
We all had a good laugh, and I think that helped me get out some of that nervous tension, but man what a way to make an impression!
I guess my flub didn’t really bother them because they offered me a second interview for this Friday. I sure hope I don’t give them anymore weird answers! 
Appeared in public wearing a porkpie hat, Coke bottle glasses, 24 hours of stubble, a tight sweaty polo shirt, baggy cargo shorts with stuff in the pockets, and deck shoes with white ankle sox. All I needed was a fluorescent sign around my neck reading SEX OFFENDER.
The film on my camera wouldn’t advance, after taking a dozen pictures. I hoped the camera wasn’t too screwed up, so I took it to the shop I’d bought it at(best camera store in the area!)
The technician looked it over, put it in a black bag to take the film out, and so on. Then he looked at me, and without even so much as a smirk said “Your roll it filled up!”
I’d forgotten it was a twelve shot, not one of my usual 24 shot rolls. :smack:
I love that store. Even if the guy was thinking I was a doofus, he didn’t show it.
Yes, I did so today, but I was alone and it wasn’t a big deal. For the past 2 weeks I’ve had a new flip phone. Never had one before. Kept trying to shove the whole thing into its little hipside carrier and wondering why it was so hard to jam in there and then even harder to remove.
I found out today that I’m supposed to leave the flip part outside. :smack: :smack: :smack: What a maroon.
Well if it makes you feel any better, I’m sure I would have done the same thing. Except I probably would have never figured it out, ended up dismissing it as defective or something and stopped using it altogether. I have a flip phone and the whole thing goes in the holster(and yes, it’s supposed to!)
I have to punch in a three digit code to get in the outer door of our office. This morning I arrived as usual, hit the numbers, door wouldn’t open. I try this a few more times without success. Hmmm, I think, they told me they change the code periodically–they must have done it last night. So, I go ask the office manager on the other side of the hall what the new code is. She is puzzled–as far as she knows it is still the same. So she gets up, walks back across the hall with me and watches me punch in the code. No, she says, it’s cba, not abc.
Oh…right. I have only opened this door about 5 times a day for the last six months.
I can squeeze the whole thing into the holster if I try, but when I pull it out, it tends to loosen the panel on the back.
Walked into Panera’s and picked up a bottle of root beer. While waiting in line, I proceeded to DROP said bottle of root beer. This makes a loud noise, and a large mess. Helpful employee comes out to mop up floor/sweep up glass/warn all of us wearing sandals to watch out for glass.
I pick up new bottle of root beer and am still waiting in line when someone points out that “she’s bleeding”.
Sure enough, I am the she who is bleeding. Not a big cut, but I have blood from mid-shin to the second strap on my sandal (three strap sandal). They get me a bandaid, a handful of paper towel, and a iodine cleaner thingy. And offer to bring me my food. (No. I hadn’t ordered food. )
I tried to take my kid for a ride in the Jeep. It started up, then promptly died, not to restart.
Par for the course.
It wasn’t today, but within the last 24 hours.
My sister and I went out for sushi for the first time EVAR last night. We walk in and I immediately blurt out, “WE HAVE NEVER HAD SUSHI BEFORE AND HAVE NO IDEA WHAT WE ARE DOING!” My sister rolls her eyes at me as we’re ushered to the sushi bar and given a small pencil and a piece of paper on which to record our order.
After much deliberation, we decide to order a kiska roll, a Viva Las Vegas roll and Sashimi. (My sister recommended that we do halibut for the sashimi so that we can later proclaim to have eaten sashimi “…just for the halibut” har.)
The chef, trying to protect us, says, “Sashimi is raw. You sure you want raw?”
“Sure!”
“How about I give you piece and you try first?”
“Oh… well, ok.”
So he slices us up two pieces and passes them over to us. My sister stares at her funny and I decide to paint mine with wasabi.
After twisting my face and sucking down an entire iced tea, the awesome sushi chef came out from behind the bar… poured soy sauce into the little soy sauce dishes and showed us how to mix in the wasabi. AND THEN he got us these little training wheels for chopsticks. Oy! hangs head
And so I’m thinking… this is it, we’ve got this bitch locked down! I’ve got my little bendie chopstick holder, I’ve got some kiska rolls coming up and my wasabi and soy sauce is all ready to go. What could go wrong?!
So they bring us our rolls and we spend some time trying to figure out the best way to approach this. Do we shove the whole piece in? Do we take several delicate bites so that the chef doesn’t think we’re disgusting American piglets? Aagh!
My sister decides to go for delicate bites, not realizing that seaweed has the tensile strength of a structural beam. The seaweed lashed back and somehow managed to whip her in the face, leaving bits of cream cheese and shrimp right next to her eye.
Bwaahahahahaha! Needless to say, I had a fantastic laugh at her expense and some time later, content with our newly beloved sushi, leave the sushi bar and we head to the gym.
I am a lot of things, but a gym rat is not one of them. I’m extremely uncoordinated and I look absolutely silly trying to do just about anything at the gym.
I brought my sister along because she’s good at advising on proper form, she makes everything look easy and I also figured she could spot me during bench presses so I don’t crush my throat.
She recommended that we do some stretching exercises using the pilates straps and I reluctantly agreed. I’m very leery of new equipment and I’m fairly certain that anything I can hang myself with isn’t a good exercise apparatus for me.
Nevertheless, I trust my sister so I went along with it.
At this point, she’s got me sitting on an exercise ball with a pilates bungee cord deal around my right foot, pulling back in a sort of rowing motion.
“Okay, now remember to point your toe and then flex… to make sure you stretch out your legs. Point… flex… point…flex…”
Sure thing, woman. point *fle—FWAP! That damned bungee cord came hurtling over the top of my sneaker and crashed straight into my face. :eek:
Needless to say, my sister had a pretty fantastic laugh at my expense.
Karma’s a bitch, you know.