My fucking mother.

The BBQ Pit
1

I intended this to be a continuation of this thread, but as I wrote it, it became more and more obvious to me tat it wasn’t an MPSIMS post, but a BBQ OP.

I tried to keep the entire post very… Subdued, but you should be easily able to read my hostility if you’ve read some of my other posts. Despite all that, though, i cannot call this anything but a pitting of my mother.

It might be helpful to go read a bit of the backstory in the other thread, but I think I put enough for this to stand alone.

I don’t know if anyone is interested in an update, but my mother miscarried a while back (actually, i believe the fetus was aborted, because it was causing significant health problems for her).

I don’t really remember how much I shared of her, last time I posted, so I might cover some not so new ground on this story.

My mother lives with her parents now, who also take care of their granddaughter (their sons daughter). Shes done so for three months, and to my knowledge has only gotten a job within the last month, and offered my grandparents a total of 100.00 USD in rent, and using her foodstamps to buy limited groceries. Why my grandparents allow her to live with them is beyond me, considering she got a credit card in my grandmothers name and ran up 15,000.00 USD in debt (which my grandparents will default on, because they are on a limited, fixed income for the most part, and make a little extra money via a pottery shop they own). But I’ve digressed… Thats not this story.

We went to the beach, last week. By we, I mean me, my father, grandmother, the granddaughter they care for, another grandchild with two toddlers of her own, two of my other cousins and my great aunt. We went partially for a graduation party for one of my cousins (not the girl who lives with my grandparents), partially for a birthday (the girl who lives with my grandparents) and mostly just for a family getaway that wouldn’t cost so much, since most of us (me and my father excluded) stayed in my great aunts beach-area trailer.

We were at a beach near Mrytle Beach, so my mother and my aunt decided that rather than riding down with family, they’d be “ultra cool party girls” with one of my aunts friends and go to myrtle beach, party for one night and come to the birthday grill out. Unfortunately, this didn’t work out, because their friend didn’t feel like driving up to deposit them with us for the party (or so im told), so instead they spent the next night out drinking and partying – standing up an 11 year old girl with so much as an appology for not bringing a birthday cake they promised to bring.

My father and I went out and got the birthday cake, and we would’ve driven the hour or so to mrytle and back to pick up my mother and aunt, but they had no interest in even coming for the party.

I can’t explain how disgusted I am with my mothers behavior – and my aunts, for that matter. It’s not bad enough to live, near went free with your parents at 40 years old, in your nieces bedroom, and stay up on the computer until 5AM before she has standardized testing (did I forget to mention that?), and have your mother drive you to and from work every day without offering gas money (that, too?)? Must you also spend what little money you’ve managed to acquire on a hotel, drinking and shopping, instead of saving for a place to live so you’re not living with your parents until they die?! All they want is a little piece and fucking quiet, and you’ve refused to offer them that.
If all this wasn’t bad enough, I finally decided to accept my families invites on facebook (so I could keep up with my cousins, mostly) and I see your dumb ass has posted something like “Im the topic of conversation on 2 beaches, I must be doing something right.” (that might be verbatim) ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!?!?

That’s on top of the nightly postings about her going out to bars, and getting blackout drunk (“they said I had a good time last night, LOL” – not lol, bitch… Goddamnit).

Also on top of her trying to convince me to go out to a bar with her, ostensibly to spend time with me, in reality to get blackout drunk. I told her no, i was waiting on money to be fedexed to me (I was working on a project for work while in vacation) and i needed to be there, awake, sober, early in the morning the next day so i could complete the project. Of course, she still insisted to the point of my having to be forceful with her in the topic… And then she had the balls to be offended about it!?

Also, she’s a an immature child and yells at a ten year old (now 11) for doing the slightest thing wrong. She seems to think that because she’s older, the 11 year old should inherently defer to her better wisdom on every topic under the sun… Despite the fact that her better fucking wisdom got her living at her parents home at the age of 40.

By the way, I couldn’t figure out how to fit it in above, but I’d like it if said thank you to your mother in dire need of a hip replacement (but can’t yet afford it, because she’s not on full medicare yet) for picking up your dumb asses dirty laundry and washing it, instead of saying “oh, but I should t have had THAT much to do…”

2

Your mom sounds like a endangered wild animal…

Can’t live with her…can’t shoot her.

3

It’s just a phase. Every teenager goes through this… she’ll grow out of it.

