I love hot baths. There is nothing that soothes me more than coming home after a long day, running a hot bubble bath to the top of the tub and soaking for an hour or so. I have a big garden tub with built in whirlpool jets and my tub is one of my most favorite places to be.
So I come home Monday night and I just can’t seem to warm up. The heat was on. I built a fire in the fireplace. Nothing was working plus my shoulder was a little stiff so I decided to take a hot bath. Heavenly bliss.
I went in the bathroom and started running the water which made my 2 sons run into the room. It’s like a moth to a flame…they love taking a bath in the “big bathtub with the jets”.
I explained that Mommy needed a little time to herself and when I finished if they wanted to take a bath together and play for a little while they could. But that Mommy needed some private time for a little while. The tiniest minion of Sauron wandered away to play with blocks. The oldest stayed while I got my towels out of the linen closet.
Then my darling oldest child asked me if I wanted bubbles. I told him that I did and he said that while I got my things together he would finish getting my bath ready. Bless his sweet little heart.
I walk back into the bathroom and pass him on his way out. He smiles ever so innocently at me and says, “Have a good bath Mommy.” Precious little angel. It’s moments like these that just make me value being a mom even more.
I take my robe off and slide into the water and MOTHER OF GOD WHAT IS THAT?
My little precious had not only added the bubbles for me. He added about 3 dozen little plastic frogs with sharp little pointy feet. I just so happened to sit right on one of these little plastic frogs. Nothing like a little plastic frog up your ass to relax you, believe me.
The bathtub is now off limits to the little Spawn of Satan until further notice.
I thought this was going to be something similar to that scene in Almodovar’s Women on the Edge of a Nervous Breakdown. If you haven’t seen it…uh, I don’t think I’ll describe it here.
However, on the off chance that he was just trying to help you have a good time in the bath–does he bring his plastic frogs into the tub with him? If he does, you could give him the benefit of the doubt and decide that he was just sharing his toys, an admirable trait even in young Satan Spawn. Or, he may have just been putting his frogs in the tub so that they would be there waiting for him when it was his turn for the tub. Planning ahead, another trait worth nurturing.
But then again, there is something so lovable about a lad who would deliberately put hard plastic frogs where his mother will sit (naked, no less) even though he won’t be there to enjoy her expression. It shows an astonishing level of maturity. He’s a keeper.
They say bathtubs have no memory
I guess their lives are much like mine
That little plastic froggy
Is a surprise every time
It’s hard to say if they are happy
But they don’t seem much to mind
Y’know, there’s something paranormal about being a parent. You develop this odd ability, wherein you can often tell just where a story’s headed, in just a few words.
In this case, I read the thread title and thought, “she just sat on a little orc’s toy.” Honest and for true. I even suspected that it might be a bathtub story, as “intimate encounter” implied to me that Aries was nekkid at the time, and, well, until the college years, generally the only time a parent can be nekkid without fear of interruption is whilst locked in the bathroom.
But the idea that the froggie might have been encountered in mommy and daddy’s bed crossed my mind, too.
I apologize for laughing loud and long at your misfortune, Aries but, well…
It was you and not me, so it’s funny.
[sub]Plus, I almost broke my ass slipping on a “bathtub crayon” yesterday in the shower, so I sympathize, too.[/sub]
