Murder by frying pan

Cecil's Columns/Staff Reports
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I used to work with an ex-cop named R. The reason he was an ex-cop when I knew him was this:

He and his partner were sent to a house with the report of domestic violence. They went into the house where the husband was in the middle of beating up the wife. They grabbed the husband and put him in cuffs, not watching the wife. As R was turning toward the wife again, she smashed the side of his face with a cast-iron skillet, breaking his jaw, cracking his skull and shattering all the teeth in the right side of his face. He spent two months with his jaw wired shut and decided to quit the force after that.

She hit him for daring to lay hands on her husband. There’s no understanding some people.

22

Sheesh, I’d have expected someone to pick up on the straight line in my last post…

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[QUOTE=gabriela]
Couldn’t agree more. In all the domestic violence murders I have seen over the years, a frying pan has figured in exactly none. Most of them involve guns. Many of them involve stabbings (usually kitchen knives, but at least one with the stem of a smashed-off wineglass). One was from a box of tiles which somehow fell on his wife’s head - repeatedly - he tried to pass it off as accident - we were wondering if the box was springloaded and kept jumping back on the shelf and falling on her head again, or if somehow the safety was off - sorry, morgue humor. Same disclaimer as chappachula above.

Probably the most horrendous DV murder I have seen was many years ago in Memphis. Wife versus husband after long history of husband beating on wife in episode after episode of domestic violence. He’s alcoholic, too, and in his fifties, and she’s in her twenties. No idea why they married…

Anyhow, he comes home drunk and beats her and then passes out in a drunken snooze in bed, and she sits there nursing her injuries and thinking: That was the last time. And she gets a big cooking pot (no frying pan) and a five pound sack of sugar, and she puts the pot on the stove and heats it up real good, and she pours in the sugar and stirs it with a wooden spoon until it all melts and you’re starting to try to figure out if it’s in the “soft ball stage” or “hard ball stage” depending on whether you’re making fudge or hard candy. And she picks up that pot with potholders on the handles, walks into the bedroom, and dumps it all over him.

He lasted two months in the burn ICU before succumbing. He said while he was still conscious that he didn’t want to press charges. But the police pressed them after he died of the burns, because it was homicide.

Sugarcide.

I’ve decided it was “hardball” after all.
[/QUOTE]

Wow. That’s horrifying.

My ex’s wife was carrying on with some pretty bad guys after the ex died. The boyfriend had been smacking her around pretty bad and when he was asleep, she buried an axe in his face. Took his eye out, but he lived. There was also talk of someone planning to inject him with air. Somehow she got out of it. They got back together.

A short time later, he tossed her out a 3rd floor window. She lived.

She remarried a few years ago and was arrested for trying to run her husband over with her pickup truck. Somehow she beat that one, too.

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[QUOTE=gabriela]
In all the domestic violence murders I have seen over the years, a frying pan has figured in exactly none.
[/QUOTE]

Until I read this invaluable piece of information, I had formed the opinion that your view of violent fatalities was focused primarily on the humorous aspects of such premature expiries, regrettable though these may be.

My opinion has changed.

Instead of contaminating this thread with facts, you could have invented at least one frying pan related autopsy for us to discuss. Or is it now the case that this forum is to be a domain forever and exclusively confined to matters factual from now on?

I also take this opportunity to Pit all murderers of the modern era for lack of invention in their choice of weapon. I fully believe that murderers in the ‘good old days’ would have used frying pans more often than is currently the case.