I’ve been in a long distance relationship with my girlfriend for a little over a year. We went through some rough spots (there was another thread about this somewhere on here) but once we patched things up, she decided she was ready to move to NYC. This plan has been in the works since early November. She was currently living with her parents (she’s an only child, 21 years old), and although they were sad that she was moving out, they supported her decision. However, her and her mother have been at odds and fighting almost constantly ever since this decision was made. Her mother feels like she is abandoning the family and doesn’t appreciate all that her parents have done for her, while my gf sees it as an opportunity to move to a bigger city, get a new job, and in the fall go back to a college that she has already picked out, applied to, and been accepted into.
This move was supposed to happen 2 days ago, and her mom found every excuse she could to delay the move, up to and including the announcement that she couldn’t afford the insurance on her car in my state last week, and that she would have to be driven here by her instead. The weather delayed them from doing the drive over the last two days, but now that it’s cleared up, she was throwing a hysterical fit, and they only got 2 miles away from the house before the car was turned around and her mom locked herself in her bedroom. I encouraged her to keep arguing with her, and try to make her see what a baby she’s being. After all, if she didn’t want her to move out, she should have just said NO at some point over the last two months, or at least before they had the entire car packed up and new furniture purchased and delivered here. She said she would do that, and that was the last I heard for a couple hours. And now, I just got the call that her mom overdosed on something and was brought to the hospital. She is going to be okay, at least physically.
This brings up a couple questions in my mind. At first, I thought that her mother was just having a normal motherly reaction to her baby leaving the nest, but is THIS normal motherly behavior? Is this somewhat my fault…did I give her bad advice? I had this feeling last night that something really bad was going to happen today. I don’t believe in foreseeing the future, but I get the impression that I had that feeling because subconsciously I knew something like this was going to happen. I don’t know that much about her mother’s mental history, but I don’t think she’s ever tried to kill herself before. And what is the right way to handle this? I realize now that this move is going to be delayed, and should be the last thing we worry about, but what is the best course of action to take? I mean, if her mom is that passionate about her not moving, should we cancel it? Should we be more concerned about trying to get her some kind of mental help, and still proceed with our plans? This is the first time in a long while that I really don’t know right from wrong, or which is the “best” solution vs the “right” solution, and which is which…