So a week or so ago, I noticed a really sore bump right on my asscrack. I ignored it, hoping it would go away. It almost worked, but then the next day I sat funny and realised it was still there. So I started poking at it. It was squishy. Huh, I thought, that kind of feels like a pimple.
So I picked it…
…and released a massive gush of green pus!! It was disgusting! And it hurt! And since it’s in such an awkward place it’s hard to tend to. There’s now a giant oozing crater in my ass. 
Sounds like an infected cyst. You should see a doctor and get a prescription for antibiotics. You very well may regret it if you don’t.
Eh. Could be an ass boil, too. Mine was a combination of blood and pus and thoroughly disgusting. Mine finally resolved but not without a round of antibiotics. I know your pain. <sigh>
Nah, it’s healing. But there’s a secondary lump a couple of millimeters away which I’m caught between hoping will come to a head, and hoping will disappear.
Yeah, you’re right. Boils that ooze green pus, no big deal. I mean, the possibilities only include staph, MRSA, osteomyelitis, and septicemia.
Please do consult a doctor if the area becomes red, inflamed, hot, and/or swollen, or if you develop a fever/swollen lymph glands.
In keeping with other TMI pimple stories, you may consider this the obligatory request for pictures. 
[Homer]Mmmmm…green, purulent ass![/Homer]
As an aside…one guy in the Army developed a cyst on his perineum (taint, choda, whatever). It was, evidently, pretty painful. After a short stay in the base hospital, and a bit of recuperative time, he proudly displayed (to our thorough disgust) what appeared to be a second asshole.
We accused him of trying to grow a 'gina in order to get out of the Army.
Sounds to me like a pilonidal cyst. Especially since you have that other bump close to it. Antibiotics will take care of the infection, but not “cure” the cyst.
Can someone slide that wastebasket over here? I think I’m gonna be sick.
Wasn’t that what Rush Limbaugh used to get out of the draft?
I am so not clicking that link.
You’re a helluva lot smarter than I am. :smack:
Re cysts, the only way to permanently cure them is to have them surgically removed. They will become infected over and over again until they are removed. Your insurance, if you have any, will most likely cover the removal of them if they are giving you problems, but maybe not if they’re not giving you any trouble at the time. So now would be a good time to go to the doctor, while insurance would pay for it. If you don’t need a referral from your PCP per your insurance, a surgeon might be your best bet. A dermatologist might do it, but then again there’s a good chance they’d refer you to a surgeon, then you’ve wasted your time and money for that derm visit.
I had a pilonidal cyst removed from my, well, basically my tailbone when I was 19. Get it looked at. Get it fixed. The surgery is pretty easy, and it’s never bothered me again. I don’t think it will resolve on its own if it is a cyst; mine just kept leaking, you know?
Further info: Giant_Spongess, if you do have a pilonidal cyst, please read the sections on the website referenced above on “treament options” and “conservative treaments”, most importantly Dr. Bascom’s technique.
Really, the site isn’t gross and there’s only pics (I think???) if you go looking for them. But if you do have a PC, this site is very helpful.
Coincidentally, I just developed a few pilonidil cysts myself. Well, they’re not at the point where I need surgery yet, but I’ve been on antibiotics for 8 days now. My father had them when he was my age and had to get surgery, and he said it was not a big deal, so I’m not really worried. I do recommend that you get it checked out…You can probably delay the surgery for a while by getting alternative treatments (i.e. antibiotics). The other posters are correct in that they don’t go away on their own, ever.
–FCOD
*Giant_Spongess had pimple, it was right on her rear
She hoped if she ignored it that it would disappear
But when the morrow rolled around she was sittin’ kind of funny
She had a boil on her bottom and it threatened to get runny
Well, her ass bit back the very next day
she poked it with a needle and it started to spray
Her ass bit back, and much to her dismay
it spurted forth a mighty gush of putrid green and grey*
Bravo!
If you look at the stories on the cyst site, you will see that some have it lanced once and it does go away, but that is rare. Even surgery may be no cure, but the sooner you get attention, the less invasive the surgery.
I’m no fan of Rush Limbaugh, but if his cyst was a nasty as some of those on that site, it was totally legit not to go into the army with that.
Can you give us more detail on the oozing?
I keep coming back to this thread thinking the conversation has turned to Hello Kitty or quilting…but it’s still a putrification fest. Why, o why don’t I learn???
No, you’re only going to get posts like: