We cut leftover meat or inexpensive cuts of meat into bite size pieces and freeze them for cookies or treats for the dog.
When I take her to her crate for the night, I tell her, “I have cookies freshly frozen for your dining pleasure!”
What lies or exaggerations do you tell your pets?
I tell my dogs I am a great opera star. They enjoy my singing so much, sometimes they sing-a-long.
I tell my cats there is nothing outside that they would find fun or interesting.
“Come inside, we’re going for a ride!”
Nah just kidding, we’re staying here. I just didn’t want you outside anymore.
“You’re a good boy"
I used to use that ruse when my dog would get loose. “Want to go for a R I D E in the car? Get in!” But hten I’d always take them for a short ride so they would continue to trust me.
StG
“We’ll be right back.”
I tell the dogs and bird “I’ll be right back” all the time, and I mean it. I always do come back. Sometimes in 10 minutes, sometimes an hour, sometimes after two weeks of vacation.
I tell them I’m going to take them back to where they came from. Sometimes I threaten to sell them for research.
They don’t believe me and continue to be naughty.
“Kitty, if you don’t shut up, I’m going to twist your little head around until it pops off.”
I’ve always told all my dogs and cats that s/he is the BEST doggie/kitty in the whole world! They always buy it.
Every day I say to my dog, “I don’t like dogs. In fact NOBODY likes dogs. And I kill puppies!”
I get away with it as I’m pretty sure she fails to translate my words out of English and into Dogspeak. Whatta dummy!
“Just being cute does not entitle you to any of my dinner.”
Regards,
Shodan
“I DON’T HAVE YOUR BALL!” Said 636 times a day to our fetch crazy Border collie who is always losing her tennis balls.
“SHADDUP! OTHER DOGS HAVE THE RIGHT TO WALK DOWN OUR STREET!” Self explanatory.
When I’m the last one out the door, I tell the cat to guard the house for us.
Once one of my ringneck parrots was at the window in the morning screaming at something. I said “Oh, did a meteor hit the yard last night?” Then I looked out another window and saw that it had snowed.
So then I said “Sorry about the fallout, I tried to prevent the nuclear war but my phone battery died during negotiations. Go to the neighbor’s house and ask if we can use his fallout shelter.”
She screamed for a couple more hours.
A double lie: “I’ll be right back,” as I’m leaving for work for the day. Then, when I’m halfway down the stairs and realize I’ve forgotten something and have to actually go right back, “See, I *told *you I’d be right back!”
“You won’t like this.”, when they’re begging for my dinner.
“You’re evil.”, said to Boo, the wicked cat of the West. She’s really more Chaotic.
“You’re my Favorite!” - I tell them all that.
Good thing I only have one kid.
I tell my cat and horse “you are naughty.” They aren’t.
When you come home and find a UPS guy on the porch with his throat ripped out, what will be your excuse?