My mother and I have a very strained relationship. I began this OP with a long history of her zaniness and self centered bullshit, but I realized it was irrelevant to my point. She has Borderline Personality Disorder, and if you know anything about that, you know how trying our relationship can be. We had an incident in November that was the icing on the cake, and we have only spoken twice since them.
I have kids who love her. And she loves them. I have to work hard to strike a healthy balance in her time with them. We had decided that she would pick them up at 12:15 (after church) in front of my church, and take them to lunch.
Originally Mom wanted to get them Saturday to spend the night and take them to her church (NO FUCKING WAY!). Then she said she would bring them to my church and sit with them. I told her that we had something going on regarding my work in Costa Rica that I wanted the kids to see, so no…
Mom is a fag-bashing fundie. Our theologies are complete opposites. I have given much of my time and money working on behalf of a small village in Costa Rica. She says I should be helping someone in the good ol’ USA, not people who want to come take our jobs. She spends her time ensuring gays cannot marry and NBC cannot show (the short-lived) "Book of Daniel. (please - lets not get into the ignorance therein)
This Sunday was a big deal to me. I have taken two groups down to Costa Rica to work with the orphan food program. These folks and I have worked very hard on this project. The next step is to secure the building they are using so everything they have doesn’t get stolen all the time. We will need about $7,000 to build the necessary walls to make this happen.
Yesterday we had a video presentation in church, after which I got up in front of 500 people and asked for $7k. I was feeling a lot of pressure because so much was riding on me being able to communicate the desparate need in this small village to my church. You only get one chance to ask for $7k.
So back to our agreement that she would pick the kids up at 12:15 in front of the church…
During the service I climb the daiz and begin to talk about how important the mission is for these orphans, and how I believe we can help…then I look out and see my mom in the congregation grinning like an idiot. So in the middle of my presentation I am struck by “is that mom?” and “WTF is she doing here?” I completely lost my game in the middle of the talk. I go back on track, but it may have been obvious I was scrambling for a minute.
So mom why the FUCK were you there? You haven’t been supportive, in fact you have ACTIVELY tried to sabotage my efforts in Costa Rica. WTF were you thinking? I realize, even though you do not, that your borderline personality makes you unable to recognize or respect boundaries. But this was important! Did you not know that me seeing you out there would come as a shock to me? A distraction? Did you not care? What the fuck?
But you made your point. You are going to go where you want. You are going to do what you like. If I ask you to meet me in front of the church, you will come in to show that you can. and certainly you CAN! But should you? Should you sit in the congregation while your estranged son makes a presentation? If you feel you must, don’t you think you should warn me that you are coming before I see you from the platform?
FUCK!
