My housing choice pleases me - but am I getting into a bad habit?

I’m introverted - not unbelievably introverted, but surely in the top ten percent of humanity in terms of introversion.

I’m a UW student, twenty years old. Last summer, I moved out on my own for the first time, going into a rooming house where rent+utilities was $465/month. I had a good time, but sometimes the business of the place got to me.

I started looking for studios, even though I knew the cost would be significantly higher. I found my present studio, which is $655/month for rent+utilities, in July.

I don’t regret my choice. I prefer to have my own space. But I still have a question…

Am I doing myself a disservice by not adapting myself to shared living spaces? Maybe, I suppose, if I don’t like shared living spaces right now, I should just learn to live with it. I can undoubtedly afford to live in studios for the next year or two, but maybe, in the long run, I should just get used to rooming houses. I love having my own bathroom and kitchen, but maybe it isn’t really that necessary and I’m unjustifiably spending my money on more expensive housing.

What do you guys think?

I wouldn’t worry about it. Whatever floats your boat. I much prefer a secluded lifestyle. I have plenty of interaction at work and with friends. My time is just that. My time.

Another introvert here. I’ll take a stab at this one.

We’re not talking about going into debt to afford a McMansion. We’re talking about you spending your own money (right?) to house yourself. I mean, it’s not even two hundred bucks a month more than the other place. You have a right to your own happiness.

I’ll repeat, in case it’s needed.

You have a right to your own happiness.

Your current home makes you happy? Sweet. That’s all that really matters.

Your “disservice” comment makes me think that maybe you feel you should, I dunno, sort of train yourself out of being an introvert. There’s something to be said for reaching out of your comfort zone, your little shell, in order to commune with the rest of humanity. However, no one ever said you have to do that by sharing a bathroom and a kitchen with a portion of said humanity.

Shoot, I know happily married couples - people who genuinely cherish and love each other - who can’t share a kitchen or a bathroom. So forcing yourself to do the same with some dipshit just for the sake of being able to say you are seems … unnecessarily masochistic, I guess. No one’s gonna give you a medal for getting a roommate.

I know plently of people with swingin’ social lives that nevertheless prefer to come home to a place where no new messes have been created in their absence.

I don’t think what you’re doing counts as a “bad habit.” You might be worrying about nothing.

Now go find something else to worry about.

You will likely find that living alone will reduce your tolerance for sharing space with others in the future. Of course, driving a Rolls Royce will likely reduce your tolerance for driving a Yugo, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t drive a Rolls if you can afford it. If, for whatever reason, you find living alone to very enjoyable then allocating a little more of your resources to private accommodations (and less to some other aspect of your life) is entirely reasonable.

There are all kinds of people in this world. Some enjoy the company of others, some don’t.

Most people are in the extroversion category of enjoying the company of others, and so those that are introverted are often seen as having something wrong with them and get told things like ‘maybe you should get out of your comfort zone a bit more and spend more time around people.’

Bollocks to that. If you are comfortable with the way you are, then conduct your life in the way you see most fit. If that means spending a bit more to be in accommodation that suits you and your lifestyle, and you’re happy to do that, then go for it.

My only caveat would be a quick check as to whether you are, hand on heart, introverted or socially shy, because they are two different things that are often lumped together. If you wish you were more confident in being around people, but just don’t know how to be, then it’s probably social shyness.

Nothing wrong with wanting your own space. After my divorce I moved into an apartment with a roommate. He was a great roommate, always kept to himself or was rarely there, cleaned up a bit of the time, never blasted music or had loud parties.

I hated it.

I tripled my housing costs by buying my own house, but soooo worth it.

Why would you have to share space with others in the future? I mean, one day you might want to share space with AN other, but why accustom yourself to rooming houses? The older you get the less likely you’re going to have to share a bathroom with somebody you a) aren’t having sex with, or b) didn’t have sex to make.

I have lived on my own totally alone for 28 years. If that is how you choose to live, it’s a perfectly legal choice.

I recently ran into some legal and psychological troubles, and living alone is seen as suspect, particularly for women. But I regard it as a valide choice.

In “The World According to Garp” Jenny Fields is seen as a “sexual suspect” for not wanting to share her life. This attitude still holds.

I wouldn’t worry about it. I’ve only had two roommates as an adult (one was my sister), but I have no problem living with my husband. If not for him, I would be happily living alone. I don’t think you’re developing a bad habit so much as you are being true to your real nature.

Home is the one place I have in this world where everything’s the way I want it. I clean it when I want, I put things where I want, I have people over when I want. So I can’t fathom thinking maybe I should give that all up just because I may hypothetically may need to live with someone someday. I say if you’re happy living alone and you can afford it, stay there and enjoy it.

Besides, I’m skeptical that living with someone now will help you live with someone else in the future. Every housemate is different, with different needs, different expectations, and different habits. What matters more, IMO, is being able to share, communicate, and compromise. If you think making yourself live with someone now will help in that regard, go for it, but if you think you can do that just fine now, then I don’t see the point of forcing this change.

Unless you’re training for a career in which it’s mandatory or inevitable that you share your living space with others,* I can think of NO good reasons for you to force yourself to do so. You enjoy living alone, and you can afford it. That being the case, it’s about how you choose to spend your own money, and that’s no one’s call but yours.

*I don’t know what career that might be - the military? Space travel? Working at the research station in Antarctica?

Not only is it okay, but I think everyone needs to live by themselves for at least a little bit. Extraverted people need to learn to be happy by themselves, and introverts need their space.

Washington, Wisconsin, or Wyoming?

The day I moved into my first solo apartment was one of the happiest days of my life. It was unbelievably freeing. I don’t mind sharing living quarters with my partner; in fact it suits me very well. But I’d have to be in very dire straits to ever consider living with a room- or house-mate again.

What is a “rooming house”?

In the United States (where I assume you are not from), college students typically live in college dorms, fraternity houses or they find appartments near campus. And typically the trend is to move towards more individual and less institutional housing as one gets older. For example, at my school a typical student would start out in the freshmen dorms, live in a fraternity house their sophomore and junior years and maybe move into an off campus house with 3 or 4 friends their senior year. As an adult once you graduate, people will typically live in an appartment with a couple of friends or by themselves, depending on their financial situation and need for company.

By living alone you might be missing out on a certain degree of social bonding. People do tend to become more close with the people they live with day in and day out. Then again, sometimes living with people is a royal pain in the ass.

The only thing I would worry about is becomming too isolated. So when you live alone you need to make more of an effort to find other people.

I’ve lived on my own for 23 years - the last 20 in a house with a big TV, lounger chair, network computer room - ansd now I’m getting myself a model railway. :cool:

As others have said, it’s what suits you.
Just make sure you keep in contact with family and friends.

Oh, and I’d buy rather than rent. I bought my house for £60,000 ($98,000) 20 years ago and it’s now worth 3 times that (even with the recession).

I am probably the world’s biggest extrovert. However, when it comes to my residence, it’s my space: I am only willing to share that space with my family. So it’s whatever makes you happy.