and I’m scared. He was our only income and we have two babies and have been living paycheck to paycheck for awhile now. He’s gone to be with his mother who had surgery this week and while he was gone I got a certified letter from his work saying that he volentarily abandoned his job. He’d even filled out paperwork requesting the time off. I guess someone didn’t like him much and decided this was the best way to get rid of him.
Are you sure it’s not a mistake? If I were you, I’d have your husband call his boss - at home, if necessary - and ask what’s going on! If he filled out paperwork, it can’t be considered abandonment! Does he work at a large company? If so, it’s quite likely that there’s been some miscommunication between departments. Get this straightened out ASAP!
If he filed for Family Medical Leave Act they aren’t allowed to fire him, as I understand it. It does depend on the size of the company. However, that doesn’t mean he gets paid while he’s with his mother. I hate to say it, but if you’re living paycheck to paycheck, can you afford to have him stay with his mom? Even if she needs help, to expect your only source of income to leave his job and family seems a little unrealistic. If nothing else, perhaps she could stay with you and you could help her, since you don’t work outside the home.
StG
This is scary.
One thing I know from experience is that you need a plan. Put it on paper, right away. Otherwise it gets to feel overwhelming.
Some things to discuss with Mr. Leif:
Filing for unemployment insurance
Getting that resume together
Telling everyone you know that you are seeking work
Getting those interviews
Understanding that almost any job is better than no job, and that it is easier to find work when you already have a job
I sincerely hope this helps - Good Luck!
Been there, done that, still living paycheck to paycheck. I agree with the others, check it out and make sure it’s not a mistake, look for another job and look into unemployment ASAP.
I’m feeling for you.
He called. They “can’t find the paperwork” and don’t remember him telling the general manager for the last month that his mother was having surgery. He asked about family leave act before he left and they told him that it didn’t apply to him as he hasn’t worked there for a full year yet.
StGermaine I couldn’t talk him out of going. He complained that I always get to visit my family (my family always buys the plane tix.)
I’ve found a couple of jobs to apply to for me. 3rd shift stuff. He should be able to work around that. The butterflies in my stomach haven’t stopped yet. Leifsdad will be home tomorrow and I’m hoping that will help the way I’m feeling.
Leifsmama, what field does your husband work in? Since we’re in the same area, I might know of some openings. Also, did he keep a copy of the paperwork? It’ll help any discussions with his now former employers if he has a copy.
Under a year? I always thought the probationary period was six months. Anyway, I’d go to the FEPC about this. Especially if the company he worked for has any government contracts. There are rules about warnings and the like. You can’t just fire someone, even with cause unless you have documented at least three warnings. That may be just on companies with federal contracts. Check it out. He may have a cause of action against his boss.
Good luck to you and your family.
Leifsmama, my husband was “downsized” when I was 6 months pregnant with my 2nd child. I worked part-time at the time so his job was essential. I completely understand about the butterflies and the anger that comes along with this.
My husband took a few weeks to get over it, then he used his job loss as a chance to begin a new career. After a rocky start, it ultimately turned out to be a really good move for us.
I’m hoping good things will come your way soon.
I hate to bring it up, but are you sure that he told the manager and filed the paperwork? Correct me if I’m wrong, but from what you mention about you trying to talk him out of it, and him complaining about you getting to visit your family, I’m getting the feeling that there was some strife over this visit to his Mom. Are you sure he just didn’t up and go and not tell his workplace?
BTW, you do have to work someplace for a year before the Family Leave Act goes into effect.
Hmmm.
This almost sounds like a Las Vegas- style dirty trick. Could be the company just wanted to lay a few people off for economic reasons, and “lost” the paperwork so they could let him go without an increase in their unemployment premiums. I don’t know how it works elsewhere, but in Nevada, if a company has a layoff, the unemployment premiums it has to pay increase, so they’ll call a bunch of workers in and demand things from them that no human being could possibly do. Then, when they are unable to meet the company’s unreasonable expectations, they are let go for “poor job performance”.
Unfortunately, if he “voluntarily abandoned” the job, he may not be eligible for the unemployment. Hope he saved his copies of the paperwork. Any way you slice it, he’s going to need them.
iconoplast He’s a chef. If you know of anything, I can’t tell you how much we’d appreciate it.
Athena I saw the paperwork all filled out. We did argue a little bit about how he could go when we had a newborn child and finances so tight, but I know he told the GM and the Chef.
We didn’t make copies of the paperwork as we never anticipated this in a million years. He wasn’t happy there and he’d told them he was searching for new employment. They’d told him thank you for his candor and assured him that they wouldn’t replace him before he’d found a new job. I guess we’ve been gulible.
Leifsmama, I’ve been there, done that. My husband was even a chef at the time.
We had a 2yo and I was 3 months pregnant when he lost his job unexpectedly. Because our housing was tied to the job, we found ourselves nearly homeless as well. We moved twice during that pregnancy, the second time during my 8th month. It got pretty ugly for a while. Our car was reposessed. I cried with relief when I was able to find winter jackets and snowsuits for both our children the next winter for $20 total in a used clothing shop.
Probably the biggest mistake we made was waiting to apply for unemployment. We assumed that he would be able to find something else right away and were too proud to ask for help before we needed it. My advice is to always do the paperwork for unemployment right away. If it happens that he finds something wonderful quickly, you can always return the money. But if he doesn’t, they don’t help you retroactively.
The most important message I want to convey, though, is that you can get through difficult times and, generally, it does get better. Things did get better for us, though it took some time. We had to move away for a while, and we did struggle, but we came away stronger. Last year, when my husband had to choose between sticking with a safer-but-unrewarding job or striking out on his own, I encouraged him to do what made him happy. I assured him that, though I appreciate the comforts we now have, losing them does not scare me. I’ve done it before and I could do it again.
Leifsmama, I haven’t heard of anything that I can think of right now, but I will definitely keep my eyes and ears open, and I’ll email you if I hear of anything. And since I’m on my way out for the evening, if I run into anyone who would know about such openings, I’ll be sure and ask them. In the meantime, hang in there, and I’m sure things will be better soon. If there’s anything else I can do to help, please don’t hesitate to get in touch with me.
Thank you iconoplast, it’s really comforting to know you’re looking for us. Thank you PunditLisa and robinh for the success stories. It helps to hear how people have live through similar situations.
Thanks al this is the unemployed dad and as I write this I belive I have already found employment so stick that in your pipe and smoke it former employee tehe and if and one is intrested in working in the restruant business ther is a banquet chef possion available in denver lol