Hubby and I have been married for 15 years, so you’d think I’d’ve lost my capacity for being surprised by his family. HaH.
His parents are divorced - FIL has been married a total of 5 times, to 4 different women. He and current wife live in separate parts of the country, but do plan to cohabit at some point. For a long time there he was heavy into EST. To illustrate what a fun guy he is, last year we had all of them over at Christmastime and he opened our holiday meal by complaining about the mindless chatter overheard at restaurants. His remark was “If what you’ve got to say isn’t an improvement over silence, then don’t say it.” And a ho-ho-ho back atcha.
MIL no longer lives in her truck (w/her two cats) since we bailed her out. That was the second time we’d brought her into our home, paying all of her expenses to relocate from points West. After a few months of her unwillingness to do anything to improve her life (“people suck, life sucks, the human race is hopeless” gets a bit old), we sent her to a homeless shelter program for women. After two years they told her it was time to move on, to which she replied “Well I should have just stayed out West and died.”
BIL lives in a tree. In Alaska, sometimes in Utah. One of those biker/climbers, which looks like an appealing lifestyle for someone in their 20s. Now that he’s in his 30’s and still bumming money off everyone it’s a little less cute. He’s a neat guy, a terrific photographer; I think part of him would like to settle down.
So anyway, now that I’ve typed this out I can see for myself the futility of my expectations, yet still I have them. I thought that when Hubby told them about my being pregnant w/twins (first grandkids, only great-grandkids on MIL side) it would elicit a positive response. They really couldn’t care less. FIL changed the subject; BIL apologized for his lack of enthusiasm, citing problems in his own life; and MIL has left the state and “doesn’t want us to know where she is” according to BIL.
What’s so infuriating about this, to me, is that Hubby is such a great guy and deserves better. He’s the black sheep of the family because he’s NOT f*cked up! He has an advanced degree, admirable career (bioremediation), is politically active, and is a really wonderful husband. You’d think he was a drug addicted criminal from the way they ignore him!
I used to be nice to these people, I was the bridge keeping them in his life b/c of my ridiculous optimism & b/c I was taught to respect my elders. I gave them a lot of my positive energy over the years & get nothing in return. F*ck them. I’m through.
Isn’t that a great moment, I remember doing that on Christmas day on purpose just so I could tease my husband about his caveman ways.