My cat was bitch-slapped yesterday

I have two female cats, both 6 years old. One is as playful as a kitten, and the other is a real bitch, easily annoyed. Yesterday, Bitch was playing in a 30-gallon paper leaf bag on the kitchen floor and Kitten was batting around the outside of it. Suddenly, Kitten leaped off the windowsill onto the bag. Bitch shot out of the bag, ears back, obviously pissed at being jumped on.

Then she turned around almost casually, with her ears still back, and walked up to Kitten, lifted her front paw, and bitch-slapped her.

I’ve never laughed so hard in my life.

My dog bitch-slapped me once. I didn’t want to throw the ball anymore, and she came up and smacked me right across the face. She got punished but I couldn’t help laughing at her.

ROTFLMAO!!! I miss having kitties for exactly this reason.

I’ve had a roommate with two big cats with attitude. One day they were walking companionably together when one spots some turkey that had been tossed outside for them. Without breaking stride, it sucker punched its buddy in the side of the head, thereby establishing sole claim on the treat.

Who was it who said that if you want to know everything about the human condition, you should get two cats?

OMG, I can see that in my head. Too funny.

My baby boy has been getting used to living in a house with his sister-since-adoption-four-years-ago, but also with my parents’ three cats. The two older boys have gotten used to him, but my fifteen-year-old girl hates him. And until a few days ago, he’s been afraid of her enough to leave her alone. Apparently, that ended last night.

I was holding him last night in the living room where Izzy was asleep on the floor. Oscar wanted to get down, so I set him down on the floor, and the next thing I know, I see a giant ball of black fur jump two feet in the air and come smack down on Izzy’s rear-end. So I hear the mother of all screams come from Izzy, she whips around (and for a 20 lb, 15 year-old arthritic cat, she moved pretty damn fast), and I see a paw reach out and just about knock the whiskers off of Oscar’s face. So of course, Oscar makes a run to the other end of the room and gives me the “Mom, what’d I do? I was just trying to play!” look.

I can’t wait to move out with my two. Being around older cats is turning Oscar into the feline equivalent of a two-year-old.

Ava

One time I was out of town and my Mom was cat sitting. My cat was sitting on the sofa with her and stuck her paw in Mom’s coffee. Mom lightly popped her on the nose followed by a stern, “No!” Kitty then proceeded to turn around and hit Mom back. That had to be five years ago, but Mom still laughs about it today!

My cat used to Bitch Slap the ex-wife’s English Bulldog on a regular basis. Hilarious. He has a VERY strong left hook.

Back in high school, my friends had a rasty-@ss old tomcat named Rubio. This sucker was surly as He|| and played for keeps. One morning he dragged in the carcass of a raccoon, and it wasn’t road kill either [insert wide eyed smilie >here<]! Since he was such a gnarly b@stard it was hard to tell if he was worse for wear, but the coon was most definitely dead.

Anyway, if you happened to accidentally step on his tail, he wouldn’t yowl or skitter off, he’d just whip around and clamp his teeth down on whatever part of your leg or foot was still available. It was impossible not to respect this cat’s sort of in-your-face attitude.

I lovvvvvvvvvvvvvvveeeee kitties! :slight_smile:

They are so funny and cute. :slight_smile:

The matriarch of my cat clan uses tghe bitch slap to keep the rest in line. She wants them to know her place in the scheme of things. Which is the boss of all the rest.

I don’t know why, but this episode has me howling. The image is totally hilarious. Thanks for sharing.

Anything with the phrase “bitch slap” in it has me rolling!

When my brother and his cat were living here, my big kitty would half-heartedly play with Sid, my brother’s cat for a while. Then, when Sid got a little too rambunctious, Tom would “quell” him, by putting a paw on top of his head and just looking at him. Almost like saying, “Down, boy. That’s enough.” Cracked us up.

The younger of my two cats initially lived with my sister. He had done something naughty and she was scolding him when he reached out and bitch slapped her across the face. There was a pause, during which his expression went from smug to :eek: before he took off across the floor with her hot on his heels.

:smiley: I only wish I’d been there to see it. (And, btw, he’s never tried it with me. He loves me!)

A few years back I had two cats, and one was a whiner. The older one (male BTW) apparently got tired of listening to the female whine and cry. He pushed her over, and then put his paw on her head as if to say STFU now kthx.

My little black kitty, before she was full-grown, was fond of trying to gnaw on my hands whenever I was at the computer. She was at it once when I told her “no” and went back to typing. She stopped for a minute then went right back to it. I put my fingers on her little muzzle, holding it closed for a second and repeated a firm “no”. She got up and started to walk across the desk. When she got to the edge she did a lightning-quick 180, dashed back to me and whacked my head with her forepaw then scampered off. I laughed like a maniac, it was so funny.

I don’t have cats myself…but have any cat lovers here seen Catboxing? Videos of pets that, ahm, do not play well with others.

Take a look at Bootsy vs. Nova, rounds 1-7. Nothing bloody, just ambushes and brawling. And a couple of great bitchslaps… :smiley:

I just popped on to say when I saw your screen name DeadlyAccurate, I immediately thought of Cecil’s latest column which I just read. “Ga-ross.”

Yeah, it’s funny when cats do it to one another, but I was once petting a 100+ pound dog at a house party and when I stopped the petting he put his paw on my head and looked at me.

Petting continued until he left.

We used to have a big male cat and a tiny female cat. She’d spring out of nowhere and attack him, he’d give chase, she’d run through the carpeted living room and into the lino floored kitchen, around the hardwood dining room, and back into the living room. He’d run through the carpeted living room and spin out in the kitchen, unable to control his momentum. We’d hear some skittering as he tried to get purchase with his claws and then a pathetic furry thump as he slammed into the cupboards.

I never got to see it, but just hearing it made me laugh.