Use your imagination.
That’s the problem :eek:
As Alias said, she’s worried about is her kid having really fragile self-esteem at an early age, and she doesn’t want to enable that. That’s the issue, not leg hair. We have no idea if there’s really a leg hair issue or not, so I don’t think you’re right to say she needs to make a change in her appearance; all we know is that she feels that way.
As far as nicks go… what do the women here shave with? I’ve seen some of these safety leg razors and I can’t imagine how you’d hurt yourself with them. If you let the kid shave her leg and use one of those I don’t see the harm.
The other thing is that second graders don’t need to grow up that fast. Second graders who shave are going to be plucking eyebrows in 3rd grade and having Brazillians in sixth grade. Yeah, its a slippery slope, but kids grow into adolences too fast (and then stay there too long). There is no reason a second grade needs to think of herself as a woman. Give into this, and you may have a fifth grader looking like a streetwalker in too much makeup, a short skirt and a cropped shirt - well before she is old enough to understand the reaction that causes - because “MOMMMMMM! Everyone else’s Mom lets them out of the house looking like Courtney Love!”
While you certainly make sense here, I don’t know if it really applies to this situation – drinking a beer and driving a car [as well as most other things that adults can do that children cannot] have repercussions and responsbility that we’ve deemed unfit for children to deal with.
I don’t know that using a depil or shaver really requires such responsbility that it’s the realm of adults. And how can she be too young at 8, but not at 10 or 12?
See what I’m saying?
Maybe you could let her shave to the knees (with an electric razor) for special occasions as a compromise?
I don’t get that.
Either let her, or don’t let her. Telling her she can only shave halfway is just mean.
I agree with those who say the razor isn’t THAT dangerous… if you show her how to do it and she doesn’t just swipe it.
I swiped my mom’s, and figured it out without slicing up my legs. A friend of mine also swiped a razor to shave her legs the first time, and wound up with a bunch of horizontal cuts and blood everywhere. :smack: It’s not that difficult, but she’s GOING to try it sometime, whether it’s one of yours, or one a friend gives her, or one she buys at the drugstore, if she’s determined.
She might very well do it for a while, then get bored with it and forget repeatedly until it becomes a nonissue. If you don’t want to try that, you could also try the “special occasions” route. But just putting your foot down completely won’t keep her from wanting to do it.
I think it’s very possible to bolster her self-esteem, keep her from going down a slippery slope to teenage whoredom, and still let her try shaving her legs if she wants to. I’m not a parent, though.
It’s threads like these that make me happy that I’m:
a) almost totally hairless - I shave to the knee about once a week and even that’s over doing it
and
b) not a parent.
However, FWIW, as a hairless non-parent, I think letting an 8 year old* shave is totally absurd. If she doesn’t want to wear shorts, then she doesn’t need to wear shorts. Furthermore, even “sensitive” formulas of Nair and Neet and whatnot can leave a chemical burn. Sadly, I’m speaking from experience here. Obviously, YMMV.
*Assuming she hasn’t actually started puberty and has breasts and her period and stuff.
I was allowed to shave at 7, FWIW. Same problems, I was self-conscious. My mom figured if it was bugging me, I could do away with it.
But then I was a very hairy child and I am now a hairy adult, so cum grano salis and all that.
I see no problem with her shaving her legs, particularly with an electric shaver. I swiped my mom’s razor when I wanted to start shaving and managed to hack myself up pretty well. An electric shaver is a good way to start.
Have to agree that it’s completely possible to get a nasty chemical burn with the most sensitive of depilatories, I cut myself more often with a so-called safety razor than with a three blade Venus Divine, and that loofah-looking torture device that Conair released is horrendous. It is not easy, effective or painless and quickly saw the inside of my trash can.
I know you don’t want her to grow up too soon, but again, I don’t see how shaving in particular can harm her self-esteem. An adult telling her there is no need sounds great in theory, but the taunting of her peers is much more likely to have a lasting effect.
I believe I was 9 or 10 when my mom let me get an electric razor. I turned out just fine. I wouldn’t let her use Nair or something like that though, I have 20 year old friends who still hurt themselves with that! 