Oh wait, she’s 40? Yeah you’re fucked.

4

And you have her genes.

5

Unfortunately.

Although she has her mothers genes, and I don’t see how they could possibly be related. My mother was giving birth to a child (me), and married (and divorced?) to her first husband (who is not my father) by this point in her life, though. So I think I’m safely on a different track entirely than she was.
Also, i made more money last week, on vacation, than she has in a week her entire life, as far as I know. So it’s unlikely that I’ll be forced to live with my father at 40 – and I sure as hell won’t be living with her. Besides, I’ve already promised my father his own Miami condo with a hot, live in nurse who wears miniskirts when he’s in his 70s.

6

Man, that sucks. My wife and I lived in a trailer park for awhile to save up enough money for a down payment on our house, and I saw a lot of women like her, with their little kids running around until after 11pm on a school night while Mom is at the bar getting soused with the future father of her next pregnancy.

And almost to a person, if you dare to confront them about any of it, they get a very defensive “fuck you” attitude about their kids. “Don’t fucking tell me how to raise my kids, goddamn it, I’m a good mother to them!”, or something similar.

Its sad.

7

I’m sorry for your troubles.The situation sounds serious.

This is a semi private public message board and you just hung your own mother out to dry. Probably no one will know who you are so you’re free to whine away.

But **I never trust anyone who bashes a family member or friend **to another person or on a message board.

If a person rips his own mother publicly, every other person in their life is going to get the same treatment.

I hope you situation gets better. But i’d never want to know you.

8

Judgmental, much?

For an encore are you going to pop into the “someone with borderline personality disorder” thread and slag off everyone there who talked about their BPD parents/relatives/friends who threatened to kill the poster/kill themselves/otherwise made the lives of innocent people miserable? Hey, maybe if you’re lucky, someone will start a “I was molested by my (close relative)” thread and you can go piss all over them, too. God forbid anyone commiserate or comfort others over traumatic events perpetrated by those who are supposed to love us and care for us.

9

If you think i hung my own mother out to dry, here, you’re an idiot.

If you knew anything about the situation, you might have some input into the situation. I anonymously posted a story (or set of stories). I didn’t post her name and address.

On top of that, her behavior in the past isn’t really deserving of the typical protections a mother would receive. I’ve stood up for my mother far more than she deserves, and i still do. However, her behavior is extremely poor.

10

I read this and your previous thread, while somewhat feeling like a voyeur. Honestly though, are you really surprised by her behavior? You don’t need to cut her out, but apart from her both geographically and emotionally is a good step, which it sounds like you’re starting. I have no idea what he dysfunction is, but there are two current threads about borderline personality disorder which might be of interest.

11

I’m with you Ferret Herder - OP has done nothing wrong. Everyone needs to vent at some point. I don’t see Todderbob bashing his mother, just describing a series of events, who’s getting bashed is everyone else he mentions and himself.

12

Sheesh, one of the joys of a place like this is that it can be a good place to vent, to send those letters that you don’t actually mail, and ease the frustrations and anger we sometimes feel, without hurting friends or family.

Vent away, I say.

To the OP: good luck with your mother. I think the only thing you can do is realise you can’t make someone grow up, and let it be–but give your grandparents as much support as you can, emotionally or financially.

13

Dammit dad, how many times do I have to tell you to stop the trolling?

14

I’m not really seeing the bashing or hanging out to dry here. Frankly, by the time you’ve gotten to the point of doing identity theft on your own momma…you’ve forfeited most of the rights to discretion and privacy to which most people are entitled. Yes, under normal circumstances it’s assholish to go around blabbing every little less-than-ideal thing friends and family do, but these aren’t exactly normal circumstances.

15

Todderbob, I really recommend that you look into Al-Anon. It’s not just about dealing with alcoholism, but to help in managing any kind of toxic relationships.

16

Ah, so it runs in the family.

That explains a lot.

17

Sounds like Kevja needs to bulk up on high fiber foods and laxatives then get on over to Sampiro’s epic family stories for some serious thread shitting. I mean, if Todderbob’s OP sounded bad to Kevja, Sampiro’s posts will send him/her totally over the edge.

18

So 90% or so of the board has lost at some point, or will lose in the future, kevja’s trust.

I think we’ll survive, somehow.

19

:smiley:

20

kevja, Rand Rover just pointed out your behavior was trollish. You’re in serious trouble.
Apologize for being an ass now, and maybe it’ll all go away.