My friend is missing

I’ve been trying to call a friend of mine in Washington (state) for about a month. I’ve left a couple of messages, but she hasn’t returned my calls. I sent an e-mail to her aearlier in the week, but she hasn’t answered it (she doesn’t go online frequently). I’ve called at various times and have not left a message when she doesn’t pick up the phone.

She may have decided to go on vacation, but I know she didn’t have much time accrued. She may have been called to active duty, but it’s been 10 years since she flew a Black Hawk in the Gulf War. She may be busy working on her house. She may have a boyfriend and is spending time with him. Or something may have happened to her.

I’ve thought about flying up and dropping by, or calling the local constabulary to see if they could just drive by her place. If she’s not there, then she’s still missing. If she is, then I look like a buffoon for being so worried about her.

I hope she’s okay.


Johnny, I had a friend of mine call the police when my number had been disconnected because he was worried about me. (Hadn’t heard from me in awhile, he was in MI, I was in FL) Rather than thinking he was a buffoon, I was grateful that someone cared enough to look out for me. If you’re worried, and you’ve tried all conventional options, go the next step up the ladder. You’ll feel better about it in the long run, regardless of the outcome.

Good luck!

Do you know any of her family members that you could call? Mutual friends? Any reason why she might be so pissed at you that she wouldn’t return your messages? Could she have moved abruptly without telling you?

A month is a long time to be incommunicado… but I can think of several scenarios that might explain it without any need to imagine the worst.

Calling the cops might be a last option, but do it if you have to… my mother did when I moved to the opposite coast and didn’t answer the phone for 5 or 6 days (the ringer was broken, and I didn’t realize it until the police showed up at my door saying that my mother had sent them! Mild embarrasment all around, but I called home. Mom was happy…)

I understand your concern, but don’t assume the worst just because you haven’t been able to get hold of her for a month… there could be many innocent explanations.

Did you have a regular communcation cycle with her? Like did you used to talk every month or so?

Where abouts does she live? Perhaps one of us Washington Dopers can drive by or something (if she lives in a house, an apartment might be harder to check without). Email me.

Go onto and do a reverse lookup of other phone numbers on her street. Then call her nearest neighbor.

Send snail mail & see if you get it returned. (Of course, include your return address). Tell her you care & would like some type of signal that she’s alive.

Is “constabulary” normally used in the U.S.?

Everything is okay. I got ahold of her on the phone about a half an hour ago. She’d just been busy working on her house. :slight_smile:

Boi Toi: We usually talk every week or two weeks. It was unusual for her not to be around the phone for so long, but she often waits for me to call back instead of returning the call. She lives out in Hoquiam, which is a nice small town but a bit quiet.

I’ve never heard it used here in Los Hideous, but I like to use words that aren’t often used. :wink:

Thanks, all!

Hoquiam! Isn’t that near Humptulips? :stuck_out_tongue: