My youngest kid is nearly 15, and has been (at least up until now) a fairly ordinary kid doing the usual rat-baggy things that teenagers do. Having two older brothers (and a sister) who have already ‘paved the way’ being terrible teenagers, I didn’t think that there was anything new that could shock me.
We’ve had the illicitly downloaded porn, and the sneaking beers into parties. We’ve had the letters home from school and conferences with the principal. I’ve endured the ‘Homie’ fashions and the endless loops of eminem/Dr. Dre screaming obscenities AND played at full volume. As I said, the usual teenager stuff.
Until now. And I’m so ashamed. I don’t even know if I can bring myself to talk about it.
I’m blaming it on his friends of course. Those rotten little sods have led my darling boy astray. My son said he first came into contact with IT at the local pool hall (in the same building that his mate’s dad runs a Yoga studio). I know some strange people get into it at some stage in their lives, but shit, he’s only 14 for godsakes.
My son is listening to jazz. Trad. Jazz no less. He’s been sucked in to its evil clutches, and there is no getting him off it now. What the hell am I going to do???
Gotta nip that in the bud. Jazz is gateway music to harder stuff. One day you’ll come home and find him wigging out on be-bop, or “Betty Jane” as the kids today call it.
I dunno. Miles Davis seems like pretty hard stuff to me. I s’pose when he hits the Improvisation phase will be the time to turn to the professionals for help.
Hey. Jazz sucks, and we all know that. Just be glad he doesn’t have a glitter-ball in his room and Farrah Fawcett pictures in his room. You’d really have a mess on your hands then.
Or he would.
You know, my nephew got into jazz. First it was the Jazz Band at school. Then the Honors Jazz Ensemble, and the All-State Jazz Band. He was spending all his money collecting “classics” and newly discovered recordings–Davis, Parker, Coltrane, even Monk!. Then he started playing it with his “friends” on the weekends. Now he’s in the Marine Corp Band. We’ve given up thinking it’s just a phase, we’ve resigned ourselves to having jazz in the family.
But, hey–your son may be different. There’s always hope.
You’ll need to clandestinely search his room from time to time. If you find anything by Ornette Coleman, especially from the “harmolodics” phase, then you’ll need to get him some professional help. Quickly.
Good grief! Please tie him to a stretcher and rush down to your local disco. DO NOT release him until he’s begging you to be dressed up in a white polyester (full Cleveland) suit and demanding to view Saturday Night Fever at least one dozen times back-to-back.
If you fail in this mission, he will soon become curious about such wretched topics as big band, swing, bee-bop and that most insidious of all jazz formats, improvisational music. [shudder]
He’ll live. I listen to everything from Frank Sinatra to Eminem and Shang ri’ Las to Garbage. I’m a male, 22 years of age. He’ll be just fine. Just don’t let him get ahold of country music.
I was officially turned off of Jazz when I went to see a 15 year old who is very good at it (she goes to school in my city). The only problem was that every time she got to a climax in the song she looked like she was alternately orgasming/constipated, judging by the look on her face. It was very out of place.
Same thing happened to my nephew. By the time we recognized his soul patch (you know, the little wanna-be goatee directly under the lower lip) as the secret “I’m available for improvisation” sign to other jazzers, it was too late. He now plays professionally.
His mother and father still love him, but they tell all the neighbors that he has a real job.
I’m not brave enough to search his room (I’m not THAT masochistic) but I did check out his Kazaa Play list.
And OMG…Ornette Coleman was RIGHT THERE in a medley piece (Over the Rainbow and What a Wonderful World with Miles Davis and Bill Frisell). I have no idea what this ‘harmolodic’ phase of which you speak pertains to, but in this instance I think ignorance really is bliss.
I know he didn’t get it from MY side of the family…it must have been the genes from his old man.
;j
