My Daughter's Kindergarten Teacher Was Murdered Today

[Martin_Hyde]

@Pochacco

We’ve had many talks with our kids about other peoples’ supernatural beliefs. We’ve told them that people like to tell stories about gods and magic and while some of these stories have good things to teach us, they’re not true. But we’ve also told them that people feel very strongly about the stories they believe in and that it’s not polite to tell them that they’re wrong.

We WON’T be talking about heaven with our daughter unless she brings it up. And if she does we will be maintaining our standard line.

I see there’s a pit thread about this. Please, if you want to argue this particular point, do it there.

Thanks everyone for all your good suggestions.

Did you explain to your children that your line of thought leads directly to hell? I think one would be obligated to tell someone the consequences of their beliefs.

[Kalhoun]

@Shirley Ujest

hijack:

Sentient Meat I thought it was fun in a black humor way.

Kalhoun “where’s her nose?” just cracked me up.

[/hijack]
Any news on her exboyfriend, charboy?

Ah…don’t worry about him. He was caught up in the heat of the moment.

[SkipMagic]

@Martin Hyde

Did you explain to your children that your line of thought leads directly to hell? I think one would be obligated to tell someone the consequences of their beliefs.

Listen, if you want to argue about this when ** Pochacco** has just asked you not to argue about it in this thread, then take it over to the Pit thread.

[SkipMagic]

Actually, Martin Hyde, the more I think about your post and the more I look at post #5 in this same thread, I think it’s pretty obvious you’re simply acting like a jerk. If you want to take shots at someone, do it in the Pit and stop acting up in this forum.

[Grelby]

@Amazon Floozy Goddess

What he said. If you try to explain your beliefs to her, the concept that her teacher is simply “gone” would be terrifying to her, IMO. She would remember it and apply it to every other instance of death she experienced - and that’s not good, because it makes the idea of death a very scary thing for a child indeed.

I don’t want to start an atheism debate, but this is simply nonsense, IMO. Why on earth should Pochacco tell his daughter something that he believes to be a lie. Kids are not as delicate as you think. An anecdote: One night, for whatever reason, I got a terrible anxiety and fear about death. I think that I had only recently “got” it, and it scared. My mother comforted me without a word about heaven or other religious beliefs, either for or against, but I was comforted nonetheless. The religion and belief stuff is a red herring, I think. What helped me was hearing from my mother how much she loved and cared about me, and that death IS scary, and it’s okay to be a little frightened. And, of course, that I wasn’t going to die. I suppose, as a young person and a non-parent, that’s my advice from my memories of a child: let her know that you love her and are there to protect her and keep her safe. You don’t need heaven for that, especially if you think heaven isn’t real.

Really, kids are “wired” to believe what they are told. While Atheism is a lack of belief, it might be that a child will learn and internalize it as belief before developing an intellectual understanding of it. A kid certainly can’t be a rational atheist, but nor can she be a rational theist, and that’s okay. I don’t find the notion of a kid being taught to be atheist disturbing, and I don’t see any reason for a child brought up in an atheist household to find it disturbing.

Little kids are pretty resilient. I’m sure that, because her parents love her, your daughter will be okay.

[The_Hamster_King]

@FilmGeek

Of course, your kid might also say “oh, okay, so we get a new teacher?” and be done with it.

Actually, this is almost exactly what her response was. Well, that and shouting at the top of her lungs to the first friend she saw: “Pierre! Did you know Miss Dasaro is DEAD!!!?” :rolleyes:

I think the key will be seeing how she handles it tonight at bedtime. That’s when I expect the hard questions to come out.

[The_Hamster_King]

@Grelby

My mother comforted me without a word about heaven or other religious beliefs, either for or against, but I was comforted nonetheless.

We’ve actually talked to her about death a fair amount already before this happened. About how it means people are gone forever but that we can still keep their memories alive in our brains. She worries sometimes about Mommy and Daddy dying but we tell her that it probably won’t happen for a long time, not until she’s all grown up and has children of her own (which I suppose seems like an impossibly long time for a five-year-old).

[The_Hamster_King]

Just a brief postscript:

• I read in the paper today: The murderer died from his injuries.

• My daughter’s fine. She has a new teacher and hasn’t shown any signs of having been emotionally harmed by the episode.

Thanks again for all the thoughtful responses.

[Dung_Beetle]

A happy ending. Thank you.