My friend is older than dirt and ?? (help with birthday joke)

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

My two best friends and I work in the same office. Payback is a bitch they say and we are getting him back for our birthdays.

One of the things we have in mind is to decorate his desk. We have a sign that says “Things he is older than” with arrows pointing to various objects. We have dirt, rocks, and a dinosaur. We feel that we need at least one more thing for our decorative display. I have a model of Stonehenge, but would prefer not to cart it around if I don’t have to.

So I have turned to the most creative group I know. My friend is older than dirt - what else is he older than?

2

Time? A gold pocket watch?

…I dunno. shuffles off

3

A picture of old growth redwoods, or the Sistine chapel.

4

Disclaimer: No offense meant at all.

Older than God?

5

I love the redwoods idea.

I actually had the Sistine Chapel idea and we thought it was rolling on the floor funny. We were going to label it “Older than God”. But we were afraid to use it because we work with people who are easily offended and would report us :rolleyes: (we aren’t assuming - we are working from experience of what the eternally offended have done to other coworkers).

6

Dolores Reborn, looks like our posts crossed in the mail :smiley:

7

How about printing off a picture of the galaxy?

I’ve recently become fond of the phrase “He’s so old he farts dust!”

Feel free to use it as you see fit. :wink: :smiley:

8

zoogirl, you are the bestest ever! Those are fantastic! :smiley:

9

I would say point to a picture of Keith Richards, but that would just be mean. :frowning:

10

Your friend is so old that he writes his birth date in roman numerals?

In the summers of his youth he fished trilobites on the beach?

He gets nervous when someone mentions that scientists are still looking for the Missing Link?
By the way he dated Lucy for a couple months…

11

My brother and his wife pulled this one on me a couple years ago. They live in central California and I live in southern Washington.
" We saw a glow on the northern horizon tonight and we were concerned about a forest fire, but then we realized it must be the candles on your birthday cake."

12

Print out a Photoshop copy of a Social Security card with his name and the number 000-00-0001

13

Photoshop a picture of him onto a Nativity scene Christmas Card showing him as a grown man looking at the baby Jesus. This would make him officially “older than God”.

14

He’s so old that;
He once yelled at Methuselah to get off his lawn.
His birth certificate was printed on clay tablets, but was lost when Alexandria was burned.
He remembers when the Grand Canyon was only mediocre.
He wore togas long after they went out of fashion.
His family was the first on the block to get fire.
His first girlfriend was named Wilma, but she dumped him for some guy named Fred.

15

Of the many very funny suggestions here, this is my absolute favorite.

16

He remembers when the Beatles were just larvae.

17

Me, too. It’s just so…perfect. An oversized poster would be best. 2’ x 4 '. And set it in his chair.