My inner child is screaming 'I WANT THAT!!!'

OK, so we’re up and poring over the Sunday paper, coffee in hand (well, Mrs. O’, anyway) and she points out this odd-looking toy - a Chariot Assault Scooter.

It’s kind of like those old folks’ tricycles you see occasionally, except that where the back two wheels would be, there are two footpads for you to stand on. So you can stand imperially as you rocket down the roadway after giving yourself a good push.

My God, think of the possibilities! “Out of the way, Razor-riding peasants! Your skateboard wheels are no match for my air-pressure inflated might! I am KING OF THE SIDEWALK!!!” evil megalomaniacal laughter :smiley:

Mrs. O won’t get it for me for Christmas, the heartless wench. :frowning:

The only thing better than a Chariot Assault Scooter is a Rocket-Powered Chariot Assault Scooter.

Be sure to tape on only the best-quality Black Cat bottle rockets. Oh, and a plastic gladiator helmet and a spear fashioned from a sharpened broom handle would complete the effect nicely.

Yeegads, It’s ‘Sir Scootsalot

Menacing multi-colored tassels on and about the handgrips would surely help to announce the degree of your dastardly intentions to all who might dare to impede your foward direction.

Tilt with impudence, but tilt nonetheless!

Thespos,
Not bottle rockets. Use the JATO packs available from the handy ACME catalog. See you at the Darwin awards…

Use the bottle rockets to fire warning shots at people in front of you. This works much better than a little “ding ding” bell for clearing a path.

And as you scoot past them, toss firecrackers to add to their confusion.

Well, you all have convinced Mrs. O to get it for me! Thanks, you guys :smiley:

O, I SO WISH you had had one of these at Georgetown. It would have made my decade to see you charioting across Red Square.

Dammit, magdalene, that would indeed have been sweet. Especially if I had my antique blue 3-piece Lenin suit on, complete with hat.

Antique Lenin suit?

LOL…it’s a bird…it’s a plane…no, it’s ROCKET LENIN!!!

Don’t mess with me, you bourgeois punk, I got the might of the ROCKET-POWERED PROLETARIAT behind me! :smiley:

Ooooh…yeah? Well, well…I got my COSSACKS and their force powered nagaikas out after you!
Ha ha!!! Die!!!