And with the arm hair thing: I use Nair every couple of months and shave maybe once a month. So yes, plenty of women do shave their arms.I like the smooth feeling, but I think it looks strange on others sometimes (example, this girl at subway was making my sammich and she had really long, really dark, really abundant arm hair. It just grossed me out…what if it fell in my sammich? Ick).
No, it would be mean if I just let her shave one leg.
Sorry I haven’t replied sooner. I had no idea there were so many responses on the thread! In response to Askance, yes, I do shave my legs, but not with any regularity. Besides, this isn’t even completely about leg hair. I’m very concerned about her self-esteem. I don’t want her to feel like she needs to remove the hair on her legs in order to fit in. She is a very intelligent, fun, sweet child. I don’t want her to feel inadequate because of fuzz, and yes, it is just little girl fuzz.
Thanks!
I wish I had good advice, but I don’t. I don’t have any kids and I haven’t dealt with this issue.
But I agree that the important thing here is giving your little girl some self-esteem, a little backbone, a thicker skin–whatever you want to call it.
When I worked in an elementary school, I really admired the little kids who could spring back resiliently from insult. There was one little boy who had been called a “goofball” by the other boys, and instead of getting upset, he twirled around in circles saying “I’m a goofball, I’m a goofball!” He was a very happy and smart kid. His mom worked in the cafeteria, and I suspect that was a symptom of their strong family togetherness and that he drew confidence from it.
I was just reading the thread about acting silly with your kids, and I think maybe that’s the way to go. Just make her see how absolutely ridiculous it is for anyone to say that her legs are particularly hairy. Are her legs hairier than her arms? Then should she shave her arms, too? Should she dye her hair the same color as the popular kid? Should you put her in a stretching machine at night so she can be taller? I mean really.
People say stupid things. I say buck her up now, 'cause if she’s going to stay this vulnerable, she’s going to have endless trouble with bad boyfriends manipulating her, e. g. “You’re too uptight. No guy wants to date such an uptight girl. I’m going to leave you if you don’t drop your inhibitions and [insert disgusting act] me.”
My arms are still hairy; I’ve never felt the need to shave them. I can get away with shaving from the knees down every other day; the hair on my thighs is much lighter and finer, and it’s very slow-growing.
I started shaving in the 6th grade with an electric razor after a classmate repeatedly made comments in front of large groups of kids about the hair on my legs. She continued hassling me into junior high, constantly asking whether or not I shaved my legs.
Just the other day, I had this same conversation with my child.
My 14 year old SON, that is. :eek:
Seems he is quite embarassed about his hairy legs. Doesn’t want to wear shorts this summer, with tempuratures reaching well into the 100’s for at least 90 days in a row, usually. Actually told me that he wishes to shave his legs, as well. He says “I have more hair on my body than the other boys my age! It’s so embarassing!” WTF??!
My guess is it’s a holdover from when women were supposed to wear nylons. IMHO, hair + hose = disgusting.
Please, please listen to your daughter. She is telling you what will give her a little more self-confidence. It’s not something that will hurt her or do any permanent damage to her. This will be a good way of showing that you are willing to accomodate her.
But it will also be a good time to have a talk with her about natural beauty and not having to please everybody else and being able to take teasing and so forth. (She will be more willing to listen after you have said yes.
The electric razor is a great idea because she will have to go to a little trouble to do it and she won’t be as likely to cut herself.
I was extremely embarassed by superflous hair on my arms and legs when I was her age. In my own eyes, I was a gorilla. (In photos, I appear not so bad at all.) Eventually, hormones left me with no hair at all on the arms.
I had no children of my own. But I have a glorious step-daughter and two teenage grandchildren. (I’m adopting the step-daughter!) I also taught high school and got along with my students very well.
Just because you say yes this time doesn’t mean that you have given up your right to say no in the future to something else if it is unreasonable. Each step is new. There is no slippery slope unless you choose it.
At the very least, please don’t make her wear shorts. She has a right to a sense of privacy.
Zoe is RIGHT ON ! For heaven’s sake, where’s the harm?
I’m the father/step father of five, if experience counts for anything.