I am under (several) doctors care. I am taking my medication. I see my workers regularly. I am not being non compliant. I’m doing what I am supposed to. GRRRRRR
I’m getting loud and distracted and I can see people looking at me funny. This afternoons student’s behaviour was atrocious and I don’t know if he was getting “vibes” off of me or what. My thoughts are racing and I am getting agitated. You have no idea the amount of effort I’m putting in to making sure my grammar and spelling and shit is making sense (you know my job and all professional pride). This is stupid I’m doing everything I am supposed to.
If this goes on much longer I will be calling the after-hours line.
I used to enjoy the highs. Since my assault I am too afraid. One of the symptoms I get is hyper arousal which led to the assault.
At present I am making myself stop every couple of minutes too do breathing exercises.
Shit. Twice in two weeks is really too much. Going up is one thing - going down is a whole nother exhausted crash burn type thing. I know being self aware is great and all but sometimes I wish for some obliviousness. Self aware means I am still in control so stick with that thanks.
Anyway why am I here - suggestions, bunnies, kittens. mine are asleep at the moment - well the kitties are - the bunny is devouring a pile of grass and green the approximate size of himself.
So if you have any calming suggestions / failing that bunnies or kitties - post away