I just recently found out one of my uncles is probably going to a nursing home. He is in the hospital now for an unrelated problem. But while there, they diagnosed him with dementia and poss. the beginning stages of Alzheimers. His wife, who has had more serious problems for some time now, is in the hospital with him. Just a very short while ago he was his old self. Now he seems to fade in and out having problems.
The thing is, he used to be very vigorous when it came to his health. And he used to be very jovial. He was always telling jokes. Now he seems so…mortal.
Does anyone know anything about nursing homes? My main thought is whether or not he will be able to go on day trips with us occasionally, out of the nursing home. I know it’s a bad example, but on the Simpsons cartoon, Grampa Simpson is always going on day trips with the Simpsons out of the nursing home. And of course, any words of encouragement anyone has for me or the family would be greatly appreciated.
i’m sad to hear you’re going through the emotional loss of a loved one. your uncle sounds like someone you’ll truly miss. i had an awesome uncle who was wildly manic depressive, but he always walked around with candy and cash in his pockets (which he was generous with). he didn’t tell many jokes, but i never ceased to find the humor in his mutterings about submarines that he invented and his relations with Princess Caroline.
as for nursing homes…i’ve worked in one and i can tell you that it’s NOT a hospital. the staff is usually very uneducated (LPNs and CNAs require less than 6 months of training). and the staff is usually paid peanuts. the good ones are there because they love taking care of people the bad ones are there to earn a dollar and occasionally take advantage of those less aware. be as involved as you can be in your uncle’s life. good luck!
When I worked with our local Senior Citizen’s Center, I saw a lot of great nursing homes where the residents were as comfortable and active as if they were just living in a seniors’ apartment building. They played cards and games, went out shopping in group excursions. They had large libraries and rec centers. I wouldn’t have minded living there.
In my time, I have also saw some bad ones, and we’ve all heard the horror stories about those. Some of them are dim and dreary if not neglectful.
Tour the place, if you have any say in where your uncle goes. Talk to some of the residents and find out how happy they are living there. Have lunch in the cafeterria, and watch how the staff treats the residents. You’ll know pretty soon if you have a good place or a bad one.
Most of all, visit him. The biggest complaint I heard from the elderly I assisted was lonliness. When I delivered Meals-on-Wheels, the people were utterly delighted to see me, to have company if only for a few moments. Even if you can only drop by for a few minutes, stop in and see him regularly.
Yes, it is possible for nursing home residents to leave for a day, or even a weekend or longer. I worked at a very good private one for several years. We had one lady whose husband would take her to dinner at the country club on a regular basis. We had another whose friends would come and take her to a local casino to play the slots. Another gentleman went on short weekend trips to see family out of state. All of this is possible, but if you want to do it, arrange with your Uncle’s doctor and the nursing home staff ahead of time, so they can provide prescriptions, information, etc.
It is well worth your family’s time to shop very carefully for a nursing home. The good ones are wonderful; the bad ones are beyond hellish. There are guides available on the web about how to pick a nursing home. Also, in most states the records of state inspections, any citations, correction plans, etc are publically available. No facility is going to have a perfect score, but you want the ones that have relatively good scores and corrected any found problems very quickly.
My husband and I work in a nusing home. Day trips or longer are possible and encouraged. We have a lady that stays a week with us and a week with her family.
At the nursing there will be rehab therapy and activities as well.
If you feel the nursing home is to big a step, try a home health aide or nurse first. (Contact your local health department or the yellow pages.) This stage in your uncle’s life is going to be difficult and it is important that if he stays at home, his caregiviers get a break on a regular basis to prevent frustration.
Continue to support and love him. The more stimulation you give him and his brain, the longer you can hold off the demitia. Dont get discouraged if he doesn’t remember you, play along with what he thinks is happing. (Sometimes). It can be fun and help to keep from confusing him more.
The nursing home isn’t the end of the world, just another phase in life, visit him often if he goes. Please don’t allow him simply to be left. That seems to progress demitia and other illness worse than anything.
My heart is with your family whille sorting out this difficult time, just keep in mind no matter what, that is still your uncle. He is the same man he always was but his brain is getting tired of keeping up with the rest of him. Best of luck! {hugs}
