I’m glad to hear he’s in better spirits.
I’m wondering if there are any charitable medical transport groups that could help out. I may try and do some Google to see what may turn up.
I did find one called charity air but I was playing phone tag with then. My hope is that in a few weeks he could be cleared for commercial travel and we can fly him on SouthWest. It’s only an two and a half hour flight.
Glad to hear he is getting better!
I have a strong dislike for HR departments. I don’t really understand the rationale behind providing benefits but making them very difficult to use. I think that they become more of a company negative than anything useful for recruiting and retention when that happens.
I find that using company time to deal with their rigmarole makes me feel slightly better.
Hope everything keeps going in the right direction!
Update.
I am back in Florida. Today we see his oncologist. What web know is he has Small cell carcinoma of the bladder. He has not had any treatment for this yet. His older brother had just been diagnosed with bladder cancer as well.
I hope he’s getting treatment for uncomfortable symptoms and/or pain, at least!
I realize most people think of “treatment” as things like chemo or radiation to attack the cancer, but what is done to relieve symptoms is also treatment, and no less important. Even if the decision is to alleviate symptoms rather than attempt to kill off the cancer you are STILL treating him, still taking care of him, and it should not be regarded as giving up.
As far as I know he is not on any medication for pain. From what I experienced last night he is not getting the best care in this rehab center. He is expressing needs and they are not covering them. He has one medication that is listed as needed to keep his bowels regular. He has stated he needs it nightly but they are not giving it to him every night based on what he told me.
I hate to burden you, but you really need to look into that. Just the fact a family member is showing up/taking an active interest greatly improves the likelihood he will get the care he needs.
If he’s in pain he needs to have pain medication.
If they’re not taking care of him now it will only get worse.
I agree. I am trying to convince him to come to NJ for treatment but it is a struggle. My aunt works for Senior Services here and is trying but she doesn’t want to overstep the boundary between her professional and private.
He claims to not be in pain but he doesn’t always admit things.
Cancer pain can vary enormously - my father suffered almost no pain from his lung cancer, even in his final days. My husband had a great deal of pain, almost from the very beginning.
If your father’s cancer migrates to his bones he will have a lot of pain, both from the cancer and from the fact that it will cause the affect bone to become extremely fragile, leading to fractures that won’t heal.
The most important thing is for someone to be able to act as his advocate and keep up with what’s happening (or not happening) with him.
I think Broomstick is saying what I would say. I’ll just emphasize the advocate part. Push hard. Don’t worry about being obnoxious. This isn’t the time to be polite. This is the time to get your father what he needs. It sounds like if you don’t do it, no one else will. Do what you have to and keep on pushing.
Is there another facility he could be moved to?
We have a facility ready willing and able in NJ to take him if he agrees to go
On a positive note they now say there is a possibility it is lymphoma and not a carcinoma. They are waiting for more tests on the original tissue but he has a PET scan for Monday
My mother-in-law has spent time in rehab centers for various reasons, and there were a LOT of issues with the center not following up on her care as they were supposed to. It helps a LOT to have a family member there to read the staff the riot act as appropriate, so I’m really glad you’re down there.
This wouldn’t happen to be in the greater Palm Beach County area, would it?
I feel for you on the distance. We’re DC metro but the parents are in FL and they’ve gotten into health trouble on a number of occasions where having someone closer would have helped head things off.
Oooh - if he can’t travel by air, might he travel by train? There are several that go from FL to NY, and he could get one of the handicapped-accessible rooms. You could fly down and travel with him (the rooms have space for a companion). They have toilet facilities right there and are on the ground level of the car (the sleeper cars are double decker). Of course if he’s not on the east cost of the state there’d be the issue of travelling to the coastal area to catch the train…
No he is on the other coast about 30 minutes from Tampa. My aunt (my mother’s sister) is the only family member down here but she works full time and doesn’t have the time to supervise his care at the rehab center. She also doesn’t wan’t to overstep boundaries because she works for the state of Florida in Elder Abuse.
I mentioned the train to him last time I was here and he shot it down. I really feel he is worried that if he comes to NJ he will never come back to Florida and his house means a lot to him. When I proposed to my wife in '14 my mother put the family home on the market and had one built for her and my father near her sister. Sadly she passed from Ovarian Cancer in Sept of '15 before she could move into the house. So the only relatives near him is her sister. My father has family on the other coast but they can’t visit him because of their health issues.
It’s only a two and a half hour flight so as long as his heart is strong enough (he had a pacemaker put in last year) I don’t see why he couldn’t be cleared for flight. His oncologist had no objections on flying. I will have to contact his primary and see what he says. The real challenge is getting my father to agree to come back. I’m hoping when they are able to stage the cancer and determine of it spread and if it is carcinoma or lymphoma he will then make the decision on if he will come to NJ or not.