It doesn’t have to be elaborate, just have a one-liner to explain.
Wrap a ribbon around your chest, put a bow on your lapel, and tell everyone you are the Ghost of Christmas Present. Then ask about their costumes.
Regards,
Shodan
I’ve also seen a tshirt that simply says, “This IS my costume” on it.
And not to hijack your thread, but how did the big birthday go? I might’ve missed an update, but I’d love to hear a brief recap. You guys’ enthusiasm for experiencing things we all take for granted is infectious and I hope it always goes well.
Go Naked! Wear a flesh colored bodysuit and pantyhose.
I’ve only attended two parties in disguise in my life, at least since I was old enough to set the table without breaking all the dishes. One was my 12th grade dinner, where I combined my aunt’s old neskita clothes with red boots and a beribboned tiara to go as Katiuska, the Russian protagonist of an old Spanish operetta. I danced with one of the jellyfish, but 30 years later I still don’t know which one! (Six of the boys were dressed up as jellyfishes, with disguises made out of blue trash bags)
The other one was at work in New Jersey, and why some American companies are so fond of dress-up parties at work “as team building” is one of those things I’ll never get. I wore one of my old labcoats and a cowboy hardhat I’d gotten as a present from our Lonestar factory: people would say “aw, c’mon, you’re just dressed as a lab tech!” and I’d knock on the hat and say “no, I’m dressed as a Lonestar lab tech! It’s all in the details!”
Sheesh… this is a quandary for you. You don’t want to appear weird and abnormal on a day that celebrates it, because you went through it for real and don’t want to creep out the “normal” people in your new life.
Here’s what’s most likely going to happen: everybody there will be looking at what everybody else is dressed as for Halloween. If you aren’t dressed up, their eyes will look elsewhere. They will have no idea what kind of past you had, whether you dress up or not. I can understand you not wanting to stand out in a crowd, but there’s no reason you can’t be part of the overall picture. Paint your nose black and draw cat whiskers on your cheeks, wear a silly hat, or even a shit that has the name of a recording artist on it, like Lady Gaga, Adele, GWAR, whoever. It doesn’t have to be elaborate or grandiose. Just look like you’re there to celebrate, even if it is in some small way.
Go nekkid wearing only rollerskates - you’ll be a pull toy.
Sorry. I’m so ashamed of myself.
Dollar stores sell cowboy hats. If you have a plaid or bright colored shirt and jeans, so much the better.
Go nekkid & paint a clock on your stomach. Find a woman with a big hand & a little hand to make you strike midnight.
Mooommm, is your handbasket big enough for two?
Rather than a fictional character, it can be fun to go to a party as a pun. I’ve gone to a couple of parties wearing Groucho glasses and a monk’s robe; I was a Marx Brother. One year, my wife wore the robe and carried a bag with a dollar sign printed on it; she was a Felonius Monk. A friend of ours once wore a sheet with playing cards, dice, lottery tickets, and a roulette wheel attached to it; she was the Ghost of a Chance.
I know you said you hate comic books, but my fallback costume for the times that I was invited to a party at the last minute is: suit and tie, glasses, and fedora with an index card tucked into it that says: “PRESS: KENT, CLARK / DAILY PLANET.”
And a Superman T-shirt under it. Every once in a while, pull open your shirt.
That is so cool.
There you go. Especially if your friends are aware of your history. Dress up like you were going in field service and pack your book bag with candy. Put a JW.ORG button on your lapel.
I did that, too. One time, when I arrived at the party, I ran in, shirt open, and said “Phone booths! Are there any phone booths?”
I just had another thought. Go in your normal clothes, but wear a baseball cap and carry a baseball bat. If anyone asks what you’re supposed to be, just say, “I’m Batman.” IIRC, Austin is known for its chiroptera, so they should appreciate the pun.
It’ll never work; when’s the last time you saw a phone booth?
I’ve always thought this t-shirt was funny:
You say you wear glasses?
A geek costume would be very simple and you wouldn’t have much, if anything, to buy.
Put some masking/white athletic tape around the center of your glasses, wear a white, short-sleeve button-down shirt with a pocket protector filled with pens/pencils, too-short dress pants (or roll them up), mismatched socks and dress or tennis shoes. Add suspenders if you have them.
Get naked, gouge a hole in a potato and put it on your member/junk and go as a dictator.
Don’t wear a costume, but put a knife in your belt. When asked what you are supposed to be, just say that you are an insane serial killer - they look like normal people.
@joyfool - I will have to update the birthday thread. It went great. Had about 65 people turn out and most importantly my wife had a blast. She got a ton of presents, which was kind of unexpected, and had fun getting to open them for the first time ever. We had lots of cake and other snacks, a photo booth, music, games, and honestly people were having such a good time that we didn’t get around to half the stuff we had planned. Thanks for asking about that. It means a lot. I’ll make a not to update that thread tomorrow if I have time.
Oh, all of the naked suggestions. You guys take scary to another level. I don’t want to traumatize anyone. 
Lots of ideas here to consider. The good news is that my friends all know our story. I try to be me though, and not Mike the ex-JW, as much as possible, though it obviously informs much of my life. You don’t just lose decades of that stuff in the blink of an eye. So going as a JW in any form is out, but I like a lot of these suggestions.
I’m not a real fun guy, wasn’t allowed to have a lot of fun as a kid, and have always been pretty serious. My wife got me to play in the snow for the first time a few years ago. My parents didn’t let us much because we “might catch a cold”. I am playful and can let loose, but basically just with my wife. I’m not good at expressing that side of me and am extremely self-conscious. We’ll see how this goes.
For anyone wondering, I think my wife is going as Allie Brosh’s illustration of herself from Hyperbole and a Half. She loved her blog and read it, then bought the book (or one of her books, don’t know how many there are). She loves her. “Clean all the things!”
Hey Mike,
What kinds of things are you used to doing on Halloween night to avoid all of the fun?