My grandpa.

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

The last time I saw my grandpa before I moved to Ohio, he was about 77 years old and in fine condition. He’s always been a “hale, hearty”, friendly guy with a good disposition. He retired from farming in the 1980s, but continued to go to baseball games, drink beer, and work on cars and boats. By summer 1995 when I left Florida after living there three years, grandma and grandpa were living in Florida full-time, and grandpa (who appeared more like a man in his late 60s than 70s) was enjoying daily fishing trips with his friends, buying boats cheap, repairing them and selling them, and generally getting around great and living “the good life”.

Unfortunately, my daughter and I couldn’t afford to return to Florida for a visit until this year. Apparently, grandpa has had a bad couple of years (he’s 86) with two strokes last summer that landed him in the hospital for a while. Grandma, at 80, is still doing great (she still even looks the same… says it’s the Elizabeth Arden face cream… how does she do that??), but grandpa… what a difference. I couldn’t believe my eyes when I first saw him. Now, he can barely get around, and the doctor thinks he’s getting Alzheimer’s… grandpa seems to float in and out of knowing what’s going on. He has trouble with everyday activities like taking a bath (hell, like getting from his chair in the living room to the kitchen table in the next room), let alone climbing around on boats and spending hours on the Gulf like he used to. His hearing is terrible, and communication is hard. Grandpa also went from looking a decade younger to looking much older than his age. He’s still a big guy, but he has aged tremendously since I saw him last.

But GRANDPA is still there! He always gave us a big smile when we dropped in (we were staying with my mom and dad, who are also retired in Florida) and asked how we were doing, even offered us a pop every time we visited (we had to get it ourselves, of course). He’s still got that friendly, optimistic attitude and obviously makes an effort to know what’s going on around him. I could feel the love and kindness from his presence, just like when I was a little kid and we would visit them on the farm. He really enjoyed having us visit and told us so. My mom took him to a big band concert while we were there, and she said he had a wonderful time, getting into the music and commenting (loudly) on the different songs. Even if grandpa is kinda fuzzy on the details, and can’t do many of the things he used to do, he still has (IMHO) a good quality of life and is full of life. I’m so glad we got to see my grandparents and we plan to go back at the end of the year.

*I can’t believe some people are in favor of prematurely ending the lives of older people who are extremely impaired. * I can’t imagine it would do society or individuals any good to lose our wonderful elders. It was so great to see my grandpa, even if he is considerably different than the man I once knew. And I don’t think he’s any less of a person than he used to be, in any way. Nor is anybody else who is elderly, disabled, or chronically ill. God bless my grandpa!

2

You’re so lucky you still have your grandpa. I wish I still had mine.

Cherish him! :slight_smile:

3

I’m not sure what you’re getting at. Based on your description of your grandpa’s current state, I don’t think anyone would advocate ending his life. But if he were to really decline, and was suffering and bedridden, with very little hope of ever improving, don’t you think you would want a way for him to “go gently into that good night”?

4

I know that people are definitely in worse states than my grandpa is right now; I think perhaps the shock of seeing him again after almost nine years and a lot of new health problems, have got me thinking he’s worse than he is. But the other side of it is, he’s still present and accounted for although terribly transformed from his former condition. I can’t (or don’t want to) imagine that anyone I know would be so bad off as to not be “present and accounted for”, or that I would prefer them to not be around. Denial, maybe?? Or just my characteristic optimism bleeding into my opinion on this topic as well as almost any other??

5

My grandpa turns 93 next week. Up until about 5 years ago, he was in amazing health and had all his wits about him. Lately, though, each time I see him, he seems a little more confused and just so . . .OLD. It’s shocking, really. I mean, I know 93 is old, but to think that that’s my same grandpa is just sad. His death, I think, I could handle. (How selfish would I be to begrudge nearly 100 years?) But his incapacity? Honestly, that would be 1000 times worse–for all of us, especially my nana (a young 88!) and I don’t think I could watch that. I know my dad couldn’t. And I’m sure my grandpa wouldn’t want to be like that himself. That’s not who he is.

6

Your grandfather is not incapacitated. My Uncle Albert (great-uncle) suffered from Alzheimer’s, along with a host of other health problems. He attacked my aunt. He forgot his own name. In the end, he just wasn’t there. At all. Sometimes, that happens, and some people would rather die than have that happen to them.

Your grandpa still has his mind. He still has his personality and still remembers the people who mean the most to him. He may fade in and out, but he is fundamentally still there. I pray for that to always be the case with you; it isn’t always that way.

I won’t even go into some of the people who’ve called in to my work before. I service annuities, and some of the stories you hear and some of the people you talk to just break your heart. :frowning: