I wake up this morning and go through the usual waking-up-on-a-workday routine. My carpool arrives, and I’m ready to head out the door, when I realize there’s a snag in the chain of events–I’ve no idea where my glasses are. Clearly I took them off at some point last night. Generally, they land on top of the dusty television, next to the right-hand Argonath bookend that, er, bookends the el cheapo center speaker of the el cheapo Pro Logic sound system.
Short story longer than it needed to be, I found them after a couple minutes of methodically working through all the places I could have conceivably put them down, and sure enough, they were in one of those places. Clearly, with my brain now losing plasticity, it’s elected to conserve energy by refusing to remember smaller things in favor of bafflement when things aren’t in a locked-in pattern. I figure the next trick will be generating signals indicating that music was better in the old days, engaging the auditory centers only to the point of hearing new music as noise, and so forth.
On the bright side, all the energy that these handy shortcuts is going to save for me will enable me to tirelessly shake my cane threateningly at those damn hooligan whippersnappers who’ll be exercising their robot dogs on their hoverboards while cutting through my lawn.