My cat just swallowed my engagement ring. fast help please

[Waxwinged]

@flatlined

Yes, my idiot cat swallowed my ring. I saw him do it. I have laminate floors so I would have heard it if it had hit the floor. I looked all around for it, my floors are clean and he was on the table in the middle of the dining room.

He is the reason I can’t leave foil out, he chews it. He’s been known to bite holes in beer cans.

I called my vet, who said that I should watch for output. If idiot cat doesn’t poop in a day, idiot cat will get very expensive surgery. He’s working on his 3rd or 4th life. His name is Lucky. He showed up on my doorstep, declawed and bullet fragments in his face. He had lived like that for months, on mean Arizona streets.

The ring is important. Lucky is more important.

edited for spelling. idiot cat isn’t doing anything now. PUKE you idiot cat!!!

Why is it that the most idiot/antisocial animals are the ones to capture our hearts and wallets?

[lieu]

Okay, what are the 5 Cs you’re suppossed to check a ring for… cut, color, clarity, crap and carat?

[flatlined]

@t-bonham@scc.net

You can respond that you only decided to actually go through with the marriage after your cat thoroughly checked him out, including evaluating his engagement ring through a lengthy internal process.

I love it! I’m going to email my sweet baboo the link to this page. He will totally crack up

@Magiver

It would only be logical to use the cat as your ring bearer in the wedding.

Idiot cat already has experience carrying it around…

@KinkiNipponTourist

Your fiance sounds sweet, your idiot cat sounds adorable, and you sound like a very cool person yourself!

I noticed you just joined. Welcome to the Straight Dope!

Thank you SO much. I’ve lurked for a long time and finally took the plunge. This is a great place

@Lynn_Bodoni

And the cat WILL hork just at that moment. Because that’s what cats do.

You are SO right. It would be one of those dramatic horks, too. With cat backing up to make the maximum mess.

@Waxwinged

Why is it that the most idiot/antisocial animals are the ones to capture our hearts and wallets?

I think I have a tattoo on my forehead…that only animals can see. It says SUCKER!!!

@lieu

Okay, what are the 5 Cs you’re suppossed to check a ring for… cut, color, clarity, crap and carat?

Cracking up

[Mikkel]

@Lynn_Bodoni

With a dog, you just have to call them, and they usually come running. With a cat…my cats usually come when I call them. Usually. But I wouldn’t want to count on it. I could only rely on them responding if there was tuna juice involved. So you’re gonna need someone to keep the cat quiet and happy until the ring is called for, and then the cat wrangler will have to bring the cat up to the altar. And the cat WILL hork just at that moment. Because that’s what cats do.

The cat wrangler could use a laser pointer at the right time. Most cats will follow that red spot anywhere.
I would be scared Lucky would eat the ring again. Postponing the wedding to wait for a cat’s digestion would be a bit embarrassing.