Recently, my boss had a birthday, and our office gave him a card that we had all signed. Clever me, I wrote “You still have the heart of a young boy. I saw it in a jar in your desk.”*
Now, it’s my secretary’s birthday, and another card is making the rounds for everyone to sign. I will likely write something dull, but I started thinking of horribly inappropriate things to write in a card. The only one that sprang to mind was the terribly unfunny “Happy B-day, B-iatch!.”
Can y’all think of any? I’m not going to use any. I do like my secretary. I just thought it might be fun.
I stole that from someone, but I don’t remember who.
Actual text from the last birthday card I gave out, to the woman I habitually sleep with. (You must understand that it followed a full week of increasingly petulant hints that she expected poetry in her card.)
Surprisingly, it went over really well. Well, maybe not so surprisingly. Same woman. I’m beginning to think if I really want out I’m going to have to be more assertive. Argh. Being a jerk doesn’t come as easily to me as you might think, from these two examples.
