I don’t tip. I’ve never been tipped. Personally I don’t see the point in tipping a pizza guy because if I did tip someone it would be on quality of service and well, the pizza guy’s just doing his job. That is, unless he delivers it to me at the speed of light. But then again, I find the idea of ordering pizza ludicrous as well, I make my own.
When I worked as a maid I never got a tip.
On the topic at hand of course, that’s pretty low. I don’t know how those people sleep at night.
I was thinking the same thing as CandidGamera and Lord Ashtar. I definitely would have commented loudly on the money she pocketed.
I had a kid that did that. Lived in what was practically a mansion.
One day I found out that his parents went to the same country club my parents did.
Shortly after I mentioned that, I started getting tips from the little bastard.
Of course, this is my favorite delivery story…
At the time, I actually had a real, professional job, and I was only delivering because the place was desperately short of drivers, and I was good friends with the manager. God damn, there’s nothing better than working a job you can walk away from at any time. Sometimes I think of getting a second job just so I can give myself the illusion of power.
Anyways, we had some high school pukes who would call up on a Sunday, complain about their last pizza, and the manager would cave without a fight. Fine, company policy, blah blah blah.
Well, my own personal policy was that people could screw The Hut as much as they wanted and I didn’t care. However, these people lived at the very edge of our delivery area, and they stiffed the driver (on their free pizza) every single time.
So, screw Pizza Hut, and that’s okay. Screw me, and well, not so okay.
For my third Sunday morning in a row a call comes in from these guys and I see that, again, the pizza is free. I tell the manager what I think of this.
She tells me, “Tough shit. Delivery it anyways.”
I say, “If I do, I’m going to tell them exactly what I think. And since I’m the only driver you’re kind of stuck with that.”
“You can’t do that!”
“Then it doesn’t get delivered.”
“Fine, whatever. Just deliver the damned thing.”
So, I pull up and there’s half a dozen highschoolers sitting around. Once they see I’m carrying a pizza bag they get their big smiles.
Joe says, “Wow, another free pizza. You guys must be pretty clever.”
Shit-eating grins.
“You know,” says Joe, “you might want to rethink your strategy on this one.”
“What do you mean?” says peon #1.
“Well,” offers Joe, “you’re pissing off the people you’re trusting to make your food. Not very bright.”
With that, before their now-fading shit eating grins, I took the box out of the bag, took the pizza out of the box, and upended the pizza onto their driveway.
Strangely enough, they never called again.
-Joe, bulletproof
I never had a problem with tips when I was a pizza driver. But the best tip I ever got didn’t involve money. And of course I’m sure it wasn’t intended as a tip. But there was one night when I pulled up in front of a big house, rang the bell, and the door was answered by a pretty teenage girl wearing nothing but her panties and an unbuttoned flannel shirt :eek: Kinda made my day…
sniff That story brung a tear to my eye. Kind of makes me wish I was still in retail. Or ordering a pizza. 
A thoughtful and well-reasoned plan of action, that.
Unfortunately:
-I don’t carry a gun (well, I did, but it was a BB gun I kept in the glovebox in case I got attacked by a dog again).
-If I did carry a handgun, I’d still think twice before taking on a guy with a shotgun
I read a story in Car & Driver about Bithlo (A big night in Bithlo) a while back and I want to go and see the races there, they race anything!, the high points for me were the school buses and the “boat races” (you have a boat on a trailer hooked to your race car), all of the races are run on a figure 8 track so there are spectacular “meetings in the middle”, rednecks racing junk cars and smashing into each other, I love this country!.
Unclviny
Dear Straight Dope,
I never thought this would happen to me…
:dubious:
You don’t tip? Please tell me you’re kidding.
Delivering pizzas is a crappy job that pays for shit. When you’re out of a job and forced to work as a pizza delivery girl, I hope you get stiffed a few times.
Preview: That was a little more vitriolic than it should have been. I apologize, but I don’t take it back. I’ve never been tipped either.
You do seem to be coming off awfully high and mighty, though. Ordering pizza isn’t ludicrous. It is something that people do, all over the country, every day. I feel the same way about people who say “I don’t watch TV” like it is some sort of failure on your part that you do.
I’m going to go lie down now.
twitch.
One of my best Pizza guy stories involves a friend of mine who did carry a weapon. A 45 colt automatic.
He had a guy pull the old "call from a phone booth and give a phony address so when the driver arrives you can rob him" trick.
Getting out of his car and lloking for the non existant house my friend was approached by an individual who pulled out a switchblade and stated "gimmie your money!"
Ther response that switchblade boy got was being hit in the forehead by a 45 and my friend saying "gimmie your knife".
Honestly, I saw the knife afterwards, and it really wasn't worth the effort :D
Domino’s stoped deliveries to the neighborhood in question shortly after.
I never thought I’d be writing Penthouse…
So, Ninja Pizza Guy, is your real name Hiro Protagonist? Do you work for Cosa Nostra Pizza?
Wow, the everyone does it argument. :rolleyes:
Why buy something for 20 bucks you could make yourself? It just shows laziness. And if it’s for convenience, then there are other options that you can do yourself at home.
Why should I tip just because they don’t get paid shit? It’s not my fault they get paid shit. They don’t like what they get paid? Their problem. Not mine.
There’s one like you every shift. It averages out.
Yup. And let’s keep in mind that a pizza driver has a slightly higher chance of getting, you know, killed, when compared to a regular waiter or waitress.
-Joe, pizza killa, yo!
I can’t make a pizza worth a damn. So, let’s see… I go to the trouble of getting all of the stuff to make the silly thing, take all the time and effort to make it, and then it tastes like crap.
Yep, I’ll spend the 20 bucks (even though it’s generally less in my neck of the woods). Seems like money well-spent.
You can’t heat up frozen pizza? 
Seems a lot more environmentally friendly then having one guy drive all the way out to your house and back, just so he can bring you a piece of food that you don’t need, just because you seem to not be in the mood to make your own.
There are hundreds of things that you can make from the food in your cupboard. You can’t cook? They make packet meals for people like you.
Fire Engine - despite DiGiornio’s claims to the contrary, I’ve yet to encounter a frozen pizza remotely comparable in taste to a freshly delivered PapaJohn’s or Domino’s pizza. They’re just good.
Are you seriously questioning the legitimacy of the pizza delivery business? I realize that tipping conventions may be different where you live, and you are free to be a cheap little punk if you like, but this is just silly.
I think you need to go lie down in a dark room.
Wow, $20 for one pizza? When we spend $20, we usually get two pizzas and two subs (hero/gryo/big sandwich/whatever regional thing you call it). What kind of expensive pizzas are you getting?
I go with the assertation that if you can afford to order in food, you can afford to tip. Crack open your wallet and give the guy a couple of bucks. :rolleyes: