Okay, so I’ve spent a year getting in shape. I weighed 220 now I weigh 180. I’ve been running all year and the goal has been to run a half marathon (13 miles). I hurt my foot though about 2 weeks ago which jeopardizes my ability to participate. Of course my dumbass friend who is fiercly competitive and likely trying to compensate for the size of his testicles decides to enter it too, and then goes about boasting how he will beat me.
I’m so pissed. Why would he try to overshadow one of my greatest personal goals in the past 10 years? He has no respect as well for the fact that I’m injured. Now this positive goal is turning into a negative one. Normally I would like to beat him to put him in his place (even though that shouldn’t be the point) but now If I want to protect my foot from long term damage I will have to be careful, and maybe not even participate.
Of course he’ll hang his victory over me for months.
I’m not going to defend your friend’s actions, but probably why he’s doing it is because you inspired him. If he thought little of your abilities and then sees you training for a half-marathon, he probably wondered why he couldn’t do the same thing. And competitive people… sigh you have to accept them the way they are. My wife’s the same way, in fact we’re in a similar situation with our training.
All I can say is that running is more than a physical training regimen. It trains your mind and your character as well. Physical injuries and competitive people are part of the training. Try to be patient while your injury heals, and try not to overcompete, and you’ll end up winning in the long run. There will be another race next year.
“[INSERT YOUR FRIEND’S NAME HERE], I love you, man, but you’re out of line here. Not everything I do is to prove that you’re a drooling geek. You’re cool, and you’ve got the fire, but it’s not about you all the time, [INSERT YOUR FRIEND’S NAME HERE], OK? Just tone it down a notch, [INSERT YOUR FRIEND’S NAME HERE]. You’re a good guy and a great friend . . . even if you are a drooling geek.”
First, congratulations on the running training - it’s tough. And it shows incredible character that you’ve been able to set a goal, do the necessary training, and stick with it for so long. (Rest and recover and I know you’ll come back stronger).
Man, I had a ‘friend’ (ex co-worker) like that. At the ripe old age of 36 I decided I’d learn how to skate, and a couple of months later decided to join a beginner’s hockey league that played at the same rink as Mr. Canada. At one point over beers he says, out of the blue, ‘you know, you’ll never be as good as me’.
And thirded. If he’s being a dumbass, tell him, and let him either realise it, or lose you as a friend. I wouldn’t tolerate this from any friend of mine. A certain amount of good-natured teasing, of course - but this doesn’t sound like that.
Thirded. Time to find friends who don’t need to feel superior to you. (And, by the way, if you care about putting him in his place, it may be time to find friends you don’t need to feel superior to).
You’re the only one in a position to judge whether his friendship is worth it or not. You sound just as competitive as he is – and that’s fine! You’ve been doing just great! Injuries happen when you are athletic. I would not risk permanent injury just to prove a point to anyone. If you want to be a winner, do it on a personal basis. Constantly strive for personal best. No one can defeat you except yourself.
Two really good films about competition: Chariots of Fire and Personal Best
I had someone do something like that to me in school over grades. I was kind of disturbing. My sister pointed out that everyone uses some goal to get them through school, and this person was using me. She pointed out it wasn’t my competition, but totally belonged to the other person. Fortunately, this person wasn’t a friend, so I didn’t have to deal with her anymore after school was over.
I don’t really care too much what he thinks, alas i belong to a community of people who are easily swayed by his loud ramblings and they will think he’s the shit too. I know get new friends etc. I am working on it, I work with him on music and it’s great. I’m trying to get out of the performing profession and more into the education profession. Hopefully if I get a teaching job next year, contact with him will be minimal.
My next rant will have to include more profanity so it stays in the pit
If/when he brings it up, don’t rise to the bait other than to self-deprecatingly observe that since he is such a stud, how come so many hundreds/thousands of people beat him, and why is he so geeked over beating one recently overweight running neophyte?
If it is only the 2 of you and he brings it up, just decide on one simple response to use as your mantra, and let the conversation drop on your end. ** “Yep, you really kicked my ass.” “You are quite the stud.” “May I bear your children?” **
If he repeats it, simply say, "As I said, you really kicked my ass…"
If he crows when other people are around, and they are interested in the topic, essentially ignore him and simply observe how pleased you are with the progress/growth you have made, and how you still find it hard to imagine you actually ran/jogged/walked/crawled 13 miles. Believe me - that very achievement will impress most non-runners, and most runners (other than your asshole friend) will appreciate the accomplishment.
The only person you are competing against is you. And you’ce already won/accomplished a great deal. Don’t let this one schmuck devalue your effort/accomplishments.
What time are you aiming at? IMO, the 1/2 marathon is a great distance. It is long enough that a plodder does not get just whooped by young speedsters - a real trest of endurance. But it is not so insanely long and demanding as training for and competing a marathon.
