My Day at the Hiroshima Day Party

As the SDMB roving reporter, I was lucky enough to have an interview with someone who went to HALO’s little Hiroshima Day party.

Me: Can you tell us, Halo-esqe person, what happened during your Hiroshima-Day Party?

Oh, it was just lovely! First, we chanted AMERIKA SUX! fifty-one times. Once for each state, and once for Guam, a province I don’t particually care for.

Then, we built a paper-maiche cannon (like the ones that fired those nukular missles at Hiroshima?) and put some flowers in the barrel. It was sooooooo moving.

Then on to cupcakes and juice! :slight_smile:

Following that, our spirits renewed after our long, arduous struggle by the yummy carob-and-no-refined sugar cupcakes and all-natural cabbage juice we listened to whale songs. (Whales don’t build nucular weapons, 'cause they’re smarter than us.). I wept openly at the beauty.

Following that we held hands and sang the the Whoville chant from THE GRINCH THAT STOLE CHRISTMAS but we changed the lyrics to make the REAL Grinch that stole Christmas for millions of Japanese people who were victims of an AMERIKAN war of agression. I rewrote the lyrics! The real lyrics are something like “Baho-dooray, baho-moray, welcome Christmas welcome all!” but that’s culturally imperialist and redolent of Dead White Males! My version goes

for 43 verses. People got very emotional.

We then had an encounter session. I expressed my guilt at being me. Everyone agreed and said they felt the same way. This made us feel better.

The exhausting pace was grueling, so, in honor of the poor people starving all over the world, we had a pre-lunch snack of plain brown rice to raise our awareness of their plight. I cried, cried openly. Then we had a light lunch of brie, omlettes and a nice fruit salad.

After lunch we had naptime. So MANY people don’t realize the value of getting plenty of rest while changing the world and raising people’s conciousnesses!

Next was tea and cookies. They were yummy and reinvigorated us for our hunger strike which was to last from 1:55 pm to 4:30 pm.

We then had speakers. Oh it was electric! The topics ranged from AMERIKA! IT SUKS! to AMERIKA FASCIST INSECT NUCULER OPRESSORS, so all viewpoints were given a fair chance. One small sour note. Some evil racist brought up the utterly irrelevant point that lots of nations (India, Pakistan, etc) also have nucular weapons. Of course we denounced him as the racist he was. Luckily, he didn’t “bring us down” too much!!!

Next we went to our anti-war love-in. In it, we all agreed that war was bad and never solved anything or helped anyone. Ever. And if only people were as enlightened as us, there would never be any war ever again. Even if someone was being oppressed or something. No-one can stand up in the face of non-violent resistance. Can you imagine how ashamed Hitler would have been if Ghandi had simply sat down in front of his armies? If Ghandi had been as enlightened as us World War Two would have been over in minutes. We all agreed on that.

We then stopped for a pizza break. Made with FULLY ORGANIC WHEAT! I’ll bet that showed those multi-nationals!

We ended the day with a non-denominational prayer to the higher powers (or plea to humanity , 'cause of the athiests) for peace.

Oh Diety, if you exist, or Humanity in General (if you don’t)
Why can’t you be (or make people be) more like us?
We are the enlightened ones.
We college students are worldly wise and spiritually enlightened.
Everyone else is an ignoramus.
We’re thinking thoughts that NO ONE has ever thought before.
If only people would stop their cultural imperialism and be more like us, things would be soooo much better.
We hate the gutless
We hate the lowlives
We hate the ignorant
We hate the twisted
And most of all we hate the haters.

Oh yeah: and…Amerika Sux.

Fenris, your roving reporter

I don’t get anything anymore.

Uh… huh.

Here’s the link for the thread being parodied.

Fenris, as always, I take off my horned helmet to you, O mighty sun-devouring wolf!

That was a true line of beauty. With your permission, I may even use that as a sig line (with proper attribution of course)

That was a true line of beauty. With your permission, I may even use that as a sig line (with proper attribution of course)

I’ll only use the line once, I promise.

