My absentee father is dead and I have no idea what to do.

Apologies if this is more suited for Mundane Stuff, but I’m a bit of an odd situation and could use some opinions/guidance.

My parents divorced when I was two years old. I never really saw my father afterward. Time passes, passes, passes. At the age of 22 I do a bit of looking around and find that my father is living in an extremely rural community deep in the midwest, a 14 hour drive from my city and several hours from any airport.

I work up to the nerve to call him and I am initially rebuffed. “I think you’ve got the wrong guy” sort of thing. I called back and confirmed by identity a few different ways, and he opened up a bit more. I spoke with him on and off (mostly off) over the course of the next year or so. In the process, he mails me a copy of his will that indicates that he would like me to be the sole inheritor of his estate. I received a call this evening indicating that he had died over two weeks ago, been cremated, etc. The circumstances of his death are sort of bizarre to me and don’t really add up (he apparently died of starvation in his own home – he’d made some mention of reduced mobility as a result of an accident he’d had while touring a factory for business, but so far as I am aware it is pretty goddamn difficult to starve in your own home).

What constitutes his estate is beyond me – so far as I can tell he was a miserable alcoholic who’d fucked life up several times over. I have no idea what he possessed in terms of material goods or assets or anything. We had not spoken particularly recently.

I’ll be honest and admit that I have absolutely no idea what I am doing in this situation, so I’d greatly appreciate any useful advice or information that might be floating around.

Thanks.

Speak to a Lawyer and get them to explain what exactly all this means to you.

My condolences on your loss. It mightnot feel like a physical absence but there may be an emotional one to come.

I’d like to add that if my financial interest in the situation seems callous, it probably. I never saw a cent of child support; and at this juncture in my life I am trying to redirect my own circumstances in a way that will unfortunately necessitate money so that I can get myself back into school and get off the early death or imprisonment train.

My life has been largely devoid of the need for attorneys. Is my general lack of funds going to be an issue in initiating that situation? Is there a particular type of attorney that I should seek?

I appreciate the prompt response.

You can talk to an attorney who will point you in the right direction if he/she can’t help directly. I’d guess you can give an attorney a percentage of the inheritance as payment.

Sorry for your situation.

I’ll add that I would not try to sort this out WITHOUT an attorney. There are lots of little things that need to be dealt with. Back taxes, if any…liens…transfer of ownership of property…other siblings you may not know about…etc, etc, etc.

I honestly have no idea. Is there a Citizen’s advice bureau in your area that you can talk to who could explain your options or point you in the right direction?

First of all, that was good that you reached out.
Many have never done that and lived to regret it.
Granted, it might not have been the warm fuzzy you were hoping for, but at least you made contact and will never, ever have to wonder “what if?”
Now you know.

Regarding being in his will as sole benefactor…go check it out. Not so much for money (which would be nice, but sounds rather unlikely) but to get any family heirlooms (and by that I mean photos, newspaper clippings, etc.) as keepsakes.

And even though you were anything but close, it is still a sad time for you.
My deepest sympathies - both for the father you no longer have, and for the father you never did have.

But again, you will someday look back on this and be glad you were able to at least make contact with him and have some closure.

My first thought is to find out who’s the executor of his estate. If that’s you, you’ve got a lot to worry about. If not, then I’d think all you really have to do is keep in touch with the executor and wait for probate to settle.

Of course, I know pretty much nothing about such stuff.

I feel so bad about the path his life took, abandoning a child to me indicates a massive amount of emotional damage. Having to live with that every day is pain I don’t even want to think about.

For whatever reason, he was unable to raise you, all he could do is let you see, at least a part of him, which should serve as a warning, as you will have a tendency to follow his path, and whatever he has to leave you in terms of worldly possessions.

Do what you need to with that money for now, but I suggest trying to understand yourself better in terms of the path your father took.

Heh, don’t worry about it. We all would like to inherit something regardless of how wealthy we are. Don’t get attached to the idea though as there might be little to inherit.

I agree that your best approach to receive good answers would be to contact a lawyer in the area where your dad lived and died. His estate, if any, will be probated in that county. And conties differ considerably in how they handle estates.

Of course, lawyers are generally unwilling to do much for free - after all, their time ought to be worth worth some money. So they might require a retainer of a couple of hundred to check things out. In a rural area it should be reasonably inexpensive to have someone make the most basic necessary inquiries. Was any property in his name, did he have any bank accounts - that sort of thing.

But until you hire them, you are off the clock. If you call the right atty when he/she isn’t busy and are in a talkative mood, they may give you a ton of info at no cost to help you form your plans for the future.

Or if you could like to do this type of thing by yourself, you could see what you can dig up via a few phone calls.

Any wills should be filed with the county. That is not to say, of course, that they are filed in every case. Probate is often a somewhat longer process than inheritance through intestate succession.

Does the will list you as executor? Because a simple estate can be disbursed without need for a lawyer - but it can be a hassle, especially if done at a distance.

But I am not your lawyer, have limited knowledge of “stiffs and gifts” law, don’t know the jurisdiction involved, etc. I repeat my recommendation that you call up a local attorney. If you aren’t comfortable just using the phone book, check with the local or state bar association for general practitioners or specialists in estates - tho in rural areas lawyers tend to generalize.