My anus burns when I eat jalopenos

Have to say, my anus doesn’t burn when I eat jalopenos… usually it’s several hours afterwards.

You’re doing it right.

I eat chillis all the time and always have this problem. And terrible cramps before I go to the toilet too.

But I still eat chillis, because you gotta.

Maybe they should call that pizza Fire-shier** :smack:

Si

I’ve always heard that eating bread can sooth the burn in your mouth, so why not wipe your ass with it? Of course, I think I’d want Wonder Bread instead of Seeded Rye, for obvious reasons.

As an attempt to appear conspicuously rich, I’ve decided to use brioche.

I think the combination of jalapenos, beans, cheese, and beer is one of the universe’s sneaky methods of convincing you to live in the moment with no thought of the future.

Chipotle zen, as it were

Krusty the Klown: His ears if we’re lucky.

Your mouth should burn while eating them, your anus some period of time later. Usually the next time you take a dump.

The old joke is eat ice cream after eating peppers, then while you are taking a dump and your ass is on fire, keep saying, “Come on ice cream, come on ice cream”.

I eat chile and peppers all the time. My asshole burns all the time. Coincidence? I sure hope not!

This would be an opportune time for Weird Al and Dexys Midnight Riders.

My anus burns even if I intend to eat hot peppers, but later change my mind and eat cheese on toast. I blame Pavlov.

I thought it meant someone is talking about your anus.

:smiley:

:: channels Johnny Cash ::

“And it burns, burns, burns…that ring of fire, that ring of fire.”

Heh. On a few occasions, I’ve eaten stir fried foods with copious amounts of hot chili oil as part of the seasoning. No charred balloon knots resulted. However, I’ve had occasions where, if I mix the super spicy stuff with a bit more fat, my anus burns like it has just touched down on the surface of the sun when everything’s made it to the other end.

snort

I’ve never liked spicy peppery food. Why would I want to eat something that makes my nose run, let alone experience the other effects?

Maybe you find yourself in prison, where you discover that a jalapeño-burning anus is your best line of defense?

If this phenomenon didn’t exist, there would be no such thing as Ass In A Tub hot sauce.

Vindaloo and drunken noodles (and other Thai dishes) just destroy everything from the middle of my intestines on down. I’ve been woken up by cramps and pains from so much hot stuff in my gut.

Hurting ass.

Fiery diarrhea.

Do it again the next week, because I love that hot stuff.

They’ll use a condom and you’ll be in even more pain. :eek: