So I’ve been pretty deep in a depression cycle lately. Its been bad enough that my SO has been begging me to get help. This afternoon I’m feeling extra energy, jittery, restless, lack of focus and all that fun stuff that could very well signal the beginning of a manic cycle. The combo of being energetic and feeling that I can do anything along with the terror of what I could get myself into is really pissing me off. I’m not very good at controlling my symptoms in either phase so I’m asking here what people do to keep it together.
I’m not currently in treatment but am looking at therapists so hoping for some short term coping mechanisms to keep it together.
I’ll probably be posting again soon for some advice in finding a good therapist because I really need to get some professional help soon.
You do need professional help, to diagnose your issue at the very least. You may be bipolar, you may not be. But you need to get it figured out because, if you’re bipolar, you HAVE to get on medication. And you have to stay on it all the time–even when you feel ok, you can never stop taking it. Short-term coping mechanisms do not work when your perception is skewed, like it is with bipolarity and schizophrenia. For those conditions, medication is absolutely required to treat the issue.
Of course, if you’re *not *bipolar a doctor can still advise you how to treat/cope with whatever’s going on. Best of luck. IANAD and this advice is worth what you paid for it. <3
I know I do. What I need at this moment is to keep it together right now. At least with thanksgiving coming I can try and channel this into cleaning and at the worst cooking way too much food. Much better than my idea on the drive home of going to Vegas. It’s only a 4 hour drive.
Also try reading some books on act acceptance and commitment therapy. Do lots of exercise and maintain a daily routine, eg go to sleep and get up the same time each day, try to avoid staying up all night. There are people with mild forms of bipolar that can manage it without meds using diet, a routine, exercise and meditation, you may be one of them but you need a pro assessment to work that out.
Exercise. That’s a great idea. Routine ill try and keep it. Right now I’m trying to slow down my speech a bit, it seems I’m talking very fast. Sitting down to eat and calming myself a bit. It’s almost like being on a sugar rush right now though it isn’t.
OK, one other thing, give your credit card to someone you trust and tell them NOT to give it back to you for a while. Don’t drink coffee and avoid alcohol while you are in this phase, they will both make things worse.
I use long cycle rides as one method (30-50km), I just let all the thoughts stream through me freely while I ride watching the world go by, but don’t act on any of them, just go “ok thats a cool idea, I’ll see if its still cool in 3 days time” and let it float by. Keep riding until your mind calms.
Staying off Steam is probably a good idea too. Thank you for the ideas. I think I’ll work on cleaning the house and if that isn’t cutting it ill head to the park in the morning for a couple hour walk.
I’m not usually this hyper feeling. I think it’s just a little jarring to feel myself moving from a long depression into this so suddenly. Plus I’ve been working toward getting myself into professional care lately. I really should have years ago. I used to think this was fun and I can handle it but he depression is getting longer and I’m getting too old and this rollarcoaster is really wearing on me. Good grief I just meant to say thanks for the ideas.
Good luck regardless. One other suggestion, Omega 3 fatty acids / fish oil. Take a large dose, 3 times a day. Takes around 2 weeks to start working but it does have an effect and recent studies are confirming this.
So far so good. I was starting on cleaning and figured since I was cleaning that repainting the house sounded good. And if I was doing that anyway, it’s time to redecorate. We need a new mattress anyway, so a new bed would be great. And if I’m doing the bedroom, might as well get new living room furniture. Fortunately, my SO was here to talk me out of all that. Now he’s watching Luche Libre wrestling and I figured to understand it better we should learn spanish and if we’re doing that we should tackle french as well.
At least I’m not acting on most of it. I’m forcing myself to stick with getting the house clean. Repainting still sounds good though.
I’m going to ditto sticking to a regular sleep/wake routine, a lot of structure and a lot of exercise. The site that coremelt linked to has a TON of fact-based info. The site design is very outdated, but don’t let that turn you off. Good stuff. As is all of coremelt’s advice.
It’s good that you’re able to recognize the flood of ideas without acting on them, and stick to a productive task that can be reasonably accomplished (though maybe not in my house). It’s also good that you acknowledge that you need help. It seems that the cycling can get worse as we age, with deeper lows and more extreme highs - by that I mean agitation, grandiosity and lack of impulse control, etc. For me it’s only epic irritability.
If you can manage the combination of a psychiatrist for med management and a psychologist for coping strategies, that might be optimal. It’s hard on your partner to have to be the reality check all the time, and getting some professional help could help ease that a bit, too.
Thanks. Scrubbing the bathroom helped out a lot, plus it really needed it. I was dripping sweat and it really helped burn off some of the excess energy. My mind is still racing but at least I’m not shaking with energy anymore.
And yes, the cycles have been getting worse. This last depression was very drawn out and about the worst I’ve gone through. My SO said to me today that he doesn’t know which phase is worse, but at least on the upswings he can stand to be around me. I know it’s no substitute for professional help, but I really appreciate all the replies here. It’s awesome to have people to bounce things off of.
This, I think, is primarily why a lot of bipolar folks end up getting help. Their swings irritate the people around them far more than themselves. Not to call him out or anything, but I’ve seen some posts from Inigo Montoya about how good manic phases can feel (and not being bipolar myself, I can’t speak to that). At the same time, the grandiosity seems very pompous and completely unrealistic to your friends and family. It’s very disconcerting to never know which “you” they’re going to deal with today, too. Is it going to be flighty fun you, or mopey self-destructive you?
I have an aunt and had a grandmother with bipolar disorder, so this is all anecdotal of course. ymmv
Mania is fairly easy to keep in check as long as you accept the fact you are insane and cannot be trusted to think/act outside of certain parameters. Learn your limits, and challenge them only with guidance of a trusted friend. Depression is more difficult because it’s far easier to believe you are a burden than to believe you are supernaturally awesome.
Part of me is laughing with you about this. The other half is thinking about the mostly disassembled sportscar in the garage that just needed a new clutch.
Good luck to you, Antinor01. Get to the doc while you’re having symptoms. Otherwise you’ll be out of the moment and you’ll push it way down on the priorities list. Until next time when you’re on a desperate quest for valium and/or vodka (or whatever else it is you do to cope).
Thanks Inigo. I’m checking out doctors in the area now. I’ve been careful not to start any… Lets call them projects without running it by someone else first.
I’m really tired of being this way. Not being able to trust my own mind when my intelligence is what I’ve always relied on is terrifying.
Instead of the grand plans phase, I get heightened anxiety. I can’t always trust my judgement on what is really worth stressing about and what is just my freakitude (driving at night OMG I’m going to die!). It kind of wrecks your sense of self when you can’t depend on what’s in your head.