My “baby” (who will turn 7 in a couple months) doesn’t want to spend Halloween with me for the first time. He would rather go to his dad’s house and I’m sad about it.
I put on a happy face and told him that I wanted him to be happy and enjoy his Halloween and if he wanted to go to his Dad’s that I would miss him, but it was okay.
And I mean that, in a way….I have never made him choose between us or feel badly about spending time with his Dad. His Dad is a lying bastard but I have never indicated that to my son nor will I. He is his father…nothing I can ever do to change that. His relationship with my son will work itself out as he grows up and they will either have a good one or they won’t. But I won’t put my son in the position to have to choose between us or use him like so many parents do as a pawn or tool for revenge.
Honestly, part of me wants to yell out, “Oh, yeah??? Well can your Dad tell you what you dressed up as every single Halloween for the last 6 years? Can your Dad say he helped to pin up your lion tail because you kept tripping over it when you were 3? Did your Dad stand by patiently and help you get into your fireman’s costume and watch you bounce down the steps telling the terrified cats that you were going to rescue them from the trees? Did your Dad go to 5 different stores to get a Storm Trooper costume for you when NOBODY had one? Did your Dad help you practice saying ‘I’m Batman!’ over and over and over again till you thought it sounded just right?”
But I won’t. I’ll smile and give him a hug and tell him that it’s okay to spend Halloween with his Dad and that I’ll be fine.
Then I’ll cry like a baby when he’s gone.
My grandmother always said that having kids is like having your heart walking around outside of your body. Man, was she right.
I just wanted to say, you sound like a parent with their head screwed on straight. Sorry you are bummed out about Halloween, don’t take it personally. Perhaps you could enjoy a relaxing evening free of patching up costumes and such?
It’s not the end of the world and there are far greater things to be concerned about but I just feel I guess a slight twinge of jealousy (maybe?? I’m not sure what it is but it feels yucky).
A friend of mine told me that I should look at it from his Dad’s point of view that I get him almost 24/7 but that irritates me because his Dad could have had that too but chose not to.
No, I don’t want to punish him for the rest of his life…wait…yes I do…but I don’t want to punish my son and that is what I would be doing if I tried to prevent him from spending time with his Dad.
I still have tinest minon of Sauron to dress up (in the old lion costume…sniff…) so it’s not like I won’t be busy on Halloween but still…it sucks thinking about not having my first baby with me to Trick or Treat and go to the carnival…
Well, the first time I was going to spend Christmas away from my son, I thought I would die of sadness. He was like 14 or something. Anyway, he surprised me by showing up. It was the best christmas ever. YOur kid will probably really miss you.
Well it’s official. I told my baby last night that I had spoken with his Dad and that if he wanted to spend Halloween weekend with him that it was okay with me if that was what he wanted.
He said that is what he wanted.
BUT…my darling little angel then looked up at me and said, “Next year I’ll spend it with you Mom then maybe the next year with my Dad…that way I won’t miss either of you too much and you both can see my costumes.”
I’m still working on what day to take my two 7-year-olds to the Fair next week–Halloween has yet to appear on my planning horizon :eek:
Ah well, I always plan on handling all the holidays and special occasions by myself, anyways–their Mom means well, but reliability is not her strong point. This way, I know it will be covered, and, if their Mom gets her act together enough to participate (and she USUALLY does), that is a bonus.
If you get too sad, I can always lend you one of my two for Halloween
(back to pondering the Fair schedule–hmmm, how about monday…)
I’m not going to have my little RezMonkey with me this Halloween either. It’s the day his dad picks him up for his week so I won’t see the costume or take him around the neighborhood. I think if I asked Monkey’s dad I could go with them trick or treating but I’m afraid it would confuse him at the end of the night to have mom leave and dad stay (he’s only two). So, I’m going to dress up and go to a haunted house or something like that. Yeah, I feel like my heart is walking around on the outside of my body. Your grandmother was right, ** Aries28**!
I get to do this for Thanksgiving too. It’s technically my day but last year I had the Monkey for T-giving so I’m going to offer to let him stay with his dad’s family this year. I want him to build some memories of holidays with his other cousins and uncles too. Plus his grandmother adores him and didn’t get to see him last Thanksgiving.
You said it - I don’t know exactly what this feeling is but it’s yucky!
