My Borg-O-Lantern is not for ripping apart you bastard

It started as The Pumpkinator - You know, living squash over metal endo-skeleton. But it didn’t really look Pumpkinator-eske at the end of the day.

A few tubes and glowing items and you get the Borg-O-Lantern.


It looked pretty good until the 8th trick or treater came to the door. Three teen boys. I was sitting inside my open door, in the dark, pumping out fog from the fog machine. I watched them sneak up to the house across the street and swipe their pumpkin, the woman who lived there caught them. After the woman stopped yelling and went back inside they came over to my house. They couldn’t see me where I was sitting and I watched one boy start ripping the glowing tubes out of the Borg-o-lantern. I took one step forward out of this fog haze and scared the crap out of them.

“Trick or Trea…”

“Hey! Did you just pull those out?”

“Uhhh. No?”

He tries to drop the one in his hand behind him.

“NOTHING FOR YOU. FUCK OFF!”

They turn to walk away.

One of them says something under his breath

“WHAT DID YOU SAY YOU LITTLE FUCK?”

“Did he just call us fucks?”

“YES I JUST CALLED YOU FUCKS!”

At that point I flew out of my doorway, jumped over the planter and down on the driveway

“COME HERE YOU LITTLE FUCKERS!”

I’ve never seen three teen boys run 55 miles per hour before. I think I even heard one of them shit his pants.
So, I guess to answer that asshats question. TRICK!

…ON YOU!

Little bastards.

I used to love halloween until I moved to this area. Right now the whole area looks like a halloween warzone. Pumpkins smashed in the streets. Political signs ripped up everywhere. Fucking stupid bored youth.

Great balls of fire, Seven . . .

That’s one fucking fine pumpkin.

Assimilate this!

Well, my house just got egged. The thing is, I don’t think it was the same kids.

I flew out of the house but I couldn’t tell which way they went. I got in my car and drove around. I ran across several groups of teens (none of them my three) and they ALL look up to no good.

While driving around the blocks I passed several of the same cars 4 or 5 times. They were driving around realy slow looking for people as well.

So, I’m not thinking its related. I think its one of the other groups of kids.

Fuckers.

The only thing. Say those three fucks come back, and I catch them. Then what? I can’t really beat the shit out of them, I can’t hold them or make them clean my window. There really isn’t much I can do. I didn’t see the ones who threw the eggs so I can’t ID them. I’m not going to bother the cops about something like this.

I wish I wasn’t so tired tonight. I’d sit up on my roof with a dozen eggs or some canned, whole, stewed tomatos and fire back.

Isn’t it worth being tired tomorrow? Seriously, I’d go up there and launch away.

Heh. Am I the only one who visualized this scenario taking place without the use of a can opener?

Although I don’t think it’ll do much good, I apologize on behalf of all teenagers. We’re not all bad, really. Just we have this weird idea (and I mean a general we) that Halloween is only for kids to have fun in. The only way an older, “mature” person can have fun is at the expense of others.

My idea? In every town, the high school should organize some sort of dance for the students to attend on Halloween night. The catch is, they specifically tell students that they shouldn’t come and that they would likely get in trouble if they came to the party (through their actions, I mean). Every student that would cause harm on Halloween would show up just to see what was going on. It should keep them off the streets for at least an hour.

This happened to my grandfather once, he got home from work and the kids didn’t see him park on the side of the house. So he took thier bikes and said that their parents could come pick them up.

A few of them were in tears.

What a great Pit OP! And a great Borg-O-Lantern to boot! :smiley:

First of all, Seven, you rock.

Second, so does the Borg-O-Lantern.

Third, goddamn, man! Can you say “ruining it for everyone”? A few more stunts like this and your community is probably going to ban trick-or-treating. Then all the little kiddiewinks who haven’t done anything wrong will be heartbroken…and maybe even end up pulling shit like this when they’re teenagers, because they were denied an outlet when they were young.

Pussies. They let your neighbor scare them off, but of course it didn’t add up to them that they shouldn’t pull this shit; they still had to meet their quota. Next year, maybe dress up as Leatherface? Complete with chainless saw? BRRRRRRMMMMMMMM… “AAAAAAAAAAAAA!”

I just wanted to let you know that my husband (who is playing Doom 3 next to me) and I both think the Borg O’Lantern is really cool.

And I agree that self-help is really all that’s available in such cases, and it’s probably worth a little tiredness.

Eggs? Stewed tomatos? I’d go with one of those giant Super Soakers, filled with a liquid of your choice. :wink:

Black commando jumpsuit, boots, night vision. Super Soaker, painted flat black, filled with rose perfume, patchouli oil and fox urine.

Maple syrup? Ink? Lemon juice, and go for the eyes?

I think Ink is a must in the mix.

Nothing like making these bastard kids have to explain to their parents why their new winter jacket is covered in stink and ink.

A non-lethal missile in a spud gun is pretty impressive at night. Aqua-Net hairspray delivers about a 2’ yellow-blue flame with a satisfying bang. :smiley: That should help ensure trouser-soiling!