Shortly before anyone in our department has a birthday, the official Department Birthday Card gets circulated for everyone to sign. There are a lot of Happy birthday!s and signatures, of course, sprinkled with the occasional in-joke.
Before this job, I used to pride myself on coming up with interesting things to say in birthday cards, but my gift seems to have left me. I’m often stuck writing “Many happy returns of the day,” which is less than usual but still an old chestnut.
Today I signed “Time for another lap around the sun!” Better, but not amazing.
I need some suggestions, or at least some inspiration. Writing in personal cards isn’t too hard, but giving birthday greetings in front of a group is a pain.
So what do you write in communal birthday cards?
Yeah. The title should read co-workers’. I know that.
This pretty much only works if people know you have a goofy sense of humor…
say, as an example, that the card is printed with:
“it’s your birthday! A million happy wishes for you!”
then I would write:
“it’s your birthday! A million happy wishes for you! from your pal, Bad News!”
Usually I do this right below the printed area.
It’s especially goofy if the printed verse is long.
Here’s looking up your old address.
What I write, uhm nothing, fortunately we aren’t subjected to this torture 
What would be fun to write: Another year of age, another year closer to retirement
Age doesn’t count except in horseshoes (it is suppose to be a huh? type of thing)
My favorite:
“You’re not getting better, you’re just getting older.”
Amazingly, no one has actually gotten angry over this (they consider the source).
“Another year older, another year better. Lucky Us”