My 24 yo daughter is dating a 56 yo man

Advice Needed !

She’s an adult, and you’re in the wrong forum.

Advice on what? Being awesome?

Best advice is to relax and do your best to allow her to make her own decisions, and possibly her own mistakes. If they get along and treat each other well, then for my money that’s a better relationship than one with someone closer to her own age who’s abusive.

It’s okay to let her know about your concerns–one of mine would be that, with such an age difference, the two would be at different points at different times; she’d just be getting a career going when he’s ready to retire. Have they discussed that? Have they discussed the possibility of children, and how the age difference could impact that?

But at the end of the day, at 24 one has to be free to live. Most relationships don’t work out, and this one probably won’t, so it’s best not to worry until you have something to worry about.

A guy of 56 is probably as mature as a 24yo woman… :smiley:

Plus, if they do have children, maybe he has grandkids already that can babysit.

I wouldn’t call her a friend, but an acquaintance of mine is doing the exact same thing with a former professor of hers. I’m not sure what advice to give, but try to show her that you worryingly disapprove while making it clear that she is free to make her own mistakes. Hopeful you’ve taught her not to make serious life changing mistakes (unsafe sex, ignore self-judgement, etc).

Do you have any other daughters?

Dating doesn’t mean marrying, and you don’t want to disapprove so much that you turn them into Romeo and Juliet. You’ve got to let her do it and keep yourself nonjudgmental enough that if problems arise she will come to you for help and advice. All screaming and crying needs to be done in your pillow where she can’t hear. She probably already knows you’re not happy about it, so no more needs to be said.


I’m encouraged be the original post.

Congratulate him for me.

On a serious note, your daughter will wise up shortly.

My advice is to get this thread moved to IMHO.

[quote=“md2000, post:5, topic:607859”]

A guy of 56 is probably as mature as a 24yo woman… :smiley:

I resent this. I am 55 and I am as mature as a 25 year old woman, so there!

Neener, neener, neener…
PS: I can use some advice too…from him.

Yeah, beats mine eight ways to Sunday.:frowning:

Could the OP explain what exactly is wrong with a 24 year old woman and a 54 year old man?

So moved. Now what? :wink:

That would probably be OK, this is wrong because it’s a 56 year old man.

The guy is 54/56 years old so that means that the guy is not me so the daughter is obviously dating the wrong guy.

That’s cool, I just turned 54…

This is incredibly annoying that a 56 year old man would have to stoop so low as to date such an old woman.

Aren’t there any 19 year olds available?
(Seriously: Don’t alienate your daughter. Let her know that you’re concerned about the age difference but you recognize she’s old enough to decide what she wants on her own. Then let her know you’ll be there if she wants any advice.)

Snark and seriousness in the same post. Is that allowed?