That reminds me of some people I knew in college…

Wow. Lotta NoVa people here.

That was truly wonderful reporting, Fenris. Halo13 couldn’t have done it better.


I’m still anxiously awaiting his account, though.

Like I said before, I have to cross the demonstration lines tomorrow. I shall give a full account afterward.

It reminds me of a lot of people I know at college right now. Especially the naptime, tea, and cookies. :slight_smile:

Nice job, Fenris.

Sorry about that. I’d meant to do a link and didn’t copy and paste correctly!

Thanks though!


can I make fun of Halo13 also? Thanks.

I may missspppelll some words but AmeriKKKa SuKs! You speldd AmeriKKKa wrong.

Personally, I am glad that kid found The Straight Dope. I hope he sticks around. He makes it interesting, and will get more out of it than virtually anyone else hanging around right now. At least he seems curious. I regret overly slamming a similar kid called curious george. Haven’t seen him in a while. I don’t miss his cut-and-paste arguments however.

Note to Halo13, just keep posting in the Pit for a while. Your posts are pretty much destined here. Remember, there are no stupid questions, just stupid people who ask questions. Dictionaries: know them, learn them, live them.

As we type tonight a child is wandering helplessly in the shadow of ignorance. A halo of innocence crowns this pup’s troubled brow. S/he is troubled for s/he has been endowed with the seed of doubt.

Blinded by the flash of reason so strong that the light of atomic bombs seem to pale to a mere bedside lamp this child has forever been disillusioned. Yet s/he marches on in a futile attempt to hold on to the juvenile delusions that were of such comfort only days ago.

S/he marches because it is ‘That Day’ today and tries to muster unquestioning force for the Kumbaya refrain, but as this child holds the clammy hand of yet another pimple faced protester in washed out blacks and sagging piercings the voice falters and s\he wonders; “Could they be right? Did I get it wrong?”

It will still be years until reason takes root, but one day s/he will wake up in a bolstered middle class home and sigh at the sight of little Halo13 Jr. typing away angrily at a keyboard, and s/he will think of us and chuckle silently while s/he walks out to the driveway and the Volvo station wagon that s/he will drive to a comfy middle management job in a plush downtown office.

Ah! The days of intoxicating addled youth that are so fleeting.


And what’s wrong with a nap? As a sales-person, I realize the capitalist value of ending my day about 3 or so, taking a nap, and working through the night updating my database with my calls through the day. I don’t use no pink blankie when I nap–I do it to improve my productivity for the corporate machine.

Naps are the Invisible Pink Unicorn’s way of saying that s/he loves you.

Captian don’t misquote me, YOU said “America is evil”, NOT ME.

Well Sunday was Hiroshima Day and it was a success. Hundreds of people were able to march and hear speakers from various Universities, anti-nuclear groups, and Human Rights advocates. Talking to many people on the day makes me realise just how ignorant some of the responses above have been. Regardless of the ‘Hawks’ in here trying to derail discussion of Hiroshima, we have seen so good responses. Don’t allow the load mouths in this thread to distract you. We are supposed to be discussing a topic, not having a back forth. Sparc and Fenris, your bigotry has no place here and viewers do not appreciate your high jacking of this thread. I think it is clear your arguments on this topic are exhausted, so do us all a favour.

Halo, can I be the first to say that I think you’re a comedic genius?

Genius, sheer genius!

The meltdown continues.

I am in stitches! You do realize that this is Fenris’ thread and all that… but never mind.

After being labeled as a pesky radical European liberal by december I can now add to my accolades a reactionary bigot label from Halo13. Living the trials and tribulations of the reasonable moderate is so much fun.

Sparc & Fenris bigots??? and on the same side???

into what bizarro world have I wandered ?

So hundreds of people came. Like, 200? I think my university’s D3 basketball games drew more. 'Course, we were NCAA champs in 2k1. So, it’s to be expected.

'Course, that was ‘cause all them mean ol’ hawk types kept the minions of totalitarianism at bay long enough for you to grow up–an event that will probably occur some time.