Took off over lunch to run some errands and maybe pick up a couple of gift cards as stocking stuffers…
Oh Fuck a duck…
It is INSANE! 50 billions cars everywhere, parking lots crammed full where they usually are less than 20% full…Get into a store and the line at checkout is many, many, many, many people long. Didn’t even stop by a couple because a line was OUT THE FUCKIN DOOR!
If I hear ANY news/econ/political/who the fuck pundit talk about a slow economy/low consumer spending/Black Friday dissappointing I will fly there and rip their heart out via their throat!
I heard a newscaster say, “today is like the Black Friday of groceries.” Which is why I bought mine last week.
I usually make the rounds and fill my freezer with cheap turkeys, as well as all the other thanksgiving stuff we eat throughout the year. I buy bulk stuffing mix, evaporated milk, butter, baking stuff, cranberries, green beans, etc. every year the week before Thanksgiving (and other frozen/shelf stable stuff at Easter and Christmas).
However, you wouldn’t have caught me in any store today unless it was a dire emergency. You won’t catch me in one on Friday either. I am not fond of shopping, nor of crowds.
I’ve never really understood the phrase “Black Friday”. It’s supposed to be the day when stores become profitable, but that doesn’t really make sense as it implies that the stores are losing money the preceding 11 months straight. I might be a bit off here, but if your store is losing money for 11 months, perhaps you’re doing something wrong?
Fortunately, the good people at Cracked have offered solid evidence backing me up.
People driving everywhere while their brains are 99% dedicated to worrying about what to buy for Little Timmy or their Spouse, tallying their lists of Gifts. Driving through red lights, turning without looking, ignoring signs, 15 mph below the speed limit in the left lane, or 60mph in a 30 zone because they need to get to Walmart RIGHT NOW.
Crazy motherfuckers in parking lots. The entire rest of the year, most of these people would be screaming for the cops to arrest people who acted like they do at this time of year.
Assholes in the Aisles. Looking one direction and walking another, attempting to force their carts ahead of them like a plow. Blocking aisles while they stare off into space wondering if they should check this department on the other side of the store, then getting pissy of anyone says anything.
Sleeping at the register. Staring off in deep thought while the clerk rings everything up and not moving until after the third time they’re told the total. At which point it takes another 10 seconds for them to realize “Oh, I have to pay for this shit” and another 2-3 full minutes for them to locate their means of payment. God help you if the decide to write a check. Dostoyevski spent less time writing War and Peace.
These are a few of my least favorite things about the Orgy of Capitalism that is somehow named after someone who, according to his legend, wouldn’t have anything to do with this sort of thing.
I DO have to go to the BANK … to withdraw some :eek: $$$ :eek: for my ex-spouse. He is suffering from cancer and has NO HEALTH INSURANCE, due to the poverty inherent in his line of work (starving writer, documenting poverty) – go figure.
Support Buy Nothing Day (http:/ /www.adbusters.org/campaigns/bnd ).
I had decided not to buy anything on Black Friday. Then The Princess and I both got the flu, and she ran out of cough medicine this morning, about the same time Mom realized we were running low on coffee and eggs, and Dad couldn’t find our Christmas tree stand while putting up the tree. So I dragged myself out of bed, put on some clean pants (no PJs in public for me ever, except that one time last year when I got out of the hospital) and dragged myself to Target. I managed to find everything on my list except eggs, and also Christmas tree stands, which they don’t seem to carry for our 6-foot artificial tree. I found the store relatively sane, maybe because it was late in the afternoon and the more rabid shoppers were long gone. So, even though I went back on my decision, at least my daughter has medicine now and I am happily caffeinated, so I don’t feel so bad.
