My cooking experience 4/16/2001

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

I feel compelled to point out that in general, I’m a very good cook. Inventive, creative, etc. Often making up recipes from scratch, own more than 2.3 spices etc.

Now, last night, the day after Easter, for some reason I was thinking “hard boiled eggs. yep, that sounds good”. Problem is my son is now nearly 17 and we didn’t color Easter Eggs this year (his obsession with dye now seems to remain with his hair these days). So, I thought, we’ve got a dozen and a half eggs around, I’ll boil up about 8 and we’ll have hard boiled eggs available (always a good thing).

So, messing around in the kitchen, I set the eggs on to boil, proceed to fix myself a quick snack etc. Son’s a bit tired heads off for a nap, I head on to relax in the living room.

Gee, isn’t that new, highly touted show The Weakest Link about to start? yes! Advertised as a cross between Who Wants to be a Millionaire and Survivor, it’s sure to be great (note - I never have seen the attraction to the aforementioned two shows - never have watched either in it’s entirety). Hmmm, hokey music at specific times, check. Idiots playing the game, check. Painfully stupid questions, check. Yep, it stinks.

I hear a noise from the kitchen. Now in a farm house with a teen, three cats and (well, we don’t like to mention the other inhabitants), odd noises are common and best left unquestioned. Gee, this show’s stupid. Channel surfing all over the place.

What’s that smell? Now that gets my full attention. Then I hear another noise from the kitchen - a kindof a popping noise, same as before. Only this time, a mental image has appeared… pot of boiling water, eggs… ** DAMMIT**

As a corollary to Scylla’s thread about not opening up 8 month old hard boiled eggs, it should also be noted that to boil an egg until it explodes is also not a nice smell.

2

That sounds so much like my afternoon with a stovetop perculator, except in my case, I fell asleep while channel surfing.

So, does a hard boiled egg make a big explosion or a small one? I have experience with both kinds.

3

to me, it sounded a great deal like the sound those 2 liter pop bottles make when they’re sealed yet empty. It was loud enough for me to hear over son’s noise and the tv, from across the house.

sadly, this isn’t my first experience with blowing up eggs. In 1974, I was taking a final exam in a stats class, the prof and said ‘no one can leave the room til all are finished’. So, I’d finished, and was sitting there, daydreaming, as one does… flowers, life, love, my room…where I’d left some eggs boiling before I left for the exam… Yikes! raised my hand, the prof came 'round “I just remembered I left some eggs boiling at home”. He let me leave, I ran all the way back, could smell the problem from the hallway, opened my room (dorm) to discover tons of smoke, interesting bits of egg distributed around the room.

sigh. I usually am a quick learner.

4

You have the weakest eggs.Goodbye.