This weekend we had a small picnic. One of my cousins who lives about three hours away came up and stayed at our house for the whole weekend. She has twins who are 8. Her kids and my kids are very close. My three year old daughter loves her son. When they got here Friday night, she hugged him and kissed him and wanted to play with him right away. Saturday all the kids played well together. My cousin, Carrie, loves kids. She was teasing my daughter, Emily, about taking her home with her. Saturday night we ordered pizza and let all the kids stay up late. Emily decided she wanted to go home with Carrie. We talked about it a little bit Sunday afternoon. Emily began obsessing about going home with Carrie and her family.
Carrie said she would take her for the week. She will be coming back up here this coming Friday for my sisters wedding. I tried to talk Emily out of it. She even had her clothes “packed”. She had a dress and a shirt and her baby doll. My husband and I talked it over and we decided to let her go. I packed her a weeks worth of clothes, and I cried. I put her clothes and pull-ups for night time in a back pack. She was already outside and ready to go. I put her car seat in Carrie’s truck. She jumped right up, and let me buckle her in. I kissed her and told her I would miss her. She told me she would be go and go potty.
The rest of Carrie’s family loaded up, I waved at Emily and said goodbye. She waved back at me, and I cried. I can’t believe my baby wanted to leave me. I told her I would call her every night. I know that she is in very good care, but I miss her a lot already. I have never been away from her for more than 4 days before, and that is when I was away for work. She has never been away from either my husband or me for this long. I told Carrie I would call and if they have any problems she can call me, I will go get her early if I need to. I hope that she has a good time and I know I shouldn’t want her to miss me, but deep down inside, I want her to miss me so I can go get her.
I feel your pain, misstee. I’ll never forget the first day I took then 2-year-old whiterabbit to nursery school, and at the end of a long hallway she spotted the room full of kids and toys at the other end and took off without a backward glance. <sniffle>
Be glad your daughter is secure enough that she’s looking forward to going away as an adventure, though. And good on you for letting her – kids who are independent at a young age seem to grow up to be far more self-assured and confident.
But oh my, when they go off to college or, worse yet, move out altogether…it never gets any easier!
I think you should be quite proud of raising such a secure and adventurous child. Many three year olds are rather securely fastened to their mothers’ apron strings. I’m confident that later in life you will reap many rewards for giving your daughter so much room to grow. It might be tough to be separated, but when it comes time to begin school, there’ll be no howling about being left behind with a bunch of strange kids.
i agree with Zenster
and if you need someone who can sympathize, you can talk to my mom about it. When she took me to my first day of nursery school, she walked me in and got me situated. Then, i turned to her and said “Okay, you can go now.”
years later she tells me this and then adds that she sat in the parking lot for an hour, crying.
but it comes back around. she’s comfortable doing her own thing, which means she’ll be comfortable enough around you to stay true to herself in years to come. i’m very close to my mom now, regardless of the fact that i brushed her off that first day of school.
I called her a little bit ago, she was getting ready for bed. She was excited that she was going to get to sleep with the twins.
I didn’t really talk to her a long time on the phone, she was anxious to go. Carrie said she was fine on the trip to their house and she pointed out all the McDonalds on the way.
I made it through the first night without here. This morning when we were getting dressed, my son asked me where she was because she wasn’t sitting at the table eating breakfast and she wasn’t in her room when he looked in for her.
Whole new wave of tears.
I am taking my older two kids to Adventureland today. I was originally only going to take my son for his birthday, just the two of us hanging out today, but since Emily is gone, my son asked if we could bring my other daughter so she wouldn’t be alone at the sitters today. He is a such a sweetheart.
I admire my kids. They have taught me a lot. I can’t imagine life without them.
My aunt doesn’t have a lot of disposable income so we decided to take my cousin (then about 7) to a Mariners game the first year they were playing at Safeco (knowing he would never be able to go there with his mom).
He packed EVERYTHING (including 4 pairs of shoes for a 2 night trip and a wetsuit he got from his grandparents ). But sure enough, on the way home he starts craying having not seen his mom in 3 days.
I made it through a whole day without talking to her, I can’t wait to call her this morning. Apparently she is having a good time. I told Carrie to call if she had any problems with her crying and missing us. I was gone all day yesterday and when I came home ( quiet late ) I asked my husband if she had called and she hadn’t. I also asked if he had called, and he said he didn’t even think about calling.
He must not miss her as much as I do.
I was always thrilled when my daughter wanted to go places and do things away from me. I see that as her steps towards independence, which is greatly to be encouraged. She went to sleepover camps 3 times, sleepovers with friends many times, sleepovers at Grandma’s, and several trips, on the plane alone, to visit my folks. We even left her overnight with a sitter when she was about a year old.
My husband and I always felt it was important that we have time just for us. We also wanted to encourage our daughter to have a life that didn’t revolve around us. We had a few clingy, tearful partings at daycare, but mostly, she’s done great.
In May, she’ll graduate from high school and move into her own apartment by her college. Then I’ll be the one going away - moving 800 miles north. I’ll miss her, and I’ll worry about her, but I know she’s well-equipped to live on her own, and it all started when we gave her independence when she was little.
I started going away to summer camp when I was 7 (for a month). I don’t recall ever missing my parents in the least (and they are nice parents who surely missed me). I wrote home only practically under gunpoint, and then I generally asked after the cat. By the time I was 9 I spent the whole summer (8 weeks) at camp and from then on I never spent another summer home except after my freshman year of college!
Based on this thread I’m sure I caused my parents no end of heartache…
I called her this morning, she was doing fine. Once yesterday she cried, not for me, but because she was hurt. She was climbing up on the “big” potty and fell off. She hit her face on the heat vent. She only said once she wanted me. When she was done crying, Carrie asked her if she wanted to call me, she did not. I am glad she is having a good time.
Thanks to everyone for making me feel better about raising an independent child. I know missing her is ok, but I am excited that she is able to be without me. I am going to try to call her again later. I tried calling her around 8:00pm, but no one was home.
Misstee, honey, it isn’t that your husband doesn’t miss her as much as you do. It’s a guy thing. Men don’t ‘miss’ you when you’re not there, they hold it in to tell you how much they missed you once you’re back.
My Dad did it when I was a kid, my husband did it when I was married, my SO does it now. Nah, they don’t wanna call, they don’t need to talk, as long as there’s no problems that need solving, it’s OK.
I almost went and got her yesterday, but I resisted temptation.
When I called she was doing fine, we talked a little bit. She was so into playing with different toys and being the center of attention, she doesn’t mind being away from home.
She told me that she has lots of things to bring home. She has been helping Carrie pick things out of the garden, and yesterday she got to “help” make homemade spaghetti sauce.
I will call her this morning, and probably again tonight.
That’s great. China Bambina, aged 3, whines every day about going to nurshery school, and then whines that she doesn’t want to leave every time when we pick her up. go figure.
I called this morning, and she was still asleep at 9:00 am! My cousin and her husband played with her last night, they were teasing her and in general having a good time with her. They let her stay up late and eat ice cream. I am going to call her again in about half an hour.
). But sure enough, on the way home he starts craying having not seen his mom in 3 days.