Every now and then someone will tell me “Hey I just saw your evil twin across town…Blah blah blah” well dammit I want to be the evil one. Why am I always Mr.Goody-two-shoes? What the hell was the other guy doing? kicking puppies? Anyone with me on this? If you had a twin would you be the evil one or whiney-good-boy?
I just read this over lunch, seemed appropos:
What is the antonym for “evil twin” anyway?
Good twin?
Noble twin?
Is there one?
I’m doing my best to work in a ST:TOS “Mirror, Mirror” reference here, but I’m drawing a blank.
I have an Evil Twin.
I have a disappearing/re-appearing birth mark. Pepper Mill, noticing the current state, will often say “Hey, you had the birth mark there the last time. Where’s your twin?” The problem is, we can never remember if the Evil One is the one with or without the birthmark.
We would take turns… I would be evil on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. He would be evil on Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday…
And on Sunday, because of the Sabbath, we would both be evil! Go to church and take money out of the collection plate! Go to the mall and put orange cones in front of all the handicap parking spaces! ya!!
BTW: here is a picture of my evil twin! --> :mad:
ok ok ok! I got some eeeerie pictures…
Here is me → 
and here’s my twin :mad:
Nothing alike, right? But watch this! He puts on the shades and now
Me: :mad:
Twin:
scary huh? Masters of Disguise!
Okay, okay. Here we go:
I have a twin. His name is exactly the same as mine- Lightnin’ L. Lightnin’. Even the same spelling on the last name, which is actually rather rare.
We live in the same town- or at least we did a few years ago. I think he lives about two towns south of here now.
He’s also an artist- his headhunter called to offer me a job, the day I took a job somewhere else. Of course, I’d never talked to this headhunter before, so he and I were both MASSIVELY confused. Took a while to sort that one out.
AltLightnin’ and I have also worked at the same places- at the same time. He and I both delivered pizza for Pizza Hut at the same time- across town from each other. He worked at IBM- while I worked for the company that handled IBM’s mail.
I currently live in the small town that he grew up in- at the grocery store, people mistake me for him every now and then, because… we even look alike. Yessir, shaved head and goatee on both of us. I think we’re both evil twins, due to the presence of our goatees.
There are a few differences- he’s about five years younger, as far as I can tell. He’s also got more immediate family than I do.
When a tornado came through a few years ago, I got a call immediately afterwards. The guy on the phone told me he’d heard about the twister, and was wondering if I was okay. I said, “I’m fine. Uh, who is this?”
“This is your dad, Lightnin’.”
Me- “Uh, nope, don’t think so.”
Really nice guy- he died a few years ago, and when family friends called to express sympathy, I was very touched.
His sister sounds cute, too- but somehow it would’ve just been icky if I’d asked her out. Incestuous, somehow.
According to Dr Hibbert on The Simpsons, the left twin in a pair of Siamese twins is invariably evil.
I’d rather live my Evil Twin’s life 
*
[My] evil twin lives in Villach, Austria. She lives a life of luxury, with the vast majority of wealth coming from her “latex business”.
She, with the help of a bevy of beauties of questionable moral standing, have cornered the international market on Ultra Realistic sex toys, molded from her own genitalia.
The moral dilemma posed to her by this business is twofold. Firstly, should she continue running her smut factory under the guise of a nunnery, and secondly, should she include batteries to operate the vibrating vagina?*