5 days ago, my dog jumped out of the car and yelped as she landed. She limped for 5 minutes or so, and then was fine for a while. Then I noticed she was limping around the house. I felt sorry for her, she’s about 15 years old now, hardly a puppy, so I thought she may have hurt herself and I let her on the couch with me, I let her sleep on the bed with me, all the things I normally don’t let her do.
After 4 days of limping, I though she may be seriously hurt, although she only yelped that one time jumping out of the car. So I took her to the vet and he checked her out.
Perfect bill of health. No broken leg, no broken foot, no hairline fractures, no sprains, no bruises, she didn’t yelp or bark when the vet squeezed her leg up and down looking for the sore spot.
His diagnoses? She’s faking. He thinks the dog may have for a second hurt itself and actually limped for the first 5 minutes, when I first noticed it, then after I let it up on the couch, bed, and giving it treats the dog kept on limping to get the special treatment.
So last night I don’t let the dog sleep on the bed. This morning she’s walking fine. Coincidence or did I get outsmarted by a 15 year old mutt?
Brat, maybe you’re looking at this from the wrong perspective. Sure your dog pulled a fast one on you, but just think, maybe the dog is trying to tell you something. You’re a clever, intelligent guy and you got fooled…maybe you could use this unique talent towards your own ends. Yes, I’m talking about a con-dog. You could make scads of money on bets, meet lots of women…the possibilities are endless. Who knows how far you could go with this? Today Hollywood, tomorrow total world domination.
Just remember me when you’re passing out important and high-paying positions in your elite government.
struuter
*don’t feel bad about the faking thing–there are probably lots of people who’d fake a broken leg just to get into bed with you…<nudge, nudge, wink, wink>
This suddenly reminded me of an old Kurt Russell movie I haven’t seen in years. Anyone remember Used Cars? The one salesman taught his dog to play dead and he convinced a potential buyer that he had run over the dog. The salesman cried and carried on until the guy bought the car.
Coming home day, we walked into the kitchen to catch our old dog diving into her bed, abandoning the box of dog biscuits she had stolen out of the cupboard and left scattered all over the floor. She then proceeded to look sleepily up from her bed as if we had just woken her!
We were laughing too hard to scold her.
I also once watched our other dog pad slowly and quietly up to a workman mixing something on the kitchen floor. (This guy had told us that he was afraid of dogs but we had assured him that she was harmless.) She got to within inches of his ear, and then let out a single huge bark. He just about died, and the dog just stood there wagging her tail!
Just make sure you get one smarter than the dog we had when I was a kid. Hilarie, a mixed breed, would sometimes get her toes stepped on (she was often “underfoot,” sorry). She’d give a small yelp and limp off. We’d always say sorry, give her lots of love and a cookie. One time she limped off on one foot, we began our apologies, and of course, she turned around and limped back on the other foot.
She also learned to pretend to have to go to the bathroom. She’d whine, be let out, do her thing, and come back and get a cookie. We found out that doing her thing was not what we thought, but rather, her standing next to her potty area for about a minute or two, then turning around and racing back to the house.
I had a dog like that growing up. For a while, there was a stray dog roaming the neighborhood, a handsome and dashing German Shepherd that our dog took quite a fancy to. He returned the sentiments, and it bothered him not a whit that she was spayed. However, she knew that we didn’t like to have him around. So, whenever she was outside by herself, she’d cozy up to him. Dogs are funny that way. They seem to think they’re the only creatures around who understand what windows are for… Also, they tend to disregard anything higher up than humans are tall, so I often got to watch her court her beau from the top branches of a tree. Anyhow, the instant one of us stepped outside (or otherwise entered her field of perception), she’d start growling and chase him off, and look at us as if to say “Whew! That was a close one! Never fear, your watchdog is on duty twenty four-seven! Rest assured, you need never worry about strange dogs getting in here… Don’t you have to go inside now?” The look on the German Shepherd’s face was even more priceless. “But… but…” He never did seem to figure out what was going on, and eventually wandered off, presumably to find some other pretty young thing who wasn’t schizophrenic.
