Thank you for your kind words.
Little hijack, Will, hope you don’t mind. Love the handle, by the way. One of my favorite books.
austen, hey, me too! Had to dump a friend a few years ago. We would replay the same script over and over; I got tired of being her punching bag and said goodbye.
The Script:
Her: So I’m dating this guy who used to be in jail, is married, but his estranged pregnant wife has a restraining order against him and he works at a car wash. Do you think he’s right for me?
Me: No, I don’t. Doesn’t any of his history make you nervous?
Her: Damn it you never support me in anything! Why can’t you just be happy for me! <stomps off angrily>
Two weeks later, the phone rings.
Her: Hi, it’s me. What’s up?
Me: Um, nothing. What’s going on with you?
And we’d go on from there like nothing ever happened. I finally got tired of the script, called her on it, she got pissed, waited two weeks and got my answering machine. Never again.
I have a really, REALLY bad feeling about this…
I lost my best friend from high school when we started college. That was about the time I was diagnosed as Obsessive Compulsive and being treated for depression. She was extremely immature about it, blabbing about it to everyone she knew.
She and her mother never understood WHY that would upset me.
Being dumped by anybody sucks. Sorry to hear it!
BUT, any friend who would “dump” you wasn’t a good friend, anyway!
She was the best.
It really hurts to lose a friend, even if you understand why they opted out of the friendship.
Sending prayers and hugs and best wishes your way.
Much Love,
Cheri
I know exactly how you feel. I recently lost my best friend of 23 years because of a mistake I made. I am lost without her.
This is depressing. I kinda “lost” my best friend from high school. We had gotten very close and did so much together, it was great.
Then he had sex with my girlfriend. Then he went through these fits of depression. Then he found God and told all of us we were sinners and going to Hell. Then he had more fits of depression. Now he recently got an awful new girlfriend who is a tremendous bitch who refuses to even talk to the rest of us, and whom he has gotten pregnant. A few weeks ago he up and quit his job for no reason at all, stating “I have plenty of money.”
Needless to say, we’ve all given up on him. But I’m really not sorry about it.
This brings up an interesting question: Should you remain friends with people when you feel that you no longer have a ‘connection’ with them? The OP suggests that there was an event or situation that precipitated the split. What should you do when you feel that the bond that you have with someone becomes tenous and just sort of evaporates?
Which brings up another interesting question, if a friendship is “lifelong” how big a mistake does it take to end it? In my case I stupidly had a one night stand with my best friends ex (ex by more then 2 years) and I immediately admitted my “crime”. She feels this is a HUGE crime , I obviously disagree. Am I unreasonable? Is she?
Shit it hurts to lose someone you love over something like this.
Well, here is my take on that situation. Which has no bearing whatsoever on YOURS, since it doesn’t matter how I feel…what matters is how SHE feels. But here I go anyway.
If she SAID to you…at ANY TIME…don’t EVER mess around with any of my ex-lovers…then you violated a trust.
If she DIDN’T ever say that, then I think that after two years she is being unreasonable. If you had done it a few MONTHS after they broke up, I might feel differently…but still, if she never told you NOT to, a case might be made that you did nothing wrong even if it had been a few WEEKS after they broke up.
Of course, I personally would feel that you should have had more sensitivity…had it been a few weeks or six months after they broke up. Two years, with no blanket “DON’T DO IT!” caveat? I think she is being unreasonable.
JMHO.
I’m sorry this happened, and I am sending my best thoughts and prayers your way. I lost one of my best friends in the fall, ( he died, but still…it is kind of the same if they never want to talk to you again, they might as WELL be dead…) and I know how much it hurts to lose someone you love.
Best hugs.
I would say that once the connection is gone or the bond evaporates, the friendship is over. The hardest thing is when the bond evaporates and then comes back, over and over. In that situation, it’s probably better to be honest and end it than to keep your friend constantly wondering where they stand.
-M
Thanks for the kind words Scotticher . No she had never said “don’t!” but like you said it’s about how she feels and I can’t change her feelings. It just hurts loosing a friend of 23 years over something like